Munmun(72)

I dressed myself, went out into the house looking for life, first awake person I found was Daisy. She was playing shootemups in the hometheater, upallnight, headphones to cancel sound.

“Daisy,” I said, she heard nothing.

Warner what are you doing, Daisy’s not going to help you.

Hue was already up with the weak sun for morningcardio, I ran in front of the hamstermachine, waved my arms frantically.

“Hue, help, I saw my friend in Dreamworld and he needs to be rescued,” I yelled as he chugged and puffed. “He was dizzy, dazed, not himself forsure, a squad tatted his head, I think I know who kidnapped him too, a faceboy mob led by the criminal mastermind Shoulderheads, we need to help.”

“Slowdown, hey, slow it down, your friend definitely told you he was kidnapped?” panted Hue, running with arms and legs in his hamsterwheel.

“Well no, but I mean he barely said anything, he wasn’t dreaming too good, I’m really worried about him, Hue, we have to do something,” I begged.

“Do you think it’s possible he might have been on drugs,” wondered Hue.

“No,” I said, “I mean probably no, I mean look it’s possible if maybe they’re forcing him, but nonono he was like me in kidjail, his dreams were all weak and flickery from stress, nerves, fears, it wasn’t drugs.”

“It’s Dreamworld, though, Warner,” said Hue, frowning at me, “you can’t trust the impressions you get from Dreamworld.”

We were quiet a second.

Warner what are you doing, Hue’s not going to help you either.

I felt sick, shaky, it was the Sand Dreamough cop alloveragain.

“Look, there’s no choice here, we have to help him,” I squeaked, losing control.

He stopped the wheel.

“Hey, Warner, shhh, take a deep breath,” said Hue. “You’ve done so much amazing work getting ready for the test today, it’s natural to feel nervous about it, but please, don’t let that nervousness undo all the work you’ve done.”

“I’m not nervous about the stupid test,” I yelled, “I promise you, the test is nothing to me, I’m only nervous about my friend who’s in trouble.”

He stood there, panting, nodding.

Then he picked me up.

He put his sweaty hands under my armpits, fingers locked around my back, thumbs pressing into my chest. He held my face to his and his breath was heavysweet.

“I’m going to tell you what you’re doing right now,” Hue spoke into my face. “It’s something that you don’t even know you’re doing. I’ve seen it so many times. It’s selfsabotage.”

I started to shake my head and talk, he jiggled my entire body a little.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m on your side. I want you to succeed. Stop, take a big deep breath, and just listen to me. I’ve seen this overandover, in poors who are trying to make better futures for themselves. You prepare and prepare, you train and train, you make your long difficult journey to the doorway, you do all that work and you finally arrive at the threshold. And there, at the decisive moment, you choose not to cross it. You choose to turn away.”

I was quiet but he still jiggled me a little more.

“I grew up poor, remember, I used to look around me and see other kids selfsabotage and wonder why, it just made no sense,” he said. “But it’s clear to me now. You turn away because you’re afraid of a better future, Warner. All your life you’ve been told you don’t deserve it, and you’ve taken that to heart without realizing. But it’s not true. You do deserve it. Now is the time to reject the part of yourself that doesn’t want success. Now is the time to shut everything else out, concentrate on you, concentrate on your future, and take the test.”

In his big pale eyes I saw the simple stupid truth.

“I will,” I promised him.

Stepped outside the house and called Markfive, woke up the druggy shagster, told him to pick me up right away.

“Warner, comeon dave, test’s not for another few hours,” he grogged.

“Markfive, I’ll be honest with you,” I said. “I’ve got some unfinished gangbusiness to take care of this morning.”

I heard him silently wake up.

“I’ll take the test, dontworry,” I reassured him. “But first I’ve got a score to settle, maybe you can be a part of it.”

“Nodoubt, nodoubt, I’ll be right there,” said firedup Markfive.

We did our standard drugsesh, sped first to Mun World and Eat Votech.

Firststep, enter Mun World without Markfive, he’s too big unfortunately, I jogged straight to Guns And Bombs.

“I need a gun and some bullets,” I told the salesfriend.

“Oh fantastic, which gun,” said the salesfriend, shrimpy and liddyeyed, pinkandblue skin glowing with the pale Mun World light.

“I guess that one,” I said, pointing to a random halfgun.

“Great choice, the Pocketpitbull is a standout allpurpose model for hunting, fishing, selfdefense, and militias, now let’s set you up with a backgroundcheck,” said the salesfriend.

“Hmm, how long will that take,” I asked.

“Twentyfour hours, just a formality, see if you’ve been in prison or anything,” said the salesfriend.