Redemption(39)

Both men looked skeptical, but Dan spoke first. “That all sounds overly simplistic. Did either of you ask about statistics of success rates? How many tries it normally takes to get a viable pregnancy?”

Annie rolled her eyes, but he kept talking.

“The two of you seem to think this is a day at the mall. There’s a lot at stake here. Don’t be so casual about it all.”

Brett laughed at his best friend chastising the two of us. Annie and I both gawked at him like he had three heads.

“Dan, no one is taking this lightly. Annie and I were there for hours today, and it was information overload. Ease up a bit. She’s just giving you the highlights.” I knew what the look he shot me meant. He wanted this to be successful, but he’d become protective in a way he hadn’t expected. He wanted his friends to have the child they wanted, but my safety was his top priority.

Annie had asked all the questions none of us wanted answers to. She wanted to be prepared and not disappointed. If they really wanted the down and dirty, Annie could deliver the bitter truth. Her eyes were wide open, and while she was excited, she was entering into this with a guarded heart, so she didn’t have another dream shattered. If only I could reassure her how confident I was this would work, and why. But, I couldn’t give her that peace of mind, I had to allow her to reach the conclusion on her own.

“With all women, our ages play a huge factor in the success. We’re both still under that magic thirty-five mark, so that’s a big plus, but there’s only about a forty-six percent chance the IVF will result in a viable pregnancy. That’s where the multiple embryos come into play. The more fertilized eggs implanted, the higher the chance of one making it.” Annie would unload the statistics Dan had asked for if someone didn’t stop her. She’d taken notes during the visit and could likely teach other parents considering IVF on the process at this point.

“Okay, so let’s say we implant three and all three stick, then what? We have triplets? We have a selective termination?” Brett’s question was valid, but one I knew Dan wouldn’t like the answer to.

Dan hadn’t contemplated these possibilities. I knew how he felt about abortion, which was why he’d had the vasectomy. Their response on how to handle that situation might put a kibosh on the whole thing. That could be a deal breaker for Dan.

Annie looked each person in the room dead in the eye. She wasn’t taking this lightly, or the fact that there were four adults involved here, not just two. While what she and Brett wanted was a huge consideration, it remained my body, and I’d have to agree to termination—but the paperwork I’d signed, said I didn’t own them. This was where things got dicey. I couldn’t accept terminating a viable life in favor of bringing another into the world, it defeated the point of what I was doing. But I knew, Annie wouldn’t give up triplets, and I’d never ask her to. “I think that’s a decision the four of us would have to make together.”

I had been relatively quiet through the discussion. I’d wanted to watch Dan and Brett’s responses to Annie, to gauge where they were in all of this. But the turmoil in Dan’s eyes worried me, and I had to set his fears to rest. I finally laid my hand on Dan’s forearm and stroked my thumb on his skin in quiet comfort. “Annie and I have talked a lot about this before today. We think we should try three embryos.”

Brett gawked at me with a look of disbelief, clearly not registering what I’d said, or not believing I’d said it. “You’re going to carry triplets? Do you know what that will do to your body?”

I knew what he was doing. He was asking the questions that would make me regret my decisions down the road when I couldn’t change them. He didn’t want me to go in blind, but he had no idea how focused I truly was.

Annie and I laughed together. Dan was still perplexed, or maybe he was second-guessing how erotic pregnancy might actually be.

“Yes, Brett, I do. But I also know, this is a one-time thing for you guys, and I want to give you the best shot at the family you want. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to get Annie to consider a second pregnancy, and hell, after the first, I may not want to do one.”

Annie would never let me do this again, and I wasn’t sure at the expense they’d even be able to afford it if I could talk her into it. They were covering all the medical expenses, any lost time from work, my medical leave, all of my pregnancy needs like maternity clothing, not to mention their own costs. They also had legal expenses to consider. But there was no doubt in my mind—this was a one-time thing for them.

The four of us sat around eating chicken parmesan and salads without the accompaniment of wine. They’d all agreed if I couldn’t drink while I was pregnant, none of them would. At the end of the meal, we’d reached a consensus of three eggs if it was possible, and I sent up a silent prayer thanking a God I hadn’t talked to in ages for using me to help them. I asked Him to deliver my friends a boy, but when it came down to it, I didn’t care as long as the baby was healthy. I refused to believe this would be anything but successful. I glanced around the table at my unconventional family of friends. Dan had his arm around the back of my chair talking sports with Brett, and Annie was discussing all things baby. I smiled at the right times and offered an occasional verbal response, but I was so caught up in all the love gathered in one place that none of the words mattered. We’d all bonded, and this would forever tie us. This baby would be my redemption.