Redemption(38)
“Yeah, but it will have to be on campus. I have class in less than an hour.” I locked my computer, and we walked out the door. “Have you read the paperwork?”
“It’s pretty straightforward. It outlines what they plan to pay for and of course custody of the embryos and then baby. I didn’t see anything in it that would even raise an eyebrow. I actually thought it was relatively short for detailing how life would enter the world.”
“Are you still good with me doing this?” I stopped on the sidewalk to really study his face. “I need to know this isn’t going to hurt us.” My hand came to my forehead to shield my eyes from the sun and be able to see him clearly.
“Yeah, Penny. I’m good with this.”
“You’re not going to freak out when someone makes a backhanded comment about your girlfriend carrying someone else’s child?”
“I might pummel them, but it won’t affect us. I promise, Lissa. I’m good with this. But you still need to have a lawyer look it over before you sign it. I love Brett and Annie, but I want to make sure you’re protected in this, too.”
It would be so much easier if he knew why this was so important—if he understood it was my way of giving back to the universe the life I’d stolen. Then he would know why the logistics, the verbiage, none of it mattered. The game of life had dealt me back in, and there was no guarantee I’d get to play another round. I was all in.
After lunch, I assured Dan I would go over the documents with an attorney, but figured a teacher who taught law classes was close enough. I knew I couldn’t race the documents back to the Ryann’s attorney without suspicion, so after getting the green light from across campus, I sat on them until the following afternoon. Once I was out of class and had taken care of everything I needed to do, I dropped off the paperwork, signed and notarized. The receptionist assured me they would notify the Ryanns the documents had been returned, but I called Annie to let her know just in case they didn’t get to it until tomorrow.
I wasn’t surprised by her tears or her gratitude. She didn’t think she was worthy of my gesture, and she didn’t understand she was saving me by allowing me to make it. She’d come clean about her history, all the brutal facts and ugly memories, the night we’d gone back to their house after I offered to carry her child in the middle of a pizza restaurant. I knew the significance this baby would hold for her, but she’d never know why I’d needed to do it or that she just might have saved my soul in the process.
That one phone call changed my life for the following year. I knew it when I made it. The moment I walked into their lawyer’s office, I knew I was sealing my fate. I hadn’t felt lighter in years, certainly not since Joshua. For the first time, I smiled at the thought of his name and hoped he knew years later I was still trying to atone for my sins. I’d never forgive myself, but I hoped he had been able to. By the grace of God, I had the chance at a surrogate family of sorts with Brett and Annie, and I was desperate to hold on to it.
Two days later, the three of us stood in Annie’s kitchen waiting for Brett to come home. Somehow Dan had escaped 3 Tier before his partner in crime, but we’d agreed information would be shared at the same time, so everyone heard the same things. When Annie’s husband finally strolled through the door, we were both about to burst with the excitement of all we’d learned today and the fact we’d done it together. I was an only child, but I imagined this was what having a sister would be like.
Annie and I glanced at each other, but I gave her the go ahead to tell them her news. She was filled with energy spilling over as she bounced around the room. Her smile glowed, and I’d never seen her so overjoyed.
“Lissa had a full check-up done, and they put her on progesterone injections and estrogen replacements. Since she was on birth control already, they are having her continue that for the time being to ensure a regulated cycle.”
I was grateful she hadn’t delved into the specifics of my monthly flow, but by the time this was over, everyone in this room will have seen my vagina, and my menstrual cycle will be the least of my embarrassment. Annie and I had undergone full medical disclosures, at least as far as they knew. There were things I’d left out. If they knew about the hospitalization in Austin, there would be questions that followed. It wasn’t related to my health, so I hadn’t revealed it. All four of us had to be tested for STDs and everything else under the sun. Annie and Brett because it was their fertilized egg, me because I would carry it, and Dan because he was sleeping with me, who would carry their fertilized egg.
“She will go through a mock cycle to make sure her uterine lining is ready for the egg. Then a trial transfer to determine where the embryos will be placed. Our bodies have already naturally synched to the same cycle. About two weeks in, we both start Lupron to stop our bodies natural hormone production and give the embryos the best chance for survival.”
“You keep saying embryos as in plural. Are we trying for multiples?” I knew Annie and Brett hadn’t talked about twins, but Annie and I agreed it made more sense. The price tag on these procedures equated to a new car, and if they wanted a big family, this was a way to get it without doubling the cost, the time, or the heartache of a failed attempt.
“Shush. We’ll come back to that. Anyway, once our periods start, they change the medications for both of us, for me to help produce the eggs, for Lissa to help sustain the pregnancy. Thirty-six hours after Lissa starts the HCG, I’ll have the egg retrieval done, you’ll need to donate sperm, and they do the fertilization and then incubation. Then the doctor does the implant.”