Marek (Cold Fury Hockey #11)(3)
For tomorrow, I become a dad.
Chapter 2
Gracen
“Pop-Tarts or Cinnamon Toast Crunch?” I ask Lilly. She sits at the long table that seats eight that separates the kitchen from the living area.
“Eggs and sausage,” she says without taking her eyes off the TV screen in the living room. She’s in a Paw Patrol phase for the time being. Last week it was Doc McStuffins.
“Sorry, baby,” I tell her as I ruffle her hair. She rolls her head to get away from my touch, but that just makes me grin. She doesn’t like her Paw Patrol interrupted. “Out of eggs and sausage, but we’ll go to the grocery store later today.”
That gets her attention. “Will Marek be going to the store with us?”
I cringe, pulling the refrigerator door open as quickly as possible to hide behind it so she hopefully doesn’t see said cringe. It’s getting so hard to field questions from her about the man she is very curious about but really doesn’t understand who he is.
A flash of anger heats me up from the inside out and I close the door a little too hard after grabbing the milk. My conversation with Marek last night didn’t quite go how I’d planned. It turned into the same bitter argument we’ve been lobbing at each other the few times we’ve actually talked.
I’m still hurt and feeling abandoned because he dumped me. I feel all righteous when I’m pointing that out to him, but all he has to do is remind me I deprived him of three amazing years with Lilly and I’m drowning in guilt. So much guilt and self-hatred that I can’t even look at him when he throws that in my face, so I retreat from his loathsome stare and vicious words.
He wins and we go on as before. Not talking and not getting anything resolved.
Marek seemed to make a commitment last night to getting to know Lilly. He wants her to know he’s her father, and it’s time. I’ve been waiting on pins and needles for him to get up this morning, figuring we might as well sit down with her and explain things. Lilly is always up at the crack of dawn, which means so too am I. Marek is a bit of a late sleeper, though, and my nerves are firing on all cylinders waiting for him to grace us with his presence.
I look over at Lilly before reaching into the cupboard for a plastic cup. I had to go buy child-appropriate plates and cups when we first arrived, ignoring the abundance of paper plates in Marek’s pantry that he prefers to eat off rather than dirtying dishes. She’s watching me expectantly for an answer, her curiosity over Marek far more tempting that Sky and Chase and the rest of the pups on TV.
I open my mouth to tell her something vague because I have no clue if Marek is going to wake up today and bail on us like he usually does, or if he’s going to man up and be a dad to Lilly. I don’t even get a sound out when Marek walks into the kitchen and asks Lilly, “Is Marek going where with you today?”
My hand shakes and I pour milk over the edge of the glass, hitting the counter with a splash. I tip the carton back up and set it down, making a grab for some paper towels. I don’t miss the shy smile that Lilly gives him and before ducking her head without answering him.
“We need some things at the grocery store,” I tell him casually over my shoulder as I mop up the spilled milk without shedding a single tear over it.
Marek glances at Lilly, who is now refusing to look at him, and the consternation on his face is easy to read. He just tried to open up a conversation with his daughter and she shut him down, not maliciously but unwittingly. She doesn’t know that Marek feels as awkward around her as she feels around him.
The front doorbell rings, causing relief to wash over Marek’s face. He turns back to the formal living room quickly, happy to be removed from the situation of a shy daughter he doesn’t know at all. “I’ll get that.”
Lilly’s gaze returns to the TV and she’s once again engrossed in Paw Patrol, although I see her sneak a peek at Marek’s retreating back. My heart throbs with sorrow for all the ways in which she just doesn’t understand how her life has gotten so crazy lately.
I’m resolved that as soon as Marek comes back in, we’re going to sit down with Lilly and set her mind at ease. I only hope to God, for Lilly’s sake, that Marek was serious last night when he indicated he wants a relationship with her. And truthfully, I hope for my sake too, because while I’ll put her in my car and drive back home with my tail between my legs, it’s definitely not the best option.
Footsteps echo along the hardwood in the formal living room, lighter than Marek’s, and I’m surprised to see a woman walk into the kitchen. She glances at Lilly, her smile soft, before looking to me. “Hey, Gracen, I’m Josie.”
“Um…hi,” I say, thoroughly confused as to what this very pretty woman is doing in Marek’s house. A girlfriend? Housekeeper?
She doesn’t look or act like either, her smile warm and friendly and…knowing?
The woman must sense my confusion and unease, because she walks around the counter and sticks her hand out for me to shake. I take it tentatively.
“I’m sorry, this must be weird for you,” she says as she grasps me warmly. “Let me start again. I’m Josie, and I’m Reed Olson’s girlfriend. Reed and Marek are best friends.”
“I met him,” I tell her with a hesitant smile. “At the wedding. Well…almost wedding.”