Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything(54)
VERBAL STATEMENTS
Look for phrases you can say that make you feel happy and successful. Some people say, “Woo-hoo!” Other people say, “Awesome!” Explore options and find at least one verbal statement that will make you feel Shine.
SOUND EFFECTS
Find sounds that help you feel a positive emotion—the roar of a crowd, a trumpet fanfare, or the sound of a slot machine jackpot. Pick a sound effect you like and practice using it to wire in your habits.
VISUALIZATIONS
Some people use their imaginations to create a feeling of Shine. This may be harder to do than using the first four options, but it’s flexible (you can do it anywhere) and powerful (lots of Shine).
Spend a few minutes listing what you think about that makes you feel happy and successful—the smiling face of your grandchild, snuggling with your dog, the warm sand at your favorite beach. Whatever works for you. Explore your options and find one that seems easy to imagine and is the most powerful in creating Shine. Use this visualization to celebrate your tiny successes.
EXERCISE #2: TRY A CELEBRATION BLITZ
Try this exercise at least once. For extra credit, make it a regular part of your life.
Step 1: Find the spot that is the least tidy in your home or office.
Step 2: Set a timer for three minutes.
Step 3: After you tidy each item, celebrate.
Step 4: Keep tidying and celebrating.
Step 5: When three minutes are up, stop and focus on what you feel. What has changed? What did you learn?
EXERCISE #3: MAKE A REMINDER: YOU CHANGE BEST BY FEELING GOOD
This exercise is a repeat from the introduction. If you didn’t do this back then, please do so now. Okay? Thank you.
To help you remember that people change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad, here is a simple task.
Step 1: Write “I change best by feeling good (not by feeling bad)” on a small piece of paper.
Step 2: Put this paper somewhere you can read the phrase often, like taped to your bathroom mirror.
Step 3: Read the phrase often.
Step 4: Notice how this insight works in your life (and for the people around you).
Chapter 6
Growing Your Habits from Tiny to Transformative
When Sukumar turned twenty-six, he noticed two things: Everyone around him was getting married and he was growing a paunch. Both came out of nowhere. Only months ago, it had seemed like everyone was single and he was still that skinny guy from Chennai, India. But now Sukumar’s belly spilled over his pants, and after parties, his friends went home with their wives while he went home alone. The same phrase kept echoing in his head: What girl is going to want to marry me?
Eventually, Sukumar decided that he needed to do something about his weight. He began watching what he ate more carefully and he tried to exercise more.
Despite Sukumar’s attempts at ramping up his diet and fitness regimen, his paunch stubbornly remained. But he kept trying, and the “battle of the paunch” (as he calls it) became less about looks and more about health.
Sukumar had begun to experience back and neck pain so bad that he had trouble sitting at his desk for more than thirty minutes. He was an IT expert at a tech company, so desk time was unavoidable. He was willing to tolerate the pain, but the long hours he had to put in at work were hard to endure. Worried about his job performance, he finally went to a doctor. His doctor pointed to the extra weight Sukumar was carrying around his midsection. That, he said, was part of the problem.
Sukumar kept trying to be healthy. Exercise more. Eat less.
For years.
Unfortunately, Sukumar was stuck in the all-too-familiar cycle of crash-course diets punctuated by ambitious workouts. He got hungry and sore, but he wasn’t seeing results. Sukumar’s frustration and physical pain mounted, and he couldn’t seem to gain any traction when it came to getting fit. Time and time again, he would quit his ambitious fitness quest and crash back into his easy chair with a bag of chips.
But Sukumar did get married (he found a girl who thought his paunch was cute). When his wife found her own fitness groove, she suggested that he try working with her personal trainer. This plan went great for a few weeks, but Sukumar soon faltered. Work was busier than ever, and taking an hour out of his day was stressful. He told himself,That’s my problem: no time.
This merry-go-round of fitness attempts and excuses was more than frustrating; it also provoked anxiety. Sukumar was having trouble sleeping and concentrating, yet he felt powerless to do anything about it.
When Sukumar turned forty-three, he realized that he’d been struggling to lose weight for seventeen years.
What had started as a small insecurity had grown into a painful cycle that only ended when he discovered Tiny Habits in 2012.
Sukumar started the method the same way many people do—with push-ups. At the outset, he kept things tiny. After he brushed his teeth, he would do two push-ups. He also created a habit of planking for five seconds. And with those tiny first steps, Sukumar was finally on the path to success. As this habit grew and multiplied, he eventually lost twenty pounds, and five inches vanished from his waist. This wasn’t yet another flash in the pan for Sukumar because a huge shift in identity made it possible for him to break the old cycle and set the stage for maintaining his weight loss and becoming fitter and stronger over the years.