Acts of Violet(96)

CAMERON FRANK: What about you, Quinn? Are you angry at Violet?

QUINN DWYER: For me, it’s less anger, more frustration. I wish I could’ve spent more time with her as a kid and gotten to know her as a grown-up. I’m still uncovering these different sides of her, some of them less than stellar, some of them surprisingly generous. It’s frustrating that I don’t get to reconcile the legend with the real person, and that I might never know what happened to her. I tell myself—and my parents tell me, all the time—that it’s nothing any of us did, that we can’t blame ourselves for Violet being gone. Sometimes I don’t buy it and think our family wasn’t enough—we weren’t enough—for her to stay. Usually, though, I tell myself if we weren’t enough, that’s her problem. From everything I’m learning about my aunt, it seems like nothing and no one could ever be enough for her.

CAMERON FRANK: You wouldn’t be the first to say that.

Sasha, you know I need to ask about Cyndi Yanoff’s birthday party.

SASHA DWYER: Didn’t Eleanor give you all the dirt on that already? She’s got a freakishly good memory, so I don’t know what I could add.

CAMERON: I’m curious about your impression of the show with Ace. Was that the first big illusion you ever saw your sister perform?

SASHA DWYER: It was. Most of what Violet did around the house was the usual: coin and card magic, cups and balls, brass rings, silk scarves, you get the idea.

One thing I want to clear up: Ace lied about never meeting Violet before that birthday party. We saw him perform in Brigantine one summer when we visited our uncle Slava and got to meet him afterward. Violet showed him some tricks, and Ace took an immediate interest in her. He wanted her to join a junior magic league, help her develop a routine, and get her performing in front of an audience.

Our parents were divided on the idea. Mom was worried it wasn’t a “normal” thing for a girl to do and would be too expensive. Dad was also skeptical but open to the idea if Violet would dedicate herself to being the best at it. They needed some kind of proof that it would be worth allowing Violet to pursue magic.

CAMERON FRANK: Was Cyndi Yanoff’s birthday party that proof?

SASHA DWYER: Look, it’s not fun for me to ruin the mythology surrounding my sister. But it’s also not fun to see naive people believe a story as truth without knowing all the facts. The truth is, she did meet Ace prior to that party, and she could have rehearsed a routine with him.

In any case, after that, every other weekend, Dad and Uncle Slava would take Violet around to the magic group meetings in Philly, North Jersey, and New York. If Slava had a good week at the poker tables, he’d take her to a magic shop and get her books, tricks, props. If he had a bad week, he’d still bring her a few decks of cards—it seemed like she went through a new deck every day.

Ace started her on more advanced card and coin magic, but when he found out she was double-jointed, he taught her some escapology, too. When Dad wasn’t on chauffeur duty, he was making costumes for Violet. Imagine a burly Russian man sewing a straitjacket for a child.

QUINN DWYER: I wish we still had that stuff.

SASHA DWYER: It might be in the basement.

CAMERON FRANK: Did either of you ever have an interest in performing magic?

QUINN DWYER: I never wanted to learn magic because I didn’t want to ruin the joy of watching it. Also, I have terrible coordination, so I’d probably suck at it.

SASHA DWYER: For me, it was less about the magic and more about inclusion, being part of a club with an oath of secrecy. Violet did let me join her in a couple of the meetings, but I found them alienating. No offense to any magicians, but it was boring as hell. How many possible ways can you guess my card or make a coin vanish and reappear? And they spend ages on this stuff. You know what it’s like? It’s like listening to someone play the bagpipes. If they’re bad at it, it’s torture. If they’re good, after the first song, it all sounds the same, and you’re still listening to the bagpipes.

CAMERON FRANK: It doesn’t sound like something you enjoyed even on a spectator level.

SASHA DWYER: I think I let all my sister issues get tangled up in it for a long time. But I have to admit, I do have a newfound admiration for Violet’s work now.

CAMERON FRANK: Where did that change of heart come from?

SASHA DWYER: My daughter. My husband. My therapist. My friend Sally … Maybe even this podcast.

CAMERON FRANK: It means so much to hear you say that.

SASHA DWYER: You’re welcome.

CAMERON FRANK: Sasha, before we wrap up, could you share one more story about Violet that nobody’s ever heard before?

QUINN DWYER: I made him ask that one. It’s gotta be one I never heard before, either.

SASHA DWYER: [faux-exasperated sigh] Okay. There was one time in high school, we cut class to go to the diner for burgers. We had a booth in the back, and when no one was around, Violet put her hands flat on the table and told me to watch my plate. A second later, one of my french fries wiggled then rose up about a foot and floated over to her. She leaned over and ate it.

QUINN DWYER: No way.

CAMERON FRANK: How did you react to that?

SASHA DWYER: I said “fuck you” and nearly pissed myself.

Violet laughed at me, said something like “I finally got you.”

It couldn’t be real, though. I racked my brain for a logical explanation, I searched every inch of that table, but there were no strings or any other devices that would’ve made it possible.