Atonement(6)
Colin ground out his cigarette before he stared into my eyes intensely yet again. “Did they ever catch the guy who did it?”
I shook my head. “The police don’t even know if it was a guy. According to them, it could have been a man or a woman and they aren’t sure because no one saw anything. We don’t even know what kind of vehicle the person was driving. My mom spent a lot of money and offered a reward but no one came forward. It’s just…an unsolved case. I suppose maybe that is why it’s been so hard on all of us because there hasn’t been any closure.”
He seemed sympathetic and offered a small smile. “Well, if you believe in karma, who ever did this will get what’s coming to them. It was a horrible crime and you wonder what kind of person could do that and continue to…walk around as if nothing happened. It’s pretty disgusting to be honest.”
Colin clapped his hands together as if to change the subject and looked me over. The way he appraised me was enough to make me blush and I just hoped my skin wasn’t the color of crimson. “Listen, I go to Europe every year, usually at the end of May. It clears my head and I love to travel. How about we go together?”
His question definitely caught me off guard. Why would he ask me when most guys his age went to Europe for one reason only: alcohol, dope and all the * they could get their hands on. Taking a chick with him would only cramp his style and although Drew and I had a “friends with benefits” arrangement, we’d also once been a couple and I wasn’t a “friends with benefits” type of woman. Our situation was unique but it would never happen with anyone else.
It had nothing to do with me being a prude and everything to do with me thinking sex was something special. I wasn’t naïve and realized having a healthy sexual attitude was only natural. It was a part of life but I was also getting my physical pleasure from someone and I didn’t intend to take on someone else with such a casual and cavalier attitude.
So many different issues arose when sex came into the equation and no matter how careful two people decided to be, there was always the possibility of pregnancy. I wasn’t the type who could ever have an abortion though I didn’t judge friends who had made that difficult choice. Their hard-earned lessons had taught me I would never sleep with anyone I couldn’t envision as the potential father of my children. Right or wrong, Drew was a good guy and I knew if we ever did have that kind of error, he would stay with me, marry me and help raise the child we’d created. I didn’t know many people who could offer that kind of assurance to me.
If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure I would have slaughtered Colin with the weathering stare that crossed my face. “I don’t think so. I specifically think this is something I have to do by myself. I am not completely inept you know and I am not your average loud American. I have visited Western Europe plenty of times and I think I can manage just fine on my own.”
He swigged from his Beck’s beer. Apparently, he wasn’t a “wine” guy either. “I think we might be having some communication issues. I meant I usually go by myself as well but I think it would be cool to go with someone else. My itinerary is always pretty detailed and I enjoy visiting. Last year, I went to my grandfather’s birthplace in County Shannon and my grandmother’s birthplace in this small town outside of Frankfurt. It was amazing.
“This year, I want to stay city bound but I plan to go to France, Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium. Specifically, I was thinking I’d start in Paris, work my way down to Marseille and Nice, then go north to Strasbourg, take the train to Munich and go far east as Berlin, then head west to Hamburg, work my way down to Amsterdam and then to Bruges, go on to Brussels and then back to Paris for the last few days. That way we could land and depart at Charles de Gaulle and get rail passes for the rest. We’re both EU citizens so we’ll get them for a steal if we buy them early enough.”
I desperately wanted another glass of wine and wished I had grabbed the bottle of Pinot Noir before I headed out here. A little inebriation never hurt to soothe the awkward moments in a conversation with a hot guy I barely knew. “Well, looks like you have everything already planned out so why do you need me to come with you?”
“Well, for one, I don’t want to do Couchsurfers this time around. I know some great people in all the places I mentioned and we can catch up with them but I was definitely thinking Airbnb instead. Sleeping on someone’s sofa is great when you’re twenty-five but I’m almost thirty—shit, come to think of it, my birthday is late July and I will be thirty—and it would be nice to travel with someone else. Sometimes it gets lonely and you just don’t want some random person in your bed. Oh yeah, I speak Dutch and German fluently. What about you?”