Munmun(76)

“You attacked us, dave,” he grimmed. “Shot a gun at Shoulderheads, then set off a bomb at the Sitadell. We can’t let you live.”

“I didn’t come to attack you, only came to rescue my friend,” I told him.

He shrugged, attacks are attacks.

“Okay, well here’s a better idea, guesswhat, dave, it’s your luckyday, you finally got Warner to join your faceboys,” I congratulated.

“Too late for that, Grumpyrat, you know it,” he said softly.

I breathed, crushed the shakiness inside myself.

“What if I tell you I’m not going inside the bank,” I asked.

“Yeah, everybody says that,” he said. “We do some medium torturing, see if they change their minds, if not, ohwell, torture to death usually.”

“Okay, here’s a bargain,” I bargained. “My scalemun for my freedom.”

“Nope,” Puppyneck told me.

“For Usher’s freedom atleast,” I begged.

“Pretty bad deal for us, dave,” he said.

I was quiet again, how do I get more time, what do I even do.

“My mom’s in Dockseye, can I atleast see her one last time,” I heard myself ask, not what I thought I’d say tobehonest.

Warner, do you sit in the cage on the way to Dockseye crushed under regrets of, Warner, ohmygod, you screwed this up so bad, so so bad, how did that happen, how did you forget what terrible things were possible, yes, yup, you do.

Do you think, You had a chance at a goodlife, a real chance sitting firm and safe in your hands and you opened the hands and let the chance drop like an idiot, now it’s smashed on the ground, your whole stupid life, your only chance, sure, how could you not.

You could have ignored poor Usher, atleast for one day, you could have taken Mathy Retrack like you were supposed to.

You didn’t have to try to rescue him alone, could have found some middleriches to save Usher instead, sure the one cop was a peen but other cops are surely fine, sure maybe it would have taken a few days but some middleriches truly want to help, Hue and Kitty took a chance on you afterall.

You could have waited, been patient, never risked yourself, done everything the middlerich way, plan and prepare, acquire and collect.

Fill your body with time, turn the hours into inches, days into killagrams. Lose your quickness, nimbleness, littleness.

Never lift heavy things, instead wait years and years to lift if you have to. Wait until you are huge and the things are puny.

Never fight anyone bigger than you, only fight the people you can crush. Only rescue Usher from faceboys when you can step through their roof.

That’s what you were in Hue House to learn, idiot, not math and not words. You were in Hue House and Hue Family to learn the secret patience of How To Be Rich.

But you didn’t learn it, now you never will.

Are those the sad songchoruses you sing to yourself as the halfcar rattles toward the ocean, yes they are.

And you could tell yourself, it’s not my fault, drugs made me dumb, gave me huge blindspots, I mean why did I think I needed to buy Fresh But Freaking Chill.

But drugs are pills and powders and syrups, dummy, they’re not people, they don’t make mistakes, only you do, and now you deserve your sad doom.

? ? ?

It was sonday and out in front of the Dockseye Middlechurch of the Lord King God surenough there was tiny Mom in her doll’s chair, wheeling around squeakily, banging a pot and yelling for all to come pray this fine morning and personally say thanks to the Founder And Manager Of Everything.

Tiny little Mom, a fifth of my scale, bonewhite in the hair, face wrinkling up like a walnut, it’s been a hard twoyears but still fiery in the eyes.

“Hey Mom,” I said in a crackedinhalf voice.

It took her a second to figure out who was this bruisy middleteen, then she shrieked and gasped, I lifted her into my arms, tinymom and middleson hugged and cried.

“Oh you’re so big, oh look at you, son you look so dinged up though, your fingers are purple and crooked, let me look at those rubbery ears, is everything allright,” she cried.

“Oh it’s fine,” I lied, “it’s just Lifty Track, we get dinged a lot, trapped under rubble, nobigdeal.”

“And your culty crackpot sister, did she get brainwashed again,” fretted Mom.

“Nono,” I said, “she’s never going back to the cult, remember, she’s learning at school with me.”

“Oh what a relief,” sighed Mom.

“She’s a superstar at school actually, studying business, Mom you should be proudest of her, she’s doing way better than me,” I said.

“Look I’m just glad she’s out of that cult, oh you wouldn’t believe how I’ve prayed and prayed for the two of you, and now my prayers have come true, praise you, Lord King, I mean is He good or what,” yelled joyfull Mom.

“He is,” I said. “He really is.”

“You’re happy, you’re healthy, you’re learning, it’s a miracle,” she cried.

I couldn’t talk, just nodded, sick with guilt.

“Now how about you carry your proud little mom into the middlerows and thank the Emperor Of All The Universe for cherishing you among all His subjects, letsgo, redfish,” she said, and Puppyneck shook his head no but I picked up my mom and took her inside and he didn’t stop me, he let me have a couple hours in church singing songs of praise and getting beseeched by the churchmeister and sitting next to my proud godhappy mom.