Happily Ever Awkward (The H.E.A. Files, #1)(37)
“Urrr,” he said.
“Get her out of my sight!” the dark wizard commanded. He shoved Princess Luscious toward Jeremy. The Zombie butler caught her, far more gently than one would expect from a Zombie.
“This way, my lady—”
“Jeremy! No more talking! I told you, you’re a Zombie now! You will act like one!”
“Yes, my lord,” Jeremy said wearily. “I mean, urrr…”
Demog wiped his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder as the Zombie shambled past with Princess Luscious in tow. After all she had experienced lately, being escorted by a Zombie into a dungeon did not even faze her. As soon as the two of them descended into the tower, Seeboth broke down.
“I don’t understand what she wants!” he cried. “This altar is exquisite — look at all the chains! She should be thrilled! Demog, what am I doing wrong?!”
“Does it matter, my lord?” The Demon really couldn’t have cared less about the whole matter. “She’s just a sacrifice, after all.”
“I cannot bear her hatred!”
Demog sighed. “My lord, I must confess — love is a mystery to me. However, I understand that mortal women are happier when eating. Perhaps a romantic dinner—”
“Brilliant!” Seeboth declared, pouncing on the suggestion. “Begin the preparations at once!”
“You realize she may not be inclined to dine with you at the moment…”
Seeboth dismissed the Demon’s concerns with a wave of his hand. “Then stop feeding her until then! She’ll eat with me whether she wants to or not!”
Jeremy the Zombie shut Princess Luscious in a dank cell that was virtually identical to her cell on the Shadowship, the only differences being that it was slightly larger, made of stone, and included a skeleton chained to the wall as part of its decorating scheme.
“Jeremy?” Princess Luscious called softly.
The Zombie butler had already begun to drag himself away, but at the sound of her voice, he paused. “Urrr…” Glancing down the dismal hall to be sure the coast was clear, he stepped back and peeked through the barred window slit in the door. “Yes, my lady?”
“Can… can you bring me something to eat?” she asked. “I’m terribly hungry.”
“I… am not permitted, my lady. I am so very sorry.” A sound from the other end of the hallway caused him to turn his head at the speed of rigor mortis. Thirty seconds later he finally said, “I must go. Urrr…” And back in character, he shuffled off.
KA-LATTER!
Something had skittered within the rib cage of the skeleton. Startled, Princess Luscious returned her attention to the cell just as the skeleton’s old, desiccated joints abruptly gave way and it collapsed to the floor. Femurs and vertebra went tumbling. Dodging out of the way, the princess noticed a tiny shape moving through the wreckage of bones.
It was Rupert the Rat.
Without thinking, she began to crawl onto the bench mounted against the wall, but Rupert shook his head and held something out to her.
It was a chunk of bread.
Cautiously, Princess Luscious reached out and snatched it away before the rodent could do whatever horrible thing it might do to her. She retreated across the cell and began to nibble on the dry crust. At that moment in that place, it was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted.
The rat stared at her with nothing but kindness and concern in its eyes.
“Thank you,” Princess Luscious said, and she truly meant it. The rat in his little black longcoat had become her hero.
Rupert backed away into the tangle of bones. His work there was done.
“Wait!” Princess Luscious found herself saying. When Rupert stopped, she broke off a corner of the bread and held it out to him. “Will you… could you stay with me for a while?”
Until that moment, Princess Luscious hadn’t known that a rat could smile.
26
FROLIC LIKE A FLITTERLING
The sun literally smiled from the sky.
Yes, I said “literally”, and I meant “literally”.
It had a mouth, two eyes, and a nose, and its smile warmed the Sargasso Sphinx with a warm, friendly light.
Mere moments before, the Sphinx had been sailing beneath a blazing sun on its approach to the island of Saraan-Vishta, home of the Flitterlings.
“Okay people,” Jack had warned, “brace yourselves. Things are about to get weird.”
The first evidence they had of crossing some kind of magical threshold was the aforementioned smiling sun.
A short distance later, the sea became pink lemonade.
Schools of tiny rainbows leaped from the pink waves in perfect little arcs on every side.
Ahead of them, the island itself seemed to dance.
“Can this be real?” Paul asked in amazement.
“It’s Saraan-Vishta,” Jack said, as if that explained everything.
“I feel like I’m dreaming,” Laura said dreamily.
“Get used to it,” Jack replied. “You’re among the flitter folk now. They don’t play by our rules. Out here, magic doesn’t need to hide.”
As the ship approached a swath of beach that appeared to consist entirely of glitter, a stone pier rose from the water to greet them. Once in place, a red carpet unrolled from one end to the other like a long, fuzzy tongue. Jack pulled alongside, Paul jumped down and tied off the mooring line, and they all stared at the festive island before them.