Munmun(24)

The only people littlepoors can perform crimes on is other littlepoors, join a squad and raid the littlepoors weaker than you, that’s your only chance at more munmuns, and it was a sad crappy truth my thoughts circled like a drain.

Then out of the blue, slurping a bone, I realized, Warner. Chess can help you charge munmuns for dreams.

Now look. I’d had the thought of Get Munmuns For Dreams before. But I never saw a way to actually collect the muns. People can agree to anything in Dreamworld, sure I’ll give you munmuns for pleasant dreams, but in Lifeanddeathworld they can pretend like that didn’t happen. And that’s if you can even approach them. Middleriches, you can’t get your words up to their ears or even find them most of the time. And poors are just going to say, get out of here, I can’t give you munmuns for dreams, what a crazy bunch of crap.

But I realized, this time it’s different. Because Chess can help.

Chess can collect the munmuns before the dreams. We can go into business together. Chess rounds up some munmuns from all his friends, just a small amount to them, but to me, to Prayer, to Usher, changeyourlife munmun.

A subscription service to beautifull relaxing dreams. Or maybe just daily ticket purchases. Chess gets the munmuns before the dream and gives out a password, tells them where the dreamdoor will be.

You would see on the news sometimes wild stories about the leaders of other countries, undemocratic countries not at all like the Yewess, dictators and kings and armybosses running the whole thing and guys like that get all kinds of perks. The best palaces, helicopters, chefs, bangpartners, and some of them get their own dreamers too.

So it’s like the perk of a dictator, except lawstudents get to have it. The nice frummy gay ones, students I know didn’t abuse my sis.

But the more I thought about it, I could dream for not just friends of Chess, it could be a whole business, pay munmuns each day for the night’s password, enter the dreamdoor and enjoy a heavenly dream that refreshes you, heals you, waters your heart and makes it pink. Who wouldn’t pay five munmuns for a lifechanging dream.

For the first time in whoknows howlong I had hope.

In the evening I was in the garbage when the girl Grace came back, not to empty it, instead to whisper, “Hey. Are you back.”

I didn’t say anything.

“If you’re back, I have water,” she said.

I still didn’t say anything.

“I’ll just leave it next to the garbage,” she said, and I heard her put it down and walk back inside.

It was clean, sterile for sure, but sweet too, a little basil, a little lime.





DREAMWORLD


Before I found Chess I found the gray firework again and again it was just Prayer waiting for me, not Usher.

“Bro,” said Prayer. “I’m getting married.”

“Wait, what,” I said.

“I’m getting married, this weekend,” said Prayer, smiling, more relieved than overjoyed.

“Ohmygod,” I said. “Sis, amazing. Who are you marrying.”

“Paddy,” said Prayer.

At first it made me happy she was already recovered enough to make this hilarious joke.

Then it turned out, not a hilarious joke, actually the less hilarious truth.

“Paddy and I have been talking and talking and I’ve completely opened up to him and told him everything, how I’m not a tramp, but the truth is I am here to meet some men and find a husband, because bottomline I need to improve my situation and I’m going to stop at nothing so if he needs to kick me out, okay, I understand, I’ll leave in the cleaningcar probably with you and Usher and we’ll all find some other neighborhood to live, but I have to scale up somehow and now’s my best chance while I’m young and cute, I know it’s sad but that’s just the truth, so kick us out if you need to.”

And he listened and said finally, well, hang on, let’s not be hasty, and look, I get it, so let me just think about it, but in the meantime, you can stay here tonight.

And then the next day he said, I’ve made my decision, and you can stay, but only if you marry me, so, how about it.

He was old, he had no kids, he liked how Prayer politely listened to everything he said and found nice ways to agree with him. He had spent a whole lifetime building up scale and now he was going to use it to get a young cute wife, because what else was he going to do with it.

“I know you’re thinking, he’s old, he’s gross, it’s a big sacrifice, but I do actually like talking to him and more important, I know he’ll take care of me,” Prayer said.

The first thing I made my mouth say was, “How much will you and Mom scale up atleast.” In my head it seemed like the math was, Paddy’s close to middlescale, so he has almost a million munmuns, spread those among three people, everyone ends up around twothirdscale, Prayer and Mom scale up by maybe six or seven.

But Prayer’s eyes and mouth went a little funny and she said, “Warner, it’s just me scaling up for now.”

My mouth didn’t say anything to that.

“Look,” she said. “I know. Bro, I know. But if Paddy splits his munmun among three, he’s too small to even run his store. So that’s just not an option. It’s hard enough scaling down just for me. He’ll need blocks and ladders everywhere. If he loses anymore than that, the merch and food and shipments are all too big and heavy. Brotherbrat, he’s sicktysix. We’ll both work hard, both earn munmuns at the Quickstand, and yearbyyear we can scale Mom up, but not now, not rightaway.”