The Contradiction of Solitude(89)

I nodded again, my smile ever so slight. Just enough to give him what he wanted and what I knew would make him talk to me again.

“Okay then. I’ll see you later,” Josh said, his promise making me giddy.

I watched him leave.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Layna. Her smiles were rare but special. Her words were given only when they mattered.

She made sure to show you only what she wanted you to see.

She lured you in with her painful past and her even more complicated heart.

And when you loved her, you loved her with everything you had. Until you were broken and ruined. Nothing left.

Because that’s what she wanted.

All along.

She fought battles no one else could see. The dangerous kind. The kind that left marks and drew blood.

But Layna wasn’t sad. Long ago, she had forsaken shame. Trust. Guilt.

Love.

Now all that was left was a beautiful hunter. Soothing you with her coal black eyes and empty, empty soul.

Don’t be upset that you didn’t see how the tale would end. She wanted it that way.

Don’t feel betrayed because you thought she was different.

You were fooled by an illusion.

Because Layna was the girl who wrote the stories.

She was the girl who owned the stars…

I chewed the last of my seasoned fries and opened my book. My father’s writing catching my eye.

I turned the page and started…all over again.

The end was my new beginning.



“Time passes, and little by little everything that we have spoken in falsehood becomes true.”

-Swann’s Way-Marcel Proust





This book is something I’ve wanted to write for a very long time. It was me breaking out of the box. Going with my gut. And most importantly writing what I wanted to.

So first and foremost, thank you to the readers who gave this book a chance. You may hate it. You may love it. But most importantly I hope you felt it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all I really wanted.

Ian, super husband, brain storming partner, taker of all the bullshit. This idea was your brainchild. You sat with me and hammered out the details. And most importantly you told me to write it how I thought it should be written. No holding back. Taking this story by the proverbial balls. And that’s what I did. Thank you for supporting this and every story.

To my super, awesome sparkly daughter. You kept me company many days while I wrote. And you created your own amazing stories. These are all for you. And one day you can actually read them (not for many, many years yet though).

To my Bad Ass CPs-Amy, Tonya, Brittainy, Claire, Kelsie, and Stacey. You told me to write what I wanted. And when I said, “I want to kill them all” you said, “Hell yeah!” You are the best critique partners, friends, overall fabulous women, that I have ever had the privilege to know. Thank you for always being a sounding board.

Kristy-you fantastic lady you-not only are you my PA (my right hand, the person I seriously couldn’t function without) but you are an amazing friend. You read this book and said “Holy F**K!” and that gave me all the warm fuzzies I needed to continue on.

Danielle-thanks for your patience and not screaming at me when I said, “you know what, I don’t want to market this book at all.” (Though I think I may have seen an Exorcist head spin from across the pond). Your support is awesome!

And to the bloggers, readers, and super awesome author friends, I wouldn’t be here without you. You make IT ALL worth it!

Finally, don’t be scared to go against the grain. Even though Layna and Elian’s story was messed up, it’s a journey I wanted to take. Thank you for taking it with me.





A.Meredith Walters is the New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author of the Bad Rep, Find You in the Dark, and Reclaiming the Sand series. She has also written Lead Me Not and the upcoming Follow Me Back in the Twisted Love series for Gallery Books to be released in June, 2015. Her upcoming book, Butterfly Dreams, will be published with Loveswept and will be released in November, 2015.

Before becoming a full-time writer, she worked as a counselor for troubled and abused children and teens. The Virginia native currently lives in England with her husband and daughter.