Munmun(23)

“Sis,” I said. “You weren’t still thinking, maybe you’ll find a husband at this party.”

She shook her head, but not in answer to me, more answering the world.

“Did you really think these jerks could be like that with someone they want to marry,” I said, and I could feel my rib pain starting to fuzz the dream.

“Warner,” she said, starting to choke on clots of anger. “I’m sorry, but shut up.”

“You can’t just be quiet and say okay when jerks are trying that stuff,” I said.

“Shut up,” she said. “You don’t get to talk about this. You just don’t. So shut up.”

“No,” I said. “Only when you start respecting yourself more.”

“Warner,” she tried to yell through the clots, squeaking bitterly. “You don’t understand what it’s like. You can’t understand what it’s like to be me in a situation like that. I know you think you understand, you think you know everything, but that just makes you a peenhead. So shut up immediately about me, now, forever.”

“Sis, I can’t,” I said.

She was mad, I was mad. I know it’s notsogood to be mad at someone in the situation of, terrible things just happened to her, her hope got abused, her fear kept her quiet, but sorry, I was mad. My instinct in bad situations is usually, get super mad.

“Well, sorry for trying to help,” I said.

“Ohmygod what are you talking about,” she said. “You shot bullets into the exact room I was in. Super easily you could have shot me.”

She was definitely right, but I didn’t want to be wrong so I argued, “No, firstofall only one bullet, secondofall I was aiming up at the window, so no way it hits you, because here’s how the angle works,” but she wouldn’t let me explain.

Then, still super mad, I said, “Well, now I’m a fugitive I guess, so I won’t be around to keep messing things up for you.”

We were both quiet for a long time.

“Actually am I a fugitive,” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “The cops keep showing up at Paddy Quickstand, looking for you, they think we’re hiding you somewhere.”

“So what do you do now,” I said.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Paddy is going to kick us out. He’s mad about the cops being around all the time. Plus he thinks we tricked him.”

“Tricked him how,” I said.

“Tricked him into giving a home to a tramp,” she said, and now she was crying again but not angry, just weepysad, and I shut up and reached through the chairs and gave her a hug.

You can’t feel hugs really in Dreamworld, but you can pretend you do.

She cried so hard, she woke herself up and disappeared.





LIFEANDDEATHWORLD


That morning the pain was not too bad, until a middlepoor girl picked up the garbage and dumped it into a bag, and I went from bottom to top, landing on some bones and eatstix, shrieking.

The girl was also shrieking, round oh mouth and round oh fakegreen eyes in a round oh face.

I was a fugitive so I had to get this girl to stop shrieking somehow, so I went finger to lips, fists to heart, backandforth like a maniac and grinning from the pain.

She stopped shrieking, thankgod, and just kind of froze like, what do I say now.

“Sorry,” I sorried.

“Sorry,” she repeated automatically. “No no no, I’m sorry.”

This girl looked my age, a year younger maybe, plumskinned.

“No no, I’m sorry, for sure,” I said.

“Are you hurt or something,” she said.

“Oh no I’m fine,” I said, immediately it was like, Warner, what is even the point of lying right now, do you just lie automatically even when it makes no sense.

“GRACE,” yelled probably her mom from inside, superstrong accent, vowels from across the sea. “WHAT’S WRONG, IS SOMEONE THERE OR SOMETHING.”

“MOM IT’S FINE,” she yelled, and glanced at me, and quickly hoisted me out of the bag and gently down into the alley, turned around and went back into the shop.

But the pain was pretty bad, and being honest with you, the food was pretty good, so I stuck around nearby hiding in a drainpipe until after the lunch rush, when the garbage was half full, and then I snuck back into the garbage and slurped a little more bright salty creamnoodle, and the whole time tried to figure out a plan.

Shortterm, I need to get to Chess’s apartment again, Prayer and Usher should probably come too when Paddy kicks them out. Because that’s an opportunity to stay somewhere safe, with someone who likes us. How honest do I have to be with Chess? Chess is an okay guy, sure, but would he host a fugitive? Maybe, maybe not, bottomline, too much risk, definitely don’t tell him about the criminal part.

Longterm, the plan of Find Prayer A Husband At Law School is dead. So we need a new plan for munmuns. Probably, hatetosay, it was time for crime. Thefts, schemes, tricks.

But always when my plans tipped toward Thefts Schemes Tricks, I couldn’t help realizing, this world isn’t built for littlepoor crime. Littlepoors can’t hurt anyone but other littlepoors, can’t make fast getaways, can’t even walk with middlesize munbills or bigger. Littlepoors in bigspaces are always suspicious, easy to stop, trap, question, kick out. Sneaking and hiding is all we can do, except to each other.