Klara and the Sun(83)
‘I don’t mind that I lost precious fluid. I’d willingly have given more, given it all, if it meant your providing special help to Josie. As you know, since I was last here, I’ve discovered about the other way to save Josie, and if that was all that was left, I’d do my very utmost. But I’m not yet certain the other way would work, however hard I tried, and so my deep wish now is that the Sun will show his great kindness once more.’
The hand I’d been holding out whilst crossing the Sun’s rays made contact with something hard and I realized I was clutching the frame of the metal foldaway chair. I felt happiness to have found it again, but didn’t sit down in case it appeared disrespectful. Instead, I steadied myself behind it, holding its back with both hands.
The Sun’s rays coming from the back of the barn were too intense to face directly, so though it might seem rude, I turned my gaze once more to the drifting shapes to my right, perhaps hoping to glimpse Rosa sitting in the lonely diner booth. But now the Sun’s pattern had fallen across the front alcove, momentarily illuminating it, and I saw there not an AF, but a large oval-shaped photograph fixed to the wall. It showed a green field on a sunny day, dotted with sheep, and in the foreground, I recognized the four special sheep I’d glimpsed from the Mother’s car returning from Morgan’s Falls. They seemed even more gentle than I’d remembered, lined up as they were in a neat row, their heads lowered to partake of the grass. These creatures had filled me with happiness that day, helping to erase the memory of the terrible bull, and I was pleased to see them again, if only in this oval photograph. But something was wrong: although the four sheep were positioned in a line in just the same formation I’d seen from the car, here they’d become oddly suspended, so they no longer appeared to stand on the surface of the ground. As a result, when they stretched down to eat, their mouths couldn’t reach the grass, giving these creatures, so happy on the day, a mood of sadness.
‘Please don’t go away just yet,’ I said. ‘Please give me one more brief moment. I know I failed to perform the service I promised you in the city and I’ve no right to ask anything further of you. But I’m remembering how delighted you were that day Coffee Cup Lady and Raincoat Man found each other again. You were so delighted and couldn’t help showing it. So I know just how much it matters to you that people who love one another are brought together, even after many years. I know the Sun always wishes them well, perhaps even helps them to find each other. Please then consider Josie and Rick. They’re still very young. Should Josie pass away now, they’ll be parted forever. If only you could give her special nourishment, as I saw you do for Beggar Man and his dog, then Josie and Rick could go together into their adult lives just as they wished for in their kind picture. I can myself vouch that their love is strong and lasting, just like that of Coffee Cup Lady and Raincoat Man.’
I now noticed, a few steps in front of the alcove, a small triangular object left on the floor. I thought for an instant that it was one of the pointed pie slices the Diner Manager had been displaying in his see-through counter. And I recalled Mr Vance’s unkind voice, saying: ‘If you’re not seeking favoritism, then why am I sitting here in front of you now?’ and Miss Helen saying quickly, ‘We are asking him to exercise favoritism, of course we are.’ Only then did I realize the triangle on the floor wasn’t a piece of pie, but a corner of Josie’s paperback, the one she’d let fall from the sofa in the Friend’s Apartment while waiting for the Father. In fact, it wasn’t triangular at all, but had merely appeared that way because only the one corner was protruding out of the shadows. To the left of the front alcove, boxes were drifting and overlapping as if in the evening wind. I saw in several of them the flash of bright colors, and noticed they contained, even if only in the background, the bottles display I’d glimpsed in the store’s new window. The bottles were illuminated in contrasting colors, and in certain boxes I spotted also parts of the sign that said ‘Recessed Lighting’. I knew then that my time was running out, and so continued quickly.
‘I know favoritism isn’t desirable. But if the Sun is making exceptions, surely the most deserving are young people who will love one another all their lives. Perhaps the Sun may ask, “How can we be sure? What can children know about genuine love?” But I’ve been observing them carefully, and I’m certain it’s true. They grew up together, and they’ve each become a part of the other. Rick told me this himself only today. I know I failed in the city, but please show your kindness once more and give your special help to Josie. Tomorrow, or perhaps the next day, please look in on her and give her the kind of nourishment you gave Beggar Man. I ask you this, even though it may be favoritism, and I failed in my mission.’
The Sun’s evening rays had started to fade, leaving the beginnings of darkness inside the barn. Although I’d been trying to remain facing the rear opening, through which his light had been coming, I’d been for a little while aware of some separate light source behind me over my right shoulder. I’d assumed at first it was some further manifestation of the colored bottles display, but as the Sun’s own light in the barn continued to reduce, this new light source had become harder to ignore. I now turned around to look at it, and was surprised to see that the Sun himself, far from leaving, had come right within Mr McBain’s barn and installed himself, almost at floor level, between the front alcove and the barn’s front opening. This discovery was so unexpected – and the Sun’s presence in the low corner so dazzling – that for a brief moment I was in danger of becoming disoriented. Then my vision readjusted, and ordering my mind, I realized the Sun wasn’t really in the barn at all, but that something reflective had been left there by chance and was now catching his reflection during the last moments of his descent. In other words, something was behaving as the Sun’s mirror in much the way the windows of the RPO and other buildings sometimes did. As I walked towards the reflective surface, the light became less fierce, though it remained glowing and orange amidst the surrounding shadows.