Blessed Tragedy(30)

Looking down at my outfit, I wondered briefly if it was all wrong. Knowing how hot it was supposed to be, I'd decided on a fitted tank top that had an intricate lace back paired with short shorts, a studded belt and ankle boots. It wasn't what I would typically wear, but I didn't think it was any worse than the ridiculous corsets that I was sick to death of wearing.

“You can't let her get to you, baby,” Colton chastised as we turned to the bus corral. “She's trying to get you to f*ck up. Don't give her any ammunition.”

I thought I might get whiplash from how fast my head turned to look at him. “What do you mean 'she's waiting for me to f*ck up'? Is that what you two were talking about earlier?”

I knew she didn't care for me. She'd never made a secret of her feelings, but to hear that she was hoping I'd prove to be the weak link made me want to rip off her pretty little face.

“No, she'd never actually say anything like that but it was obvious she was baiting you. If Jon and I hadn't been there, she might have gotten her way from the sounds of it.” He kissed my temple in a vain attempt to calm me down. “Just...watch what you say and do. That's all.”

He disappeared into the bus but I was too stunned to follow. Once again, my world was crashing down around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Forget the fact that he was my boyfriend, he was my best friend, and I couldn't help but feel like he was siding with her. If he wasn't, he would have told her where to go.

“Ready?” Jon pulled me out of my increasingly depressing thoughts.

“Yeah, more than ever.”

Jon grabbed the keys to the Chevy Silverado from one of the roadies and we spent the next three hours driving around and talking. As much as I didn't want to listen to him tell me I was imagining Tanya's bitterness, I could no longer keep my mouth shut.

I told him everything. How she called Colton little pet names when it was just the two of them, how she found reasons to touch him and the fact that nothing I said or did was ever right in her eyes. I resented the fact I felt like I had to clear it with her before I went to the bathroom or shaved my legs, for fear it would be the wrong move for the band. Once the floodgates opened, there was no holding back.

“Damn, Rain. I knew she was going on an ego trip, but that's f*cking ridiculous.” He wasn't belittling me. It felt good to finally be heard. And that only made me feel worse, knowing I was getting from Jon what I wasn't from Colton.

“Seriously, you have to talk to her. I'll try to get through summer, but something has to change after August.” I hated ultimatums and didn't want him to think I was issuing one, but in a way, that's exactly what I was doing.

“Knock off the shit. I'll talk to her. Don't repeat your little threat to anyone else; we don't need that getting out.” He flinched as soon as the words were spoken. “And I'm not saying that as Jon of Blessed Tragedy. I'm saying that as Jon, your friend. It'd be a f*cking nightmare if it slipped that you'd even thought like that.”

I wrapped my arms around Jon's neck as we sat in the parking lot. “Thanks.”

“Anytime. Now, you'd better get in there and talk to Colt before he gets crazy ideas that we ran off to get married or some shit.”

For the first time since early in the morning, I laughed.



The bus was empty when we returned. I tried to tell myself everyone was probably hanging out enjoying some downtime, getting ready to listen to Shinedown show us all how it was done. Logically, I knew that's where they were. Where they were wasn't the problem. Who all was there was my issue. Was she with them? I wouldn't have put it past her to take it upon herself to be Colton's personal little beer bitch for the night in my absence.

“Hey, you head on over. I'll be out in a few.” I wanted a little time alone to grab a quick shower and change for the night. This was one of the few stops where we'd be able to enjoy the headlining acts and I wanted to enjoy myself. Being alone also gave me time to send a quick text message.



Hey, I miss you. There's something to be said for a simple, anonymous life.



As I dried my hair, the text alert went off on my phone.



Told you that years ago. Miss you too. Everything okay out there? -G

Yes, you did. Things are...things. I guess I just started to appreciate life there without the drama. -M

Still coming this way later this month? -G

Why? You going to organize a field trip? -M

Could happen. I'd definitely earn cool teacher points then. Might see if your brothers want to head over. That cool? -G

Sure. LMK if you're coming, I'll hook you up if I can. -M



It felt good to have a relaxed conversation with someone who expected nothing of me other than friendship. I'd been wrong about the evils of my small hometown. What I thought of as nosy and meddling was care and affection. What I considered controlling was concerned guidance. The problem was, after so many years cursing that life and building this new one, I had no clue how to meld the sides into one life I could live with.

With Shinedown getting ready to take the stage and no one else waiting in the wings for their moment, the atmosphere backstage was truly a big party. Even though we were all technically working, it was like a backyard barbecue with one of the hottest bands around as our entertainment. And thankfully, there was no sign of the bitch by the time I arrived.

Once I made my way through the food line and grabbed a beer, I started looking through the dimly lit area trying to find Colton. I didn't join him right away once I spotted him. Instead, I took a moment to enjoy the view. Like most of the guys, his t-shirt was stuffed into the back pocket of his loose fitting jeans. If I was truly a jealous, insecure woman, I would have had issues with him exposing the tops of his hips and the expanse of lightly coated skin leading from his navel to just below his waistband. Since I'm not that way, even though I have my moments, I imagined every way I could use his partial nakedness to my advantage without leaving the party.

My thoughts of tormenting him until he dragged me back to the bus quickly faded as I approached the group he was talking to. It had been a long time since he'd gotten plastered and I could tell by the way his body swayed that he was well on his way to obliteration tonight.

“Well well, if it isn't my favorite little cloud,” he slurred. “Have fun with Jonny boy today?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, staring at him in disbelief. Was he actually jealous of Jon?

“Whatcha do all afternoon?” he asked. When he tried to pull me close to his side, I resisted. I knew it was the alcohol talking but that was no excuse. He was being an ass in front of people we barely knew.

“Oh, you know...found a deserted park, invited a few groupies and had a wild orgy.”

One of the guys Colton was talking to, I had no clue if he was in one of the other bands or just a fan who'd found his way back, spewed beer all over Colton at my deadpan.

“Seriously, Rain. You f*cking disappeared for hours. No one knew where you were. I'm really not in the mood for any shit tonight.” I couldn't believe he was trying to start a fight with me because I'd gone for a drive with Jon. It might be our downtime, but we all knew damn well any time we were in public, it was show time. Staying somewhat professional at all times is actually one of the crappy things about this job. You can't get into it with anyone, have to be careful what you say and be mindful at all times. You never know who has a smart phone in their hand, waiting for a sound byte or candid picture.

“Stop, Colt. I'm not talking to you about this here. Not while you're drunk.” As much as I wanted to listen to the band, I was seriously debating heading back to the bus instead. Maybe I could still hear them from there without this shit.

“Whatever.” He shrugged, turning back to his other companions like I was no longer there. This was the first time I'd really seen this side of Colton and I had no clue how to react. Even when he'd been upset with me in the past, I couldn't remember feeling the venom in his words and he never tuned me out.

Realizing there was no way to turn the night around, I let Jon and Jared know I was heading back to the buses. Jared offered to come and keep me company but I declined. The last thing I needed was a drunken Colton making accusations about me and the newest member of the band.

There were four new text messages when I grabbed my phone from the bed. Three were from Garrett, the last from Mike.

Will do. You going to find time to come home while you're here? -G

Hey, where'd you go? -G

Maddie, is everything okay? You don't normally disappear on me. Guess I'll wait to hear from you. -G



So, when did you plan on telling us you have a show up here? And why did I hear it from Garrett? We'll be there. Calling Mark to see if he'll come out too. -Michael Neumann



I thought about calling Mike to see how pissed he was that I hadn't told him about the Comstock show. It hadn't been intentional, I was still trying to get used to knowing my family gave a shit about what I did. I decided to wait since my drunken, irrational boyfriend could come back at any time. I didn't need to give Mike anything else to worry about.