Real Men Knit(81)
But she was right. Even if he wanted her to be wrong.
He’d already found out from Lucas that the end was getting way too near and that the repairs on her building were perilously close to being done. Kerry could get a call about her apartment being ready at any time. There was nothing and no one holding her here.
So when she opened up and let him back in, if not emotionally then physically, Jesse took what he could and just went with it. He’d have her this way if it was the only way he could have her at all.
Besides, he should be happy. It was the best of both worlds. Soon he’d have his bed back, his house back, his old life back. Only he didn’t want any of it. What he wanted was her. Fuck if what he had always wanted wasn’t her.
25
With the successful turnout for their after-work Knit and Sip event that she’d coordinated, once again Kerry should have been over the moon. But he could see she wasn’t. She was going through the motions.
Albeit heavy on the women, save three guys, the Knit and Sip was a hit. Folks showed up to knit, mingle and get their drink on. Too bad it was a disaster for Kerry and Jesse. It was a roller coaster of emotions for many. His boy Craig showed up and got shot down by Val, who, it seemed, had a “one strike and you’re out” policy. But Ziggy seemed happy with the scene and deemed it chiller than the club, and with better odds.
Jesse would have been cool with the male count stopping there, but that damned single dad from Kerry’s job showed up. He claimed he wanted to learn to knit for his daughter, but the way he kept looking at Kerry and asking a million and three questions had Jesse thinking differently.
Still, he couldn’t be mad. Not with the turnout. It was pretty good. Kerry’s marketing, for what it was worth, was fantastic. Her idea of putting pics of him and his brothers in various suggestive poses with the yarns and marketing through Instagram was genius.
Jesse watched Kerry mingle with the women, expertly giving advice as she served the fruity sangria they had whipped up along with the cookies she’d stayed up making the night before. He realized this was a sight he could happily and easily get used to. It felt right.
She didn’t even seem fazed over the fact that, once again, Erika showed up. Which gave him no small amount of apprehension. If she no longer cared, then was she really and truly ready to move on?
Jesse was ready for a certain amount of tension and the night to be ruined, but instead, Kerry just looked at him and smiled as she took Erika’s money and contact info, then handed her a skein of yarn, a pair of needles and a glass of sangria in exchange for her thirty-five-dollar entry fee. The only thing that even slightly gave away that she may have been bothered was the fact that she pulled up a chair for Erika between Sister Purnell and Ms. Cherry, creating quite a tight little sandwich.
It was a reach, but it gave him hope.
The mood lifted easily enough once again when Lucas came in, though he and his brother were still slightly tight lipped over him and Kerry. And who could blame Lucas? As he had predicted, Jesse was totally messing it up. Still, after the successful launch, all his brothers were lightening up a bit and putting business first. He had to thank Lucas for coming through tonight. One look at the hot firefighter who started to demo arm knitting and the women were practically throwing money at them for skeins of heavy-weight chunky wool.
Lucas gave Jesse a wink across the room and he laughed at the same time that Erika walked over to him. “You know I would pay extra for a private if you could teach me that arm knitting, Jes.”
He looked over at her, careful to keep his expression neutral. Erika licked her lips provocatively.
“Thanks, but I don’t do privates,” he said, and started to walk forward. “We do have a schedule up front that shows all our group lessons.”
Then he paused. Kerry was showing Fake Blair a technique, and he put his hand over hers and ran his thumb across the back of her index finger. Her index finger! Jesse took another step forward. He wanted to kill that motherfucker.
A hand on his chest stopped him, along with a low voice in his ear. “Not here. This is not the time or the place,” Lucas said.
He turned and looked into his brother’s dark eyes; they were full of warmth and understanding and also caution. Lucas was right. Jesse nodded and let out a breath.
He turned back to Erika as the rest of the room came back into focus. Grabbing a blue schedule sheet, he handed it to Erika. “Here you go,” he said, deadpan. “All our group classes are listed here.”
Jesse snatched up a bunch more schedules then and placed them on the table. He put them in various spots, finally coming around to place some between Kerry and Fake Blair, and that was when he heard it. “I think you’ll be a great addition,” Fake Blair said. “Please let me know your decision soon. It’s time things change, and having you on the team is just what we need.”
Jesse froze as he looked from Fake Blair to Kerry. He dropped the flyers and moved on. “Sister Purnell,” he said, “you want a personal arm knitting demo? Stand up and let’s get close so I can show you how it’s done.”
* * *
That night Kerry tried to snuggle up against Jesse’s smooth and hard planes. And though he pulled her in close to him, her naked back to his chest, she could feel him emotionally pushing her away. It was as if she could almost see the little one-inch invisible space between them filled with all their fear and self-doubt. That small space that might as well have been a full mile.