As She Fades(12)

Jerking open the door to Crawford’s room, I stepped inside and then immediately froze. That wasn’t Knox’s voice or the back of Knox’s head. That was Slate. Reading. To Crawford.

Stepping closer, I listened to his deep drawl and tried to figure out why he was in Crawford’s room reading to him. Reading to the kids was one thing, but this was something altogether different.

“Looks like the SEC is set up this year. Football should be interesting. Even your Vols look good. It’s been a while since that happened.”

He was holding a sports magazine and talking to Crawford. Like they were friends. Like he cared about Crawford.

I took another step, and he turned this time to look at me. Then that slow, lazy grin spread across his face. “Well, it looks like your girl got here. Looking pretty as ever.”

I wouldn’t blush at his compliment. “Why are you here?” I blurted out, then wished I hadn’t. It sounded rude. “What I mean is, where is Knox?”

Slate leaned back and smirked. “Knox got a call and needed to run somewhere. Sounded important. He’d seen me in the hall earlier, so he came and asked me if I’d finish up reading.”

He had something important to run off and do? And left Crawford with a stranger to read to him? Knox wasn’t looking good today.

“Well, thank you. If he’d woken me up this morning before he left, I could have read to him. Not sure what his deal is today.”

Slate shrugged. “I didn’t mind. Besides, he mentioned you were sleeping late and that was rare. He worries about you, is all. A brother thing, I guess.”

I didn’t want to be worried about. I was fine! I was walking around and breathing on my own, so I was absolutely fine! Crawford was not.

“He needs to back off. They all do,” I muttered.

Slate closed the magazine. “Good luck with that. Family can be a bitch even when they’re trying to do what’s best.” Then he stood up. “I’ll leave you with him. I have a poker game to go finish with my uncle.”

He’d left his uncle to come read to Crawford. He might be a playboy, but he was also a good guy. The world was bigger than the little protective bubble I’d been raised in. Things like sex didn’t define people. They could be good and not be Sunday School material.

“Thank you for reading to him.”

Slate nodded. “My pleasure. Anytime you need help, just give me a shout.”

I watched as he walked out of the room. He really did have his own special swagger. It was hard not to watch. The bad-boy persona fit him well. But now I had been given a peek into his heart. And apparently it was pretty big. Not self-centered like I had thought. His uncle, the kids, now Crawford.

I owed him an apology. I just wasn’t sure how to give him one. He might not even know I had judged him so unfairly. I turned my attention back to Crawford. He’d like Slate. I was positive Slate would entertain him. Crawford wasn’t one to judge people.

“You look good this morning. Enjoy your update on the SEC football season?” I asked, knowing I wouldn’t get an answer. I had the book I was reading to him, but for now I just wanted to talk.

“It’ll be time to go to college soon. My parents have already started in on me. Especially Mom. I just can’t imagine going without you.” I wanted to beg him to open his eyes, but I didn’t. I had done that enough.

“Staying here is all I can think of right now. Being next to you. Seeing you. It’s what I need to cope. I miss you, Crawford. I miss you so much.”

The door opened behind me and Crawford’s mother walked in. She frowned upon seeing me and that hurt. Having me around bothered her, and all I could figure was that it was because I’d walked away from that crash and he didn’t.

“Where’s Knox?” she asked.

“He had to leave early. I stepped in to take over until you returned.”

I didn’t tell her about Slate in case she wouldn’t be okay with that. He’d done a good thing, although Knox had better have a good excuse as to why he’d left early.

“Fine. I’ll take over now. See you at four,” she said.

I looked at Crawford. I wanted to say more, but I was also afraid to. I stood and tried to remember a time when seeing me didn’t make Juliet frown. Back when Crawford was full of life. Back when we had a future planned.

“I spoke with your mother. You need to go to college, Vale. We don’t know when Crawford will wake up and you sitting here every day isn’t going to make it happen faster. He would want you to go to college. Live the life y’all had planned and just come visit.”

I didn’t expect to hear this from her. I assumed she wouldn’t forgive me if I left for college without him. She was falling apart daily and he was her world. My leaving would be a betrayal. Didn’t she see it that way?

“I don’t think I can leave him.”

She straightened her shoulders that were now so often slumped over. “I’m not your mother and I can’t force you to do anything. But when Crawford wakes up, he will not want to know you wasted your life up here waiting on him. He’ll blame himself for it. I don’t want him to awaken to anything that will upset him. Think about him instead of yourself for a change. You always did make him do what you wanted. He never got to make his own decisions if he wanted to keep you happy.”