If Ever(67)

Tom places his hand on mine, warm and soft. "I hate to break this up, but I have to get back to the theatre."

"But we just ordered crème brulè."

"For you. You deserve something decadent." He rises and slips on his coat. "You know how to get to the theatre from here? It's just around the corner and down a block."

I stand, reluctant to say goodbye even for a little while. "I do."

His soft kiss lingers. "I'll see you right after the show. Go to the stage door like last time. Ed will let you in."





His show is better than I remembered. I'm mesmerized by his strong, pure voice belting out song after song. I think of his matinee performance with his fly open and giggle, but Tom commands his role, disappearing into his character, who transforms throughout the show from clueless young man to tortured soul.

He's funny and lovable at the beginning, then angry and scared during the incredibly physical fight scenes. It's got to leave him battered and bruised. He's tender in the love scenes, leaving me desperate to be the girl in his arms and wondering how he keeps his stage life out of his personal, if he does at all.

At intermission I buy a souvenir program, the sound track, a mug, and a key chain, texting him a grinning selfie with all my swag. He texts back a pic of him gagging. His texts continue right up to when the lights dim and the orchestra plays the intro to the second half. When he appears on stage a minute later, he's not Tom, he's back to his character and I'm lost in his fictional world. He's funny, poignant, and breaks my heart with his soul wrenching songs. His voice soars above the rest of the cast giving me chills.

When the show is over, I take my time following the masses outside. I nudge my way to the stage door where I knock and after being checked off a list, am admitted. The security guy smiles. "It's Ed, right?"

"That's right. You remember the way?"

"Thanks. I do." I take the staircase, loving this special access I have to the star. His door is open so I pop my head in. "You were amazing!"

Fully dressed and ready to go, he looks up from where he's stuffing items in his backpack and grins. "You're too nice."

I enter the room. "I'm serious. I don't know how you do it. It's like it isn't even you up there, but it is."

He slips his arms around my waist and kisses me. "That's about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"God, I hope not. You deserve way better compliments than that."

"I thought I'd give you a choice tonight. We can go out for drinks and music, or go back to my place where it's quiet and we won't have to yell to hear each other."

I try to read his body language, but he's giving nothing away. Is he asking me over for a booty call? I don't think so, but am I that naive? I want to be alone with him without interruption. "We're always rushed. I'd love to just hang out and talk."

"Perfect," he says with a quick kiss. "Let's go."

On our way down we run into Tanya, the girl in the ensemble I met last week, and another woman who plays his love interest. Tanya smiles at Tom and then recognizes me.

"You're back," she says, sounding surprised.

"I am. Nice to see you again."

"Chelsea, I'd like you to meet Paige," Tom says.

Paige is a beautiful brunette. "You were wonderful," I say. "The show is great, and I'm so in awe of all of you."

"Thanks. It's wonderful to finally meet you. Tom talks about you all the time." She smiles broadly looking from me to Tom and back again.

He does? Tanya's head turns as if she's thinking the same thing. "I'm glad you two finally have some time in the same city."

Another cast member dashes out the stage door to applause. Tom frowns. "Paige, do you mind creating a diversion while we sneak out the front?

"Not at all. You guys have fun tonight."





His apartment is just as I remembered with the brick interior walls, wood floors and mismatched furniture that give the place a warm vibe. Tom hangs our coats in a cramped closet.

"Where are your roommates?" I peek around the living room occupied by a big screen TV, a gaming console, and sound system, but the apartment is quiet.

"There's just the one. Ryan went to a friend's late cabaret performance at 54 Below." He flicks on a single light, casting soft shadows in the room.

"I figured you had a couple roommates after meeting all those guys last week."

"Sometimes it gets a little crowded when people need a place to crash, but I try to keep couch surfing to a minimum. One roommate is plenty." He picks up a remote and aims it at a sound system. "What kind of music do you like?"

"Anything's fine."

Soft acoustic guitar sounds float through the air, and I think of Anna teasing me about sleeping with him.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Sure, what do you have?"

He goes to the kitchen and opens cupboards. "Gin and tonic, of course, beer. There are a few left over bottles of booze from various parties, but I did pick up a bottle of red and a bottle of white. The liquor store guy assured me it wouldn't taste like vinegar, so I think they're both safe."