Can't Let Go(25)

A house he was building for a family he would never have? A job he actually enjoyed, but had no one to share it with? He’d never realized how much he’d actually included Abby in his plans—never, until now, when it was clear that she would never be in them. It all seemed so pointless.

About an hour later, the flight finally took off. Logan glanced at his watch, imagining Abby boarding her own plane, getting ready to take off. He sighed quietly, closing his eyes, imagining what it would have been like. He imagined the children, the house, the wife. He saw Abby smiling at him—smiling as she used to, many years ago. He imagined laying next to her in bed, trailing his fingers over the smooth skin of her stomach.

The plane around him jolted a few times, disturbing him from his peaceful imagery. He looked around, wondering what was going on. Stewardesses were rushing back and forth, whispering urgently to one another. “Pardon the commotion, folks. It seems we’ve hit a bit of a rough patch.” The pilot announced over the intercom, but Logan tuned him out, returning to his daydream.

He brought Blake and Hayley back, imagining their children running around in the backyard. Their laughter was so melodious—everyone melding together. A longing filled his chest and Logan cursed reality. It shouldn’t be like this. He should be living this life—he should be with her. They should be tucking their kids into bed at night and arguing about what to have for dinner. Blake and Hayley should be there, too.

It was all wrong. All of it.

Another wave of turbulence passed and Logan opened his eyes, growing more concerned. The pilot came back over the intercom. “Pardon us again, folks, but it seems things are worse than we originally thought. We’re receiving word from Air Traffic Control that all flights in the area are to be grounded immediately. We’ll be nearing our stop shortly, so if all would please prepare for landing…”

Logan looked out the window, his eyes narrowing. They were flying directly above what appeared to be some very vicious weather. The plane shook violently once more. Well, he thought, if the plane goes down—I’m going down happy.

And with that, he closed his eyes again, returning the images of his alternate reality.



~*~



Abby stared in the mirror of the airplane’s bathroom.

It was strange, she thought, that she didn’t recognize the person staring back at her at all now. A transformation that had seemingly begun with her eyes had spread throughout the rest of her appearance. She seemed so…empty. She appeared to be put-together quite well, wearing a pair of black pants and a simple white top, layered over a dark colored tank top. Her hair was perfectly placed, her makeup well-done.

Though she had cried throughout most of the drive to the airport, her eyes were no longer red, the swelling gone. But they were lifeless. Utterly vacant, without a single spark. She couldn’t even see the marks of pain and loss in them anymore.

She was a completely different person. A robot, she realized.

A sudden shudder of the plane caused Abby to lose her balance and she reached out, trying to steady herself. Someone knocked at the door and she shook her head, wondering how long she had occupied the small restroom. She apologized as she exited, making her way back to her seat.

A movie was playing, but she couldn’t pay attention. It was some sort of romantic comedy, and for some reason, the thought of watching it caused a wave of nausea to pass through her.

They hit more turbulence, but Abby barely noticed. She was lost among her thoughts—trying to organize them, attempting to separate the good from the bad. No matter what she did, though, Logan continued to show his face. And every time, the acidic taste of regret would fill her mouth.

She scolded herself, then, telling herself that she was doing the right thing. Obviously, things weren’t meant to be. There was a reason they had been apart for so long—a reason why he hadn’t come to find her, or why she hadn’t gone to find him.

But something told her she was only lying to herself.

The pilot’s voice soon interrupted her thoughts, announcing that they were making an emergency landing. They were somewhere near Kansas and apparently, there was some sort of unexpected tornado outbreak taking place.

Her thoughts immediately turned to Logan, who she knew to be on a flight somewhere in the area. She wondered if the pilot would state whether there had been any accidents—but then she rolled her eyes, knowing he wouldn’t. It would be irresponsible for a pilot to frighten his passengers with such information.

It was a rough landing. More than once, Abby found herself gripping the armrests and clenching her teeth, waiting for it to be over. When they finally touched the ground, she let out a sigh of relief, her heart thumping loudly in her chest. She needed to get off the plane—she needed to find out if the other flights had made it.

They were let off the plane in an orderly manner, stewardesses explaining that there would be bedding provided for those who were unable to obtain rooms, as well as food vouchers and various other items. But Abby didn’t care. She could only think of one thing.

Her eyes darted around, looking for monitors—for anything that might tell her he was okay.

And as if materializing from a dream, her eyes landed on a familiarly shaggy haired man with a subtle growth of stubble and piercing gray eyes.

It took everything within her not to run and greet him—to jump into his arms and shower him with adoration. “Fancy seeing you here,” he said with that irresistible charm as he leaned against a pillar. Abby closed her eyes and exhaled, thanking whatever Gods there may be that he was all right.

“What are the odds that we get stuck at the same airport?” She asked and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’d say they’re pretty slim.”

“I guess we have a way with bad odds.” She sighed, thinking over the last week as she looked around.

“Don’t even bother trying to get a room—about four other planes have already landed. Everything’s all booked up.” Abby rolled her eyes, looking everywhere but at him. She wondered if it would even be necessary to get a room. It didn’t look that bad out. “And, yes, from what I’ve heard—all flights are grounded indefinitely.”

“Well, isn’t this just poetic.” She shook her head, almost wanting to laugh at the irony. After their big final farewell not more than four hours ago—here they were, practically right back where they started.

“What’s even more poetic…” He held out a key. “Is that I have a room.”

“I don’t need a room.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to give it to you.” She crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing him irritably. “But I was going to offer to share.”

“Like that is going to happen.” And he laughed, shaking his head. “Honestly, Logan. I’d rather sleep just about anywhere than share a room with you.” She certainly didn’t need to put herself through that torture. She was happy that he was safe—overjoyed, even—but that was where she drew the line.

“I’m actually offended.” She rolled her eyes, grabbing her carry-on bag from the floor and beginning to walk through the airport. All around, people were laying claim to chairs and benches.

Well, they couldn’t all be taken. She refused to go to Logan. No way was she going to do that to herself again. She just couldn’t.

But nearly an hour later, she still hadn’t really found a place to call her own. Her stomach grumbled loudly and she wondered when the last time she’d eaten was. She remembered donuts with Logan this morning—

And then, all at once, she gave up.

There was a bar just down the way and Abby sighed, memories of she and Hayley washing over her. They had spent so much time sitting around in the bar back in Boston, waiting for those boys—watching them, flirting with them. Doing everything they could to win them over.

She was already crossing the corridor and making her way inside. It was crowded, but she pushed her way through until she found an empty seat at the bar. She tossed her bag on the floor at her feet, scanning over the menu.

The bartender came over and took her order—a burger and fries, and a beer to go with it.

She didn’t even care that she didn’t drink beer. She didn’t care that she hadn’t had a bar burger and fries probably since the last time she’d done so with Logan, who knew how long ago. She didn’t care that he continued to pop into her mind, as if he actually belonged there.

She didn’t care about any of it.

When her order arrived, she practically chugged the beer before moving on to her food. She needed to stop feeling. That was the solution.

And as the night wore on, the prospect of no longer feeling became more and more obtainable. She poured back drink after drink—after awhile, not even tasting it anymore.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Logan appeared at her side. She looked at him, tilting her head to the side. “You keep doing that.” She said abruptly.