Blessed Tragedy(34)

“How's your dad doing?” He asked, finally breaking the silence on morning nine. I looked up, noticing how tired he looked. Apparently, I wasn't the only person not sleeping well. That knowledge didn't make me feel better.

“He's okay,” I shrugged. “They put him on some blood thinners and he isn't great, but he's better.” Mike said our dad resisted going to the doctor after I left, finally giving in when Mike and Matt reminded him that he owed it to me to go. He didn't owe me shit, but if that's what got him to see a cardiac specialist, I can live with that.

“Are you heading over there when we get to Comstock?” His voice was soft as he pushed the scrambled eggs around his plate.

“Planning on it, but I have to see when Mike can come and get me.” It was a three hour drive each way but we had four days off between shows and I wanted to spend as much of that time with Dad as possible. There was no amount of time that would make up for the years we didn't see one another and knowing his heart was weak, I couldn't pass up any opportunity, even if it was only a few hours.

“We can grab the bike as soon as we get there.”

“No, that's okay. Mike already said he'd drive over, I just have to find out when.” The last thing I wanted to do was press my body against Colton's for a three hour ride. Worse yet, that's exactly what I wanted to do. I'd never missed someone so much it physically hurt like this.

“Rain, that's ridiculous. It'll be cheaper on gas and I'll find a hotel somewhere until you're ready to come back.” How could he not see what a bad idea this was?

“I don't know, Colt. I just can't...” I needed to get away from him. As much as the dead air hurt, carrying on a conversation was unbearable. He'd torn my heart out with his words and still he wanted to take care of me. Having never been in this position before, I was unsure how to balance the conflicting emotions.

Colton threw his hands in the air. “Fine, suit yourself. I'm really not the * you've conjured up in your mind.” I flinched as his plate crashed into the stainless steel sink.



Thanks to a well-timed text message, Mike pulled into the gravel parking area creating a tour bus encampment shortly after we arrived. I slumped into the passenger's seat before he could turn off the ignition. The clouds of dust kicked up by the tires seemed symbolic as I watched them build in the mirror.

The blessing and curse of being so much younger than my brother was that we still didn't have a super close relationship. It was a blessing because he didn't feel the need to pepper me with questions about my mood or why Colton wasn't coming home with me. The curse was I really wanted my big brother to wrap me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay. Instead, we both stared out the windshield from Comstock to Lexington, sharing only the slightest pleasantries.

“How's Dad doing?” I asked, unable to take another minute to the divide between us. Communicating with my brother shouldn't be as hard as it is, especially since I felt like we'd made progress when I was home the last time.

“Better. You were right to push. We're all a bunch of stubborn ass men and we learned that from the master.” He reached across the console taking my hand in his. “Doc said he's lucky he hadn't keeled over on the floor before he went in. And he wouldn't have been so lucky if not for you.” I couldn't see Mike's eyes through the mirrored aviator sunglasses perched on his nose, but I could feel them boring into me as we sat at the only stoplight in town.

“Maybe I'm not the stupid little girl you all thought I was,” I said snottily. I knew it wasn't his fault I was in a mood, but it was easier to take it out on him than blow a gasket on the bus. He's my brother; he has to forgive me, right?

“Maddie, no one ever said you're stupid. Selfish, yes. But you already know that so there's no point going over it again.” I crossed my arms tightly over my chest at the reminder of the single word that often described me. “Moo, you're getting past that and I know it. But even you have to admit that you were. You were selfish and just as stubborn, if not more, than any of us guys.”

“What the hell is he doing here?” I snapped, seeing Garrett working in the front lawn with my dad.

Mike flinched at my harsh tone. “Um, I thought you two were friends. I told him you were coming home today and he came over to help Dad with some stuff.”

I shook my head. “No, it's fine. I was just surprised and didn't get much sleep last night. Sorry.” Even Garrett didn't know about the pictures or Colton's accusations that we were a couple. I could only hope whoever was the town busy-body with a direct line to Tanya wasn't lurking about.

“You sure? I can tell him to beat feet if it'll make you feel better.” Mike pulled my body close to his, giving me the comforting hug I wanted from him but couldn't ask for.

“Yeah, it's fine. I'm gonna head upstairs for a bit.” I walked up to my dad and Garrett, giving both of them hugs before excusing myself to get some sleep and a shower.



When I woke up from my nap, I could hear Matt, Mike and Garrett on the back deck talking about baseball. I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail, dug out a t-shirt and denim shorts and made my way outside.

Much to my surprise, Matt stood from his seat as I opened the sliding door and gave me a tight hug. In all my life, I could count on two hands how many times he'd hugged me at all. He whispered thanks in my ear before setting me back on the ground and grabbing a microbrew out of the small cooler next to him.

The only available seat was next to Garrett so I sat down, not wanting to make things awkward with him too. I needed to find time to let him know what had been going on but it wouldn't be when the eldest Neumann boys were in earshot and Colton was within driving distance. We may not be the closest siblings in the world, but I had little doubt that being protective of their little sister was deeply seated in them.

At dinner time, Dad joined us outside and threw steaks on the gas grill. For as long as I could remember, his claim to fame, so to speak, was his prowess on the barbecue and I was looking forward to a tender, juicy steak with dill potatoes and a salad. It sure as hell beat the barbecued chicken I'd become accustomed to at most of our tour stops. It was easy to make in large batches and kept well in Nesco roasters, so it made sense. But chicken every flipping day gets old fast.

Dad still didn't look great, but there was no denying he looked worlds better than he had when I left the last time. His medicine was working and he was watching what he ate, most of the time. And even though he sat with us until long after the sun set, he never took a sip of alcohol. He'd never had a problem with it, mind you, but he did enjoy a snifter of brandy or a good bottle of beer from time to time. Eventually, he made his way inside, reminding my brothers to stay at the house if they kept drinking like they were. Both of them rolled their eyes and simultaneously agreed to the old man's request.



Too many beers to count later, I heard a familiar rumble in the distance. As the sound grew louder, I tried to tell myself there was no way it was what I thought, that I was imagining things in my half-drunken state. When the doorbell rang moments after the noise cut abruptly, I knew I was exactly right.

My body tensed and I looked to Garrett in a moment of panic. Regardless of what was reality, appearances told a different story. We weren't cozy on the loveseat on the patio, but we were comfortable sitting next to one another, laughing and brushing against one another casually.

“Trouble in paradise?” He whispered leaning close enough that Mike wouldn't hear him. Luckily, or unluckily depending on your perspective, Matt was on his way to the front door.

“More like the fifth circle of hell,” I replied, sliding myself to the other side of the seat. I wanted to race to the front of the house, burst through the door and shake Colton, asking him what part of 'I don't want you here' was so hard for him to understand, but that would raise too many questions.

“It's for you,” Matt said, returning to the patio alone. “I wasn't sure if you wanted him to see...” his voice trailed off as his eyes skittered between me and Garrett.

“Screw you, Matt. I can be friends with whoever I want.” I stood too quickly, nearly losing my balance. “I'll go talk to him. I don't know why he's even here,” I muttered, sliding the door open.

With a murderous look on my face, I met Colton in the darkness of the foyer. “Did you need something?” I asked bitterly.

“We need to talk,” he said moving closer to me. I dodged his hand as he reached for my arm.

“I'm trying to enjoy some time with my brothers, Colt. What's so important that it couldn't wait?” I pursed my lips, waiting for his feeble response.

“Rain, you're killing me. Can we please go outside and talk?” The pain I'd become accustomed to still veiled his normally piercing blue eyes.