This Close to Okay(80)

“If I could just talk to you over here,” Tallie said, refocusing.

Rye took Joel’s seat when he got up, and part of her worried that Rye would bolt, even though he’d promised not to leave without telling her first. Did that still count? She looked back at him before she walked around the corner with Joel.

*



“Here’s good,” Tallie said as Joel sat in another one of the chairs in the hallway. She skipped a chair and sat, leaving a block of space between them that may as well have been a million miles. “Joel, the emails were a prank. Immature. And I’m sorry. Rye was drunk and joked about emailing you, pretending to be me. And once I found out he’d done it, I didn’t stop him. It was stupid, and it got out of hand.” She stared at her ex-husband, shaking her head. “I can’t even believe you’re here. And don’t get me wrong. It’s kind of you. I believe you came here out of the kindness of your heart because I know how much you love Lionel—”

“A prank? You hate pranks,” Joel said, guffawing. “You’re serious?” he said after examining her face for what felt like a full minute.

“I’m serious and I’m sorry. It was so stupid,” she said.

“Wait. What did you get out of this?”

“I had some questions…and you answered them.”

“Why didn’t you ask me yourself? Why’d you get this guy to do it? I’m so confused right now,” Joel said.

“He was pissed after I’d told him what had happened between us, and I let him speak for me because he was able to do it without holding back. Writing you myself would feel so serious and involved—”

“This guy was all over the news years ago. Some really awful shit. He could be a total lunatic with what he’s been through. Therapy or not, you purposely surround yourself with crazy people who suck you dry, Tallulah,” he said.

“He’s not a lunatic. You think I surround myself with crazy people, which is a horrible thing to say, by the way, and I think you’re always out there looking for the next new thing. New job, new state, new wife…everything is fine until you get bored, right? Nothing can ever be good enough for you!”

“That’s not true,” Joel said softly, shaking his head. Tallie had hurt him, and she was only a little sorry about it.

“Joel, I’m not arguing with you here like this. I need to move on.” She put her hands out toward him, pushed that energy back. He could keep it. She wasn’t his wife anymore; he was no longer her problem.

“Yeah…you need to move on, but you still log in to my Facebook account. Aha. Understood,” he said. His tone, their fights, the way he stayed ready to jump in with full force—all of it rushed at her and would’ve knocked her down had she not been sitting.

“You were perfectly fine taking the time to email me, Joel, when you could’ve been hanging out with your wife and baby,” Tallie said.

“Oh, wow. Are you accusing me of being neglectful?”

“Think about it. Do you really want to ask me that question?”

“Are you accusing me of being inappropriate? There was nothing inappropriate in those emails,” Joel said.

“I’m not accusing you of anything anymore, Joel. We’re well past that.”

“Good, because you and your boyfriend—”

“Look, quit it. I don’t know how serious it is. I still see Nico sometimes, too. Wait. This is none of your business! Why am I telling you these things?” she said, feeling wildly protective of Nico. She sure as hell didn’t want to talk to Joel about Nico. Nico was hers, and she didn’t want Joel attempting to darken any part of him in her heart.

“Imagine that. Nicodemus Tate. Well, that’s where you wanted to be all along, right? Good for you, coming full circle,” Joel said, frowning and nodding.

“Oh, fuck off, Joel. You had your midlife crisis, and now you have your baby, so give it a rest! You have no right—”

“I just didn’t think you’d accuse me of being inappropriate when you’re sleeping with one of your patients, because that’s highly inappropriate, not to mention you’re ruining your career,” Joel spat out. Tallie was looking down.

And when she looked up, Rye was standing there with the word patients hovering above him before it froze him where he stood. A whirling riot of honesty stole her breath.





RYE




Patients?

“Yep. Right. I’m one of her patients,” Rye said, glaring at her before turning to Joel, who looked away. “And as one of your patients, Tallie, would you please come with me to get my stuff from your car? Because I’m leaving. I have to go.”

Goodbye; I’m going to the fucking moon!

“Rye,” she said as he walked toward the stairwell doors. He stood at the end of the hallway looking out the window, listening. He was all exposed nerves, like his superpowers had just come in.

(The thermostat is set to exactly seventy-four degrees in this hospital. A siren, slowly getting closer. Squeaking sneakers, high heels. A rolling cart. A man down the hallway clears his throat. Pen on paper. A crying baby. A chair makes a shrieking scrape against the floor. Tallie and Joel are talking. Everyone is always. Fucking. Talking.)

“I have to take care of this. Are you staying here?” she said to Joel.