Real Men Knit(82)

It was fine, she told herself. She had been doing the same to him. And what else could she expect now that things were all coming to a head after tonight and his overhearing what Gabriel had said? At least she thought he’d heard. Kerry gave herself a mental shake. Who was she fooling? Of course he’d heard, and now she knew she needed to tell him about the job offer. She let out a long breath. The job was a perfect opportunity for her. Full-time art specialist for their new satellite school division. They would work in conjunction with the local public school year-round, and with this she’d no longer have as many financial worries; she could still work with the kids in the community and be close to home.

The other big bonus was she’d be working directly under Val, who’d been promoted to assistant department program director. A job she was meant to do. It was terrible to say—okay, not terrible, but honest. Shit, Val was perfect for that job, and Ali could kick rocks. Let her pull her weight for once with her new assignment as Linda’s assistant, something far more fitting to her skill set. It was all good. Really good. So why was Kerry holding back?

“Why are you keeping secrets?” Jesse finally said, his voice a low rumble at her back.

Damn him.

“When will you ever not be in my head?” she replied.

“When you finally get out of my heart, so that will be never.”

Kerry snorted, trying to shake off his easily said words, but she knew the true gravity of them. The question was, did he know? The image of Erika sidling up to Jesse came to her mind. The smooth way she’d touched his arm earlier, like he was hers. There would always be an Erika in Jesse’s life. It was inevitable with him. Just as it had always been. What they had couldn’t go on for much longer, and she knew it. She’d seen the end of too many of his relationships, and her time was clearly running out.

Seemed it was the same for Kerry as it had been for her mother and all her bad men, and now bad women. Earlier that day, she’d spoken to her mom, who’d called for yet another role-reversal talk session and cried to her about love on the rocks. It seemed her track record for being a terrible picker would still stand undefeated, gender be damned. Kerry had had it. She had seen so many failed relationships through her mother’s eyes, some much worse than others. The far worse ones, full of tears and intimidation, were what sent her out of the house and to Strong Knits in the first place. Her mother was and always would be one for an all-in kind of love. Kerry knew she had that tendency in her blood and had to fight with all her might against it. Thankfully, though it would temporarily hurt like hell, it was probably right on time for saving her heart in the long run. She’d also gotten another call. Her apartment was done. The necessary repairs were made on her building and she could go back to her place at any time.

No more living out of a suitcase. No more infringing on the Strong brothers’ private space, and no more falling asleep and waking up in Jesse’s warm and, to her, perfect arms. The days and nights of her temporary fantasy were coming to an end.

“So, when are you going to tell me?” Jesse said.

Kerry froze. Tell him. She didn’t want to tell him. Not yet. Though she knew it was silly and immature because he probably already knew, telling him would make it real. Make it final. Still he asked. Why did he have to go and ask?

“Tell you what?” Kerry’s voice felt thick in her throat. She turned around and looked into Jesse’s beautiful, mossy eyes, hoping at that moment that she’d never forget the view. Him above her. Looking at her like she was truly his one and only. Forever.

Kerry swallowed, then finally spoke. “I’m leaving.”

Jesse was silent as he only continued to look at her, giving away nothing, his eyes barely even flickering.

“My apartment is ready,” she said, then fought to make her voice lighter and brighter. “And I’ve been given a great opportunity at the center. They finally offered me a full-time job as a teacher and counselor there.”

Finally, his expression changed. Kerry watched as his pupils sharpened and the green in his eyes darkened with shades of a deeper evergreen. “They, or him?”

Kerry stiffened. “What do you mean ‘him’?”

“There is nothing to mean,” he said. She could already feel him emotionally pulling away, and the pain was almost physical. “Forget I said it,” he said, then leaned down and kissed her. “I’m happy for you. This is what you wanted. Things are lining up. It’s great.”

He kissed her again, taking the kiss deeper and then lower to trail down her neck. He looked back up at her. “So, your place is ready, huh?” Jesse let out a long sigh. “I can’t pretend to be happy about that, but then again, you do snore like crazy,” he joked as he playfully smacked her on her thigh.

She was used to his joking, but this felt different. This wasn’t Jesse playing with Kerry, his old friend and now lover, but Jesse being Jesse, dropping a line to any other woman. His hand roamed from her thigh to her belly and up to her breast. He ran his thumb across her nipple in that way he’d learned, oh so quickly, she’d liked, and against her mind, her body responded.

He smiled. “Snoring aside, since you’ll be leaving me soon, I might as well do my best,” he said, “to make you sleep well while I still have you. As deep and peacefully as possible.”

She quirked a brow. “And how do you plan on ensuring that? You got a Breathe Right strip in your pocket or something?”