Select (Select #1)(50)

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” I couldn’t believe I had said the word mother out loud and lightning hadn’t struck. But John wouldn’t know I’d just broken yet another cardinal rule by mentioning the past. I needed a minute to recover. “Can I get a glass of water?”

“Absolutely. Sorry, I forgot to offer.” He had incredible manners. John left and came back with a bottle of water. He closed the door and passed it to me as he sat down again. Our hands touched and I dropped the bottle. We both bent over to catch it—our reflexes equally quick.

I had the feeling he was backing down from his questioning and in the next few minutes I’d know the fallout from his reaction. I realized how much I didn’t want to lose him and how ridiculous that was. Of course I would lose him. I had always felt superior, but now, looking at it from his perspective, I saw myself as a freak.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I continued. “I’ll stay out of your life, although I couldn’t help myself tonight when I thought you might be burning up. I know you won’t ever say anything to anyone about me. I trust you. But please forget what I told you. I’m not sure why I told you all of this, except you already seemed to know.”

“That is the stupidest thing—I’m not going to forget it. And I don’t want you to stay out of my life.” My heart suddenly flipped over.

“What are we going to do, John? Be a couple?” The room got really quiet. Maybe I’d read him wrong. “I’ll go find my jeans,” I said, standing up. Hopefully what I’d said came out as sarcastic and demeaning instead of something, shockingly, that I felt. I was such an idiot.

“No.” John was off the bed and grabbing my hand. A current went up my arm and I turned back to face him. We stood there, holding hands for the second time tonight. I couldn’t let go. Like he was afraid I’d bolt if he moved too quickly, John came closer until I had to look up. The smallest details came into focus—a small rip in the shoulder of his Τ-shirt, a thin scar near the corner of his eye. I looked away for a second, away from his liquid eyes that were asking me if I wanted this. I couldn’t deny that I was going crazy with joy that he did, in spite of what he knew.

We stared at each other, my heart racing. Then the air shifted from tentative to loaded with overwhelming energy. John’s eyes narrowed and he bent his head toward mine.

His fingers slid into the hair at the nape of my neck, and his other hand held my back, gently pulling me to him. I didn’t care what I was supposed to do or what I was supposed to want or not want. It was so wrong, which of course made it feel so good.

Both of us leaned in, and his lips touched mine softly. Even though it had only been days since the kiss at school, it felt like this had taken forever.

His arm snaked around my waist backing me up a few steps until I was against his bedroom door. Any kind of softness disappeared fast. John kissed me hard. The very natural and sensual way he moved his hands and lips made it clear he had a lot of experience. It took me a second to adapt to how he was kissing and how his lips were moving, but then I picked it up.

We were breathing hard and didn’t stop. My shoulders were flattened against the door. I ran one of my hands through his hair and rested the other on his chest. His hands moved to my hips, and I stood on tiptoe to get closer, which made his shirt that I was wearing rise up.

Eventually it was John who began to back off. I was glad he knew it was time to slow down. His beautiful, soft lips went from ravaging mine to being more business-like. I could tell exactly when his mind became aware of our surroundings. He pulled away and took a ragged breath, which made me smile. He kissed my cheek before taking a big step back.

Then he stared at me, to the point that I asked, “What?”

“Nothing. I…” John looked confused at my instant lucidity, like he hadn’t quite caught up yet. He cleared his throat. “I…was looking at you.”

“I know.”

“I…People must tell you all the time that you’re beautiful.”

What? I didn’t say anything. I watched John, and this same person who had just masterminded the most blatantly sexual kiss ever actually blushed.

“I don’t want to be just another person telling you how beautiful you are and you being bored by it.”

Oh. “It’s not boring coming from you.”

John smiled. I loved seeing his smile reach his eyes. The combination of his politeness with how hot that kiss was pretty much blew my mind.

“You’re okay with this?” I didn’t know how else to ask.

“I think I’ve had the chance to adjust to most of it over time. It’s definitely weird. But you’re still you.”

I couldn’t believe he’d said that and he knew almost everything.

“But one thing,” he said, very seriously.

“What?” I asked, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

“Don’t ever use your skills or whatever they are on me again. I don’t like it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes.” Dammit.

John had bent his head to kiss me again when a knock vibrated through the door right behind my head.

“Mom and Dad just pulled in!”

“What?” John moved me unceremoniously to the side and opened the door. He walked into the hallway and must have sensed that his brother was right.