One Last Time(69)

“Hey.” Her voice is low and sleepy.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart.”

She fell asleep about an hour ago, but I’ve been staring at the ceiling. My mind has been going in circles, working out how I feel. Talking about Tanya isn’t something I do, but I knew it was time to tell Kristin about it.

“I need you to stay a little longer,” she tells me through a yawn.

I need a lot of things, but we both know I can’t be here in the morning. “Just close your eyes,” I encourage her.

She listens as if she really didn’t have a choice. We’re both spent. Between the day she had and then my unloading all my fucked-up baggage, I don’t know how I’m awake. After twenty years of trying to forget the way her eyes looked, how she screamed my name as she fell, and the way it was to hold her as I searched for help, I’m not sure sleep is ever coming again.

I talked to my mother two days ago about whether I should tell Kristin. She was the one to tell me I had to and I needed to do it before either of us fell any deeper.

“Noah.” Kristin sighs, and her hand moves to my chest.

I smile at the fact that she dreams of me. I adjust her a little when my arm starts to go numb, and she hooks her leg under my calf. She’s a clinger when she sleeps. Her entire body is touching me in some way.

Her dark brown hair covers her face, so I push it back to see the curves of her cheek and jaw. She’s beautiful, and I don’t know how the hell I got so lucky. Finding Kristin was . . . unexpected.

As my fingers touch the soft skin, I tell her more that I didn’t say before. “I’m not sure how I’m going to leave in a few days. It’s been months since the show ended, and I need to get back to work, but I keep postponing. You’ve done something to me. You’ve given me back this . . . part of my heart I threw away. You have no idea how much it’s going to kill me to go.” I damn near break.

The thought of getting on that plane sends a stabbing pain in my stomach. She worries that I won’t want her when I’m right here, telling her daily, and I worry she’ll find an excuse to end it.

I close my eyes and let out a deep breath through my nose.

There’s no way I’m going to lose her, I just need to figure out a plan.

I tell myself to get out of bed and leave, but I want to hold her for a few more minutes. I would hold her forever if she’d let me.



“Mommy!” A bang causes me to pry my eyes open. “Mommy! Why is the door not opening?” Aubrey’s voice sounds muffled.

Fuck. I passed out and spent the night.

“Kris.” I shake Kristin a little, and she bolts upright.

“Huh? What?”

“Aubrey,” I whisper and point to the door.

“Mommy! I’m hungry, and Finn won’t get the milk. Are you in there?” Her little fingers poke through the gap on the floor.

Kristin’s eyes are wide as she scans the room with panic. “Shit.” She hisses as she covers her face. “Shit, shit, shit.”

I look over at the clock and curse myself. It’s almost seven in the morning. I knew better than to fall asleep.

She puts her hand over my mouth, even though I wasn’t going to say anything, and clears her throat. “I’ll be right out, baby. I’m getting dressed.”

“Are you sleeping?” she asks.

“I’m awake now,” Kristin replies. “Go in the kitchen, and I’ll be right there.”

Kris jumps out of bed, and I admire the view. Her see-through lace bra lets me see every inch of her perfect breasts, and the thong she’s wearing is sexy as fuck. I sit up a bit more, propping myself in the right position.

“Noah, what are you doing?” she whispers loudly as she covers her gorgeous ass with a pair of pants.

“What?” I smirk.

“Get up,” she instructs. “You can’t be here right now. How am I ever going to explain this?”

I love when she gets flustered. It’s when her guard is down and she isn’t worried about what flies out of her mouth.

“Relax, sweetheart.”

She stands straight, glares at me, and then goes back to digging through her clothes. “Relax? Right. Oh, I know,” she rambles on, “Mommy had a naughty sleepover, kids, ignore the big man sneaking out.” I chuckle, which earns me another look of death. “You weren’t supposed to stay the night.”

I know this much, but I am here, and I can’t exactly do anything now. “I swear, you were just so comfortable, and I needed to be with you. I didn’t mean to stay.”

That seems to stun her a little. “Don’t be all sweet when I’m supposed to be mad at you. You need to get up.”

“And go where?”

She throws a sweatshirt on and shakes her hands. “I don’t know. Why do you have to be so freaking hot that I forget that I’m an adult? Couldn’t you be . . . anything bad?” Kristin chucks my shirt at me, hitting me in the face. “I’m a responsible mother one day, and then you come along, and I’m dropping my panties like a stripper.”

“A very hot stripper with gorgeous tits and—”

Kristin glares at me, pointing her finger. “You are in big trouble.” Her voice drops low in an attempt to sound like me. “Sweetheart, I’ll just hold you until you fall asleep.” She shakes her head.