Select (Select #1)(35)
“Let me rephrase that,” I said. “You’re not doing anything new?”
“No.” He shifted. I couldn’t resist, but Angus could? He was far too competitive with me to let it go.
“Yeah, right, Angus. I know you too well. All you want is to be recognized as one of a kind.”
“We have a good thing going on. Why would I want to lose it over using this strength I seem to have? Especially when lying low for now is the one consistent thing I’ve been asked to do.” Angus looked in the direction of the boys behind him, wanting to get back to them. “Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to end up at that school. And there is no fucking way I’m living away from my own kind. You need to get out of here before it gets back to your dad. It could get us all in trouble.”
“So if you don’t use it and it never comes back, you’re fine with that? You’re okay with being mediocre?” I knew I could get him with that.
“I’m not mediocre.” Angus’s nostrils flared.
“Tell that to my dad.”
I began to walk away, but not before he got in his parting blow. “Julia!” I turned back to him. “I can’t see you anymore,” Angus said. Then, lackadaisically, like he hadn’t a care in the world, he walked back to the boys.
I made it down the rocky trail and back to the parking lot before I lost it.
Angus didn’t matter. I had to remind myself that only Novak mattered. I just had to weather this until he let me back in. And then I would make sure I never forgot who had prematurely written me off.
Not knowing where else to go, I drove back to school. Fifteen minutes later I was walking to class. I passed a trash can swarming with flies, and it couldn’t have smelled worse. Graffiti was all over lockers that no one seemed to use. A total hellhole. How had this become my life? Did I really have nowhere better to be than this godforsaken school?
“Hi.” I looked up at the passing voice and saw John walking in the opposite direction. I turned my head, looking at him over my shoulder, and he did the same. Unwittingly we both smiled.
Sad that a smile from the boy I was using was the best part of my day.
He thought I was sexy and beautiful. That was the first thing I knew John thought when we had our initial encounter at Barton Springs. It was strange knowing what someone thought. It began to feel wrong. Especially since I was growing to actually like him, in spite of myself. I didn’t know anyone from our group who would admit to feeling fond of an outsider.
He was like a radio frequency, and his thoughts were now a constant stream playing in the back of my head. The more I listened to him, the more impressed and surprised I was. He had a fascinating mind. I highly doubted anyone would still like me if they knew the inner workings of my mind.
He was funny, although that could get annoying. For instance, he wouldn’t stop rhyming the name Regina with the word vagina. Every time he saw Regina in class, same thing. So I chose when to focus and when to tune out, depending on when it became interesting. Typically that was when it had something to do with me.
I would hear him in class, thinking about me. Thankfully he’d decided our differences had to do with my family’s limited exposure to the real world. Other than that, I was the same as him in all the ways that mattered. Besides, anyone searching the internet could read about strange things that occurred in emergency situations. I had to constantly be on guard, making sure I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, but he no longer watched me closely to see if I was a strange phenomenon. Now he watched me because he liked me.
When our English class was hijacked so we could discuss college applications, the class gathered in a counselor’s room. I sat down at a table, John taking the seat next to me. Midway through the lecture, he shifted and stretched out his legs. The side of one leg was suddenly against mine. He was wearing jeans, so I wasn’t sure he knew. I tried to read his mind, but I couldn’t focus—I was too aware of him and wrapped up in the fact that we were touching. I let it happen, sitting with it for a full twenty minutes.
For a couple of days after that, I backed off, wanting to discourage his attention. He quickly got the message and looked the other way. But I found I missed it when it stopped. I began talking to him again. I was aware of how, when I’d sit low in my seat, he would always look at my legs. It was harmless and one-sided and definitely made English class less boring. In one of my few interactions with Victoria, she commented that my shorts seemed to be getting shorter.
The overall dread I’d picked up from John was decreasing. His parents watched him with eagle eyes, wondering how his every move was affecting his future. This weighed on him, but it was like he’d already quit trying, believing he would inevitably disappoint them.
I felt accountable for his bad fortune to some extent. I was directly responsible for his being arrested, not to mention his shoulder getting reinjured, which put potential scholarships at stake. No wonder he was freezing up. I got it. I was in the same position. We were both stumbling at the moment when it mattered most.
My priority was getting back to the group, but I did want to see where this skill was going. It was in the back of my mind that if my ability was special, it could earn me some long-awaited respect from the group. At the very least I needed the distraction and it would keep me from falling too far behind Liv, George, Emma….And, honestly, how could Novak catch me reading someone’s mind?