Loveless(87)

There was a long pause. I had no idea what to say to that.

Eventually, he said, ‘D’you know when I first realised I liked you?’

I looked up at him, not sure where this was going. ‘When?’

‘When you clapped back at Mr Cole that time during Les Mis rehearsals.’

Clapped back? I couldn’t remember a time when I’d clapped back at a teacher, let alone Mr Cole, the authoritarian director of our school plays in the sixth form.

‘I don’t remember that,’ I said.

‘Really?’ Jason chuckled. ‘He was shouting at me because I’d told him I had to miss a rehearsal that afternoon to go to a dentist appointment. And you were there, and he turned to you and said, Georgia, you agree with me, right? Jason is Javert, he’s a key role and he should have organised his appointment for another time. And you know what Mr Cole was like – anyone who disagreed with him was officially his enemy. But you just looked him in the eyes and were like, Well, it’s too late to change it now, so there’s no point shouting at Jason about it. And that just shut him right up and he stormed away to his office.’

I did remember this incident. But I didn’t think I’d been particularly forceful or bold. I’d just tried to stand up for my best friend who was clearly in the right.

‘It just made me think … Georgia might be kind of quiet and shy, but she’d stand up to a scary teacher if one of her friends was being shouted at. That’s the sort of person you are. It made me feel certain that you truly cared about me. And I guess that’s when I started … you know, falling for you.’

‘I still care about you that much,’ I said immediately, even though I didn’t think what I’d said to Mr Cole was particularly special or brave. I still wanted Jason to know that I cared about him exactly as much as he’d thought in that moment.

‘I know,’ he said with a smile. ‘That’s partly why I needed some space away from you. To get over you.’

‘Did you get over me?’

‘I … I’m trying. It’s going to take time. But I’m trying.’

I subconsciously withdrew my hand from his. Was I making this worse for him just by being around him?

He noticed this happen and there was a pause before he spoke again.

‘When you told me why you dated me, I … I mean, obviously I was crushed,’ he continued. ‘I felt like … you just didn’t care about me at all. But after I got your message, I think I started to realise that you’ve just … you’ve been so confused about stuff. You really thought we could be together, because you do love me. Not in a romantic way, but just as strongly. You’re still that person who stuck up for me to Mr Cole. You’re still my best friend.’ He glanced at me. ‘You and me not being a couple doesn’t change that at all. I haven’t lost anything, just because we’re not dating.’

I listened, stumped, taking a moment to figure out what he meant.

‘You’re OK with – with just being friends?’ I asked.

He smiled and took my hand again. ‘“Just friends” makes it sound like being friends is worse. I think this is better, personally, considering how terrible that kiss was.’

I squeezed his hand. ‘I agree.’

We reached the end of the bridge, crossing back into a cobbled alleyway. Jason’s face ducked in and out of darkness as we passed the streetlamps. When his face came into the light again, he was smiling, and I thought, possibly, I was forgiven.





Sunil peered at Jason’s framed photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr for a solid few seconds before tapping it and asking, ‘Would somebody like to explain this, please?’

‘It’s a really long story,’ said Jason, who was sitting on his bed.

‘It’s a good story, though,’ I added. Me and Rooney were on the floor with Jason’s pillows as back rests, though Rooney was having a small power nap.

‘Well, now I’m even more intrigued.’

Jason sighed. ‘How about I explain once we’ve actually decided what we’re doing about Pip?’

It was a week after our Scooby-Doo outing. With Jason back in the Shakespeare Soc, things were looking up, and we’d actually been able to have a proper rehearsal.

But we couldn’t do the show without Pip.

And it wasn’t just about that, anyway. The society was important to all of us, but our friendship with Pip was more important. That was what needed saving.

I just didn’t know exactly how I was going to do that.

‘We’re talking about Pip?’ said Rooney, who had apparently just woken up.

Rooney was still going out most nights and returning in the early hours. I didn’t know whether I could stop her, or if I even should. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, technically.

I just got the sense that she only did it to numb everything else.

‘I thought we were rehearsing,’ I said.

‘There’s no point carrying on with rehearsals if Pip isn’t coming back,’ Jason stated, and there was silence as we all realised that he was right.

Sunil perched on Jason’s desk and folded his arms. ‘So … do you have any suggestions?’

‘Well, I’ve been talking to her, and –’