Loveless(55)

I laughed.

Rooney did not.

‘What?’ she asked.

I genuinely thought she was joking. ‘I thought that was just a movie thing. You really just … look at abs and that does it for you?’

‘I mean … yeah.’ Rooney looked a little put out. ‘What, is that not normal?’

I had no idea what was normal. Maybe nothing was normal. ‘I just don’t get the appeal. Like … abs are just lumpy stomachs.’

This made Rooney laugh loudly. ‘OK. Fine. Question Three –’

‘How are there more questions –’

‘Sex dreams. What happened in your last sex dream?’

I stared at her. ‘Seriously?’

‘Yes!’

I started to say that I’d never had a sex dream, but that wasn’t strictly true. I’d had a dream a couple of years back where in order to pass my exams I had to have sex with a guy in my class. He was waiting on my bed, naked, and I kept walking in and out of my bedroom, fully clothed, not quite able to work up the courage to go through with it. It wasn’t a nightmare, but it gave me that same feeling of a nightmare where you’re trying to run away from a demon but your legs are moving like they’re stuck in sludge, and the demon is catching up with you, but you can’t move properly, and you’re about to die.

On second thoughts, I wasn’t sure that counted as a sex dream.

‘I don’t have sex dreams,’ I said.

Rooney stared back at me. ‘What … ever?’

‘Does everyone have sex dreams?’

‘Well … I don’t know, now.’ Rooney looked almost as confused as me. ‘I assumed it was kind of an everyone thing, but … I mean, I guess it’s not.’

I almost regretted bringing this up with her. For someone who’d had a lot of sex, Rooney didn’t seem to understand it any better than I did. Making a snap decision, I grabbed my phone again. ‘I am going to message Pip.’

‘Yes. Please get her involved. I want to know what she thinks.’

I gave Rooney a look. ‘You’re very interested in what Pip thinks about sex, huh?’

Rooney spluttered. ‘Uh – no, actually, no. I just – I just wanted a third opinion and she’s the most likely person to overshare.’

Georgia Warr

apologies for the late-night message but i have a question, dear friend Felipa Quintana

It better not be about the group chat name because I will defend ‘a midsummer night’s dab’ until I die Georgia Warr

i respect the dab, it’s not about that

soooooo

me and rooney are having a conversation about sex right now Felipa Quintana

OOOOH

Okay I’m in

Georgia Warr

my question is . . . . . .

do you have sex dreams?

Felipa Quintana

Lol WOW

Georgia Warr

you don’t have to answer if it’s too personal haha but also i have seen you pee multiple times

we know each other probably too well by this point for the record, rooney is here and wants to know your answers Felipa Quintana

Wow hi rooney

Yeah I’ve had sex dreams

Not like looooads

But occasionally

I mean that’s pretty normal right??

‘She says she’s had sex dreams,’ I said to Rooney.

‘Ask her about masturbating,’ Rooney hissed from across the room.

‘Rooney.’

‘It’s for science!’

Georgia Warr

that’s basically what we’re trying to determine

a second question – when you have a wank do you think about YOURSELF having sex?? And if so … with what gender??

rooney says the gender doesn’t matter for her Felipa Quintana

JESUS georgia what is this conversation omg

Wait Rooney thinks about being with girls??????

Georgia Warr

yeah

Felipa Quintana

Okay . . . . . . Okay interesting

Well firstly, yeah I do think about myself? Idk what else I would think about?? I guess unless you’re literally just having a wank to porn … but even then it’s like at least a little bit about you and your fantasies too And obviously I just think about girls haha … the thought of being with a guy just disgusts me I mean I am very much a lesbian. We’ve established this This is interesting though

‘She said she does think about herself having sex,’ I said.

Rooney nodded, though she’d started adjusting her hair so I couldn’t read her expression. ‘Yeah. I mean, that’s what most people do, I think.’

Georgia Warr

i won’t tell rooney this one, this is just a question from me do you fantasise about other people?? like real people? like if you get a crush or meet someone really hot, do you fantasise about having sex with them????

Felipa Quintana

Georgia how come you wanna know all this?

Are you okay??

Are you and Jason having SEX

Oh god I don’t know if I want to know Georgia Warr

calm down i’m not having sex

just trying to understand some stuff Felipa Quintana

Okay

Yeah I guess I do sometimes

Not eeeevery single hot person I meet but if I really liked someone …