Gentleman Nine(68)
“I want to watch you make yourself come.”
He’d unzipped his jeans. The tip of his hard cock was sticking out of the top of his boxer briefs.
I positioned the computer in a way that he could see my entire body. Bending my head back, I started to masturbate. There was nothing sexier than the sounds of his moans as he began to jerk himself off while watching me.
Gyrating my hips and curling my toes, I kept circling my swollen clit. I’d never done anything like this before and wondered why it had taken me so long. The need was so much more intense when distance was put between us.
My orgasm rolled through me fast and furiously. Channing groaned out in pleasure. Peeking at the screen through my legs, I could see his fist pumping his engorged cock as cum spurted out. That was an amazingly erotic sight.
When he finally stopped, his head stayed back. His shoulders were rising and falling. He was quiet for a while then wiped his eyes with his sleeve. When his eyes finally met mine again, they were red.
Holy shit.
I took my finger to the screen and traced it along his face. “Are you crying?”
He sniffled and shook his head as if mad at himself. “I just got a little emotional. Can’t say that’s ever happened to me while jerking off before.”
The fact that I couldn’t hold him, couldn’t comfort him was pure torture.
His voice was hoarse. “I’m trying so fucking hard.”
We stared at each other for a while. He’d told me he loved me several times. But I think this was the first moment that it actually had sunk in. This man really loved me. I saw it more clearly than ever. Seeing the tears he was trying to fight, the emotions that a simple sexual act could ignite, I knew. Channing was scared to lose me. He’d been acting calm and controlled and trying to give me space, but he was really hurting.
Any shred of doubt I had about his feelings for me was obliterated in that moment.
***
Later that night, I was sitting alone in my new flannel pajamas drinking the cocoa he’d sent me with a big peppermint stick inside the mug when a text came in.
Channing: You sleigh me.
Holding the phone to my chest, I smiled so hard. Sleigh not slay—for Christmas. My fingers hovered over the keys, wanting so badly to type those three words: I love you. But I promised him I wouldn’t say them unless I was his. That rule extended to text messaging, too. I certainly felt like I belonged to him tonight, but Rory was still in the picture, wasn’t he? It wouldn’t have been fair to go against Channing’s wishes.
How do you tell someone you love them without actually saying it? Ultimately, I couldn’t put into words what I felt—especially with that limitation. So, I opted for a simple response and hoped he could read between the lines.
Amber: You sleigh me, too. So much.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
* * *
AMBER
His melodic knock made me jump from my seat.
When I opened, my heart sped up a bit. He was dressed to the nines in black trousers and a fitted, sage green sweater with a collared shirt underneath. His sleeves were rolled up, displaying an expensive-looking watch I’d never seen on him.
Rory had come straight from the airport to my house. His blond hair was perfectly gelled, and he’d grown out his beard a little. His blue eyes were glowing. Honestly, he’d never looked better.
He was holding a white poinsettia plant and reached it out to me. “This is for you.”
I took it and placed it on a table. “Thank you.”
It was weird to not be greeting him with a hug or kiss, but we were both holding back for obvious reasons.
His eyes were piercing. “You look really pretty,” he said, slipping his hands slowly into his pockets.
“So do you.”
He squinted. “I look pretty? Not exactly what I was going for.”
“You know what I mean. Handsome.” Shaking my head, I said, “I’m not really thinking straight.”
The awareness of Rory’s signature Kenneth Cole Reaction cologne immediately brought me a little sense of comfort, reminding me of times when life was far simpler.
“Yeah. You’re nervous. It’s weird to see you this nervous around me. Try not to be. It’s freaking me out a little.” He placed his hand on my arm. “It’s just me, Amber.” His touch definitely didn’t go unnoticed.
“I feel like I’m on my first date with you all over again.”
“How about we not focus on all of the complicated shit for one day? The last thing I want to do is think about the past week. Just be with me. Let’s enjoy Christmas. Plus, Boris has the best booze. It’s like a geriatric bar up in there.” He flashed a crooked smile that was contagious.
Maybe living in denial was the best way to handle this evening. Rory was not about to acknowledge Channing anyway. Aside from the first night he’d discovered that Channing and I were together, he hadn’t so much as mentioned his name. I knew it was too painful for him.
“Well, I can definitely get behind good booze.” I smiled.
“Good.”
We made our way out of the condo. Rory’s car was already running when we got outside. His heated seats felt so good against my bottom.
It was completely quiet for the first five minutes of our drive.