Be a Doll(112)

But this was coming from left field.

He cleared his throat and scratched at his scruff, another gift for me on our one-year anniversary, the one year marking the day we took that leap of faith to be more than simply spouses in an arranged marriage. He pointed at my hands, barely holding onto the small piece of fabric.

“An idea?’’

“An idea?’’ I echoed and glanced down.

In between my slack fingers laid a tiny white onesie with a funny penguin sewn on the front.

“I love you, Lila,’’ he said, his smile turning more boyish, going at odds with the suit he had on and the aura that exuded from him. It never failed to make me swoon more than I always did when thinking of him or looking at him. “I want everything with you and making a baby with you that would be a piece of you and me? That would be the ultimate gift life could give me.’’ He brushed away a strand of hair hanging in my face and pushed it behind my ear. His fingers caressed my cheek gently, but the simple touch resonated inside me, spreading through me. “Like I said, it’s an idea.’’

“We never talked about babies before.’’

“I know.’’ One of his big hands went to the one still limply holding the onesie and he linked our fingers together, the onesie between our palms. “This is my way of saying, whenever you’re ready I am. You’re the love of my life, Lila, and you make me want things I never thought I would ever want.’’

“Like what?’’ I asked, my smile coming back as my heart settled, swelling with emotions, but beating steadier now.

He smiled down at our linked hands. “Uh, a house outside of New York so we could have a backyard for the children, a dog, vacations to tropical islands so I can lust after your bikini clad body, vacations in the mountains so I can warm you up in front of a fire.’’ His smile turned more peaceful as his eyes fixed on mine. “Grow old with you somewhere peaceful. Everything I want and dream of has you in it. I want everything. I’m a greedy bastard, anybody who knows me is aware of it. I’m not stuck in the past anymore, not since you gave me a future to look forward to.’’

“A baby,’’ I whispered, picturing Mathis with a little baby in his big arms, cuddling and smiling down at a piece of us both, the perfect proof of what our kind of love could create. “Would you be ready to play dolls with the baby if we have a girl?’’

“I played with you, didn’t I?’’ He smirked then and leaned closer to me to give me the kind of kisses I never tired of, the kind that made my heart pitter-patter, the kind that made me press my thighs together and my toes curl.

It took me a really long time and a lot of pain to get a life I dreamed of, and right in the arms of my husband I had no doubt that my dreams hadn’t done my life any justice. My reality was a lot better than any dreams I ever had before meeting Mathis Grimes.





Author’s Babbling


It’s always difficult for me to write this part, but I’ll be honest and say that this is not the hardest part. Oh no! The hardest is to actually write the book, and this huge beast of a novel is no exception.

First, I’d like to thank Jo Raven, my amazing author friend, who has been supporting me while I was writing the first draft of Be A Doll. She never failed to post pictures of Dean, and sometimes of Dean and Sam from Supernatural as a motivation. Seriously, Jensen Ackles makes the best of faces and he’s pretty to look at so it’s always a bonus. :P

Jo, I will always think of this book and Supernatural together from now on, even if the two have nothing in common. You’re a wonderful friend and I’m very lucky our respective books put you on my path.

Let me keep being all sappy by thanking Karen Swart and Jacqueline C. for your input regarding my cover when I was all panicky. I have no idea if others love it, but at least it’s good to know that you do. It only takes a few words to put someone’s mind at ease and ground them.

I also want to thank Phala, Kia, Louise, Lina (I bet I’m forgetting someone so keep in mind I’m writing this just minutes after writing ‘the end’ and my brain is fried) for your kindness and support. It’s so great to see you following me and cheering me along the way. I hope this new book doesn’t disappoint.

Because I wrote half of this book during November with NaNoWriMo, I have a special ‘thank you’ to address the Facebook group NaNoWriMo2016 Freak Out and its members for the writing sprints that pushed me to write more than I would have otherwise, for the support and encouragement and the overall friendship that made some days more exciting to write.

When you launch a book, you can’t do much without the help and hard work of bloggers. I want to list all of you for your help, your reviews, your promo posts and overall greatness, but it’d be a list way too long. You are amazing and your love of books is another reason that makes me want to write and publish more books. I can’t wait to discover more of your book recommendations. After all, as any bookworm I’m always looking to add more books to my Kindle. Apparently, over two thousand isn’t enough.

Last, but not least, I want to say a big THANK YOU to Ellie. I know you’re currently editing this right now, so I’ll keep it short. I’m sure you’re eager to finish this monster book. Thank you for your work, for your dedication to the authors you work with and for always telling me you’ll find a way to fit me in your insanely busy schedule. You rock! (Let’s hope this book does well now). :D