Gentleman Nine(71)
The thought of Rory moving on with someone else was still a painful one. Old habits die hard.
“I promise, I don’t want to string him along. I’m still trying to figure out what’s inside. It feels like a jumbled mess right now, and it’s literally making me ill. I feel this constant pain inside of my chest that had never been there before, because I’m in love with both of them.”
“You might think so, but you can’t really be in love with two people. You want to love them both because you care for them both. The stress of not wanting anyone to get hurt is suppressing your ability to decipher your true feelings. Don’t force it. Let it come to you.”
“Thank you for not judging me, Boris. I know your allegiance is with Rory, and please believe me when I say, I only want the best for him, too.”
When we returned to the living room, Rory stood up from the couch. I could tell he was itching to leave.
The gingerbread house he’d made with Sophie looked completely finished, covered in frosting, sprinkles, and gumdrops.
“Are you leaving?” Sophie asked him.
“I think I need to get Miss Amber home.”
The little girl pouted. “We haven’t even eaten the house yet.”
He knelt to meet her at eye level. “All that work, and you want to eat it?”
She looked at him like he was crazy for asking. “That’s the fun part!”
Stephanie took the hint that we were ready to go. She stood up and offered me a hug. “Amber, it was so nice meeting you. I just friended you on Facebook. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all, and so great meeting you, too.” I looked down at Sophie and smiled. “And you.”
Boris hugged me goodbye. “Goodnight, my lady. It was a pleasure.”
“The pleasure was all mine.”
Once out in the hallway that connected the two apartments, Rory turned to me. “Will you come upstairs for a little while before I drive you back?”
“Yes, of course.”
***
Ecstatic to see me, Bruiser jumped up to lick my face when we entered Rory’s apartment. The dog followed me over to the couch and placed his head on my lap.
Rory sat across from us on the chaise lounge. “So, are you gonna tell me what Boris said to you? I hope he didn’t embarrass me.”
“No, it was fine—nothing like that. He told me he knew what was going on with us. He was just looking out for you—and me. He’s a good man, very wise.”
We were quiet for a while, but he never took his eyes off me. He looked like he had so much to say, though.
Rory’s stare was penetrating. “I can’t even think about you with Channing.” It surprised me that he mentioned his name.
He went on, “I choose not to, because it’s too painful for me. But I’m not gonna stand here and tell you all the reasons why I’m a better fit for you, why you should choose me. That’s for you to decide. I’m not bringing him into this because my feelings for you have nothing to do with anyone else.” He looked down at the ground and shook his head. “I made a mistake—a big one. Nothing good ever comes out of hiding the truth. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.”
The dog had fallen asleep on me.
Rory suddenly stood up from his chair. “I put something together for you. I didn’t know what else to get you.”
He went to his bedroom and returned with a thick book then sat back down, this time next to me. “I printed years’ worth of our digital photos. I put them in an album in chronological order.”
Looking down at the thick book, I said, “I can’t believe you took the time to do that.”
“Well, I’ve been dwelling in the past anyway these last few months. Might as well illustrate it all.”
He moved closer to me, and the warmth of his body was unsettling. I slowly opened the album and began looking through the photos, which started from when we had first gotten together. God, we were so young. And I was so happy.
Flipping through the pages, I really began to remember all of the reasons I’d fallen in love with him, how happy we were together.
I came across the set of photos that were taken the first night we’d ever made love. We were sitting in front of a fire at the cabin Rory had saved for months to rent.
He and I had waited a while to have sex. I was seventeen and had just graduated high school when I lost my virginity.
We lied to our parents, telling them we were going on a camping trip with friends. In reality, Rory had rented a cabin in the woods for just the two of us. Everyone always complains about their first time, how miserable it was. Not mine. My first time was one of the best nights of my life. We were surrounded by candles and a fireplace. Snow was falling outside. And Rory had taken his time with me. He’d had sex with one other person before we’d gotten together, so I wasn’t his first. He knew what he was doing and made love to me so slowly and sensually, making sure to break me in easily. There was a little blood, but there was never any pain. And once we did it a couple of times and it was no longer painful, we couldn’t get enough of each other. We stayed holed up, screwing each other’s brains out in that cabin for two days straight. It was bliss.
“I’ll never forget that night,” I whispered.
Rory was lost in thought for a few seconds before he said, “Yeah. It was pretty fucking awesome.”