One Last Time(66)

He’s still in my bed with his arm behind his head and a smile on his lips.

“And?” he asks as I climb in next to him.

Noah’s arm wraps around me as I lie against his chest. “Both are sound asleep.”

“Good.”

My legs tangle with his, loving the way he lets me wrap myself around him like a vine. The closer we get, the more secure I feel. I have so many questions about what we’re doing, but I never know when to bring it up.

There are truths that aren’t going to go anywhere, no matter how hard we wish things were different. I live here, my kids live here, my life is in Tampa, but Noah’s isn’t. I’ve told myself this whole time it didn’t matter because I wasn’t going to fall for him.

That clearly didn’t work out.

It’s time we talk.

“Noah?” I run my finger across his chest. “When the feature is done next week, then what?”

He goes still, and I wish I could take the words back. Knowledge isn’t always power, sometimes, it hurts and is dangerous to your heart.

“Then we have to make a plan.”

Okay, plans aren’t bad. Unless it’s a plan to figure out a way to end this, then I would like a new architect working on this.

I lift my head. “Does that plan involve us being something other than the great friends we are now?”

He pushes the hair out of my eyes and smiles. “I think we’re more than friends, Kris.”

“Depends on what you think a friend is,” I counter.

“Do you let other friends touch you like this?”

I roll my eyes since he knows the answer to that. “I’m serious.”

“I am, too. My feelings for you are much stronger than just a friend. I think you know that.”

I hoped. I really hoped, but I didn’t know for sure. “Even after today?”

There’s no way to explain my embarrassment over the shit-show that unfolded this morning. I still can’t believe Noah witnessed all of that.

“Why do you think today changed anything?”

“Because you’re a famous actor who could get any girl you want with zero baggage. Instead, you pick me.” I shrug. “The drunk girl who falls in pools and has a crazy ex who is clearly an asshole. One of my kids spent an hour being a total shit, and the other one is obsessed with you. Let me know when I land on the part that screams to stick around.”

Noah shifts, rolling us so that we’re facing each other on our sides. “Do you think I don’t have a past? Do you think you’re the only one with things that make them less perfect?”

“I think I’m chock full of it.”

He huffs. “You’re not the only one who worries about the things in your life, Kristin. I worry you’re going to run.”

My throat goes dry at that statement. What is in his past that he thinks I’d run from? Whatever it is, if he thinks it’s worse than my baggage I’m not sure I would agree with him. “I don’t know what makes you think that.”

“My past isn’t perfect. My life hasn’t always been Noah Frazier the actor. I’ve worked very hard to keep my shit hidden.”

“Keep what hidden?”

Noah’s eyes fill with dread, and my stomach drops.

“I want to—” He stops speaking, sits up, and releases a heavy sigh.

“You can talk to me.” I place my hand on his arm.

His hand opens and closes as he battles whatever is raging inside him. “I want to,” Noah says. “I’m going to talk. There are things that we need to talk about.”

He’s scaring me a little, but at the same time, I want to be his safe place. Plus, my feelings for him have grown to the point that I couldn’t go back if I tried. Relationships aren’t easy, I know that, but he’s worth whatever effort I need to put in.

“Okay.” I sit up, pulling the sheet with me. “Whatever you have to tell me . . .”

His eyes meet mine, and his back straightens. “You’re what I want. You are everything that I want.”

“I want you, too.” I smile tentatively. I’m happy I’m what he wants, but I know that’s a prelude to what he has to say.

“I hope you still do after I tell you this.” Noah exhales and then begins. “I was born Joseph Noah Bowman. Most don’t know that because I legally changed my name to Noah Frazier, which is my mother’s maiden name. Growing up, everyone called me Noah because Joseph was my father’s name. I think it broke my mother’s heart to call me that name.”

My heart aches for him as he tells me that. I know a lot about his childhood, and I can’t imagine what it was like for him. It is a little strange that I’m in love with a man and I don’t know his actual name, but it makes sense why he changed it.

“So, you’ve sort of always been Noah anyway?” I ask.

“Yes, but I didn’t . . .” He stops and grips the back of his neck. “It wasn’t until after . . .”

I touch his cheek, hoping to give him a little encouragement. I’ve never seen him like this. Noah has been the driving force throughout the time I’ve known him. He’s pushed his way into my life and never backed down. He’s always been so self-assured and confident, and to see him shaken and unsure of himself has me scrambling for a way to reassure him.