Love, Creekwood (Simonverse #3.5)(8)
In conclusion: Will you take my dog body to fuse with your cat body for as long as we both shall attend Caitlin’s Halloween party this weekend?
xoxo
Abby
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: OCT 24 AT 3:15 PM
SUBJECT: RE: HEAR ME OUT
You know, for all the hours I spent daydreaming about what it would be like to date you, I somehow failed to anticipate the involvement of CatDog. You realize CatDog is essentially a penis with animal heads on either end, right? And are the cat and dog romantically involved with each other? Are they siblings? I don’t know, Suso. If we’re going to walk around dressed like them all night, I feel like we should know their deal.
(I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this. Like, I actually, seriously can’t believe it, even as I’m typing this. These four-letter-L-word feelings are starting to be a PROBLEM.) So, I’m the cat, huh?
Kind regards,
LCB
FROM: [email protected]
TO: [email protected]
DATE: OCT 28 AT 3:04 AM
SUBJECT: THIS NIGHT
All right, first of all, Bramster, your latest Instagram post is a personal attack. You in a Ravenclaw robe????? Text me a warning next time or something. You know PERFECTLY WELL I now have to drop a thirsty heart-eye emoji in your comments section (where my sisters can see it!!! THANKS A LOT). You’re just so fucking gorgeous. Sometimes I see a picture of you, and I’m like, holy shit, that’s my boyfriend. I should really make a PowerPoint with pictures of you and call it Sorry, Gents, He’s Taken. It’ll be great, I’ll make the whole world die of jealousy.
Anyway, hope you and Garrett are having a happy Halloween weekend (which should definitely be called Halloweekend, why aren’t we doing that??) (wait, I just googled it and apparently people ARE doing it, so congrats I guess to all you Einsteins out there who made it a hashtag. Way to be a million times smarter than me). Okay, I already forgot what I’m talking about. GOD I HAVE SO MUCH TO TELL YOU, but I don’t know where to start, because I’m a liiiiiittle drunk right now. Not like cartwheels-on-Founders-Green-wearing-only-Mickey-ears-level drunk (Nude Mickey, whoever you are, you were joyful and free, and I love that for you).
So guess what?? College is amaaaaazing. And before I forget, Kellan told me to tell you to go to Big Nick’s Pizza, because it has the best pizza and milkshakes, and this is according to his cousin Dannon Maya who (despite being named after yogurt apparently??) is a REAL New Yorker. Wait haha sorry, it’s TWO cousins, Dan AND Maya, which makes so much more sense. Needless to say, Kellan is slightly drunk and also dressed like a ventriloquist dummy (which is a plot twist I did NOT see coming . . . Kellan likes clowns and dummies!).
But I have to tell you about tonight, Bram, and I actually kind of want to cry right now, because I’m so relieved my brain remembers how to be happy. Tonight just felt like COLLEGE. It was exactly how I’d always pictured it. I wasn’t even planning to go out, because all I had was a striped-shirt bank robber costume, aka the most basic bitch costume ever invented. But then Liza came over (can’t remember if I told you about her, but she’s our customs person. Kind of like an RA, I guess? Basically, she’s a sophomore who lives on my hall, and she’s like a big sister to our whole customs group). So Liza took me under her wing (literal wing, she was dressed like an angel) (also, she’s an ACTUAL angel!). I don’t even know how it happened, B, but I pulled Liza’s tutu on over my jeans and polo shirt, and now I’m Billy Elliot??? (“Stranger Things Ballerina Edition” was a really good guess though, props to Garrett from me!) So a bunch of us from my customs group ended up in this guy Jacob’s room (did I mention there are two Jacobs on my hall, plus an Isaac and a Rachel? I feel like I’m living in the Old Testament. IF ONLY WE HAD AN ABRAHAM). Anyway, it was me, both Jacobs, Liza, Kellan, Grover, and this girl Jocelyn from downstairs, and I’ve hung out with Liza and the Jacobs before (watching TV or chatting in the bathroom, that kind of thing), but I hadn’t really sat down and talked to them. So we kind of piled onto Jacob’s bed, just ranting about politics and talking about all our people from home (of course they got an EARFUL about you). And then somehow there was vodka and orange juice, and we were planning to go to the big Halloween party at Bryn Mawr, but we ended up just skipping that and going to the one at Founders Hall (which is when I left you the voicemail).
I don’t know, it all just felt so fun and carefree. I danced with the girls for a bit, and I had this weirdly intense conversation about pandas with someone dressed like a panda (I don’t even know their name, we were in line for the bathroom). And then we were walking home, and Bram GUESS WHAT: Kellan and Grover were holding hands!!! And it turns out they’ve been together since orientation week, and I missed the memo because I’m just that fucking oblivious. Bram, this whole time, I really thought they were straight-bro BFFs. I’m literally that woman Marjorie from the train station (“I just have to say, it’s so refreshing when young men are willing to be affectionate with their friends!”). I should just turn in my gay card. I don’t even deserve to drink iced coffee at this point.
Oh god, this email is like a whole ass novel. I’m sorry!!! I just miss you so much, honey. Babe. Sweetie. Oh my god, I legit can’t pull ANY of these off with a straight face. Are we just never going to have pet names? Darling??? I kind of love that one. It gives me Monty and Percy vibes (though truly, what does Percy see in that hot mess of a boy?). So, darling, I hope you and Garrett are having a most excellent Halloweekend. More pictures, please!!! I love you so much, Brammy Bram. Come back to Philly ASAP, okay, so we can show Marjorie something REALLY refreshing.