Absolutely Unforgivable(96)

They played their version of the song for us on the ride home. They had done a great job piecing the final song together but still I wasn’t so sure if I liked that they released it without talking to us first. That was our love song.

“Billy and Stacy are the absolute biggest thing out there right now,” Trista proudly told us. “You are megastars. The house is mobbed with a legion of fans outside of the gate every day, all night and all day. They never leave.”

I squeezed Billy’s hand. I was nervous about all of this. I was happy that Billy and his band were finally having the huge success I really always knew they would, but the thought of all of those screaming girls worried me and the possibility of another crazy man scared me to death. That probably worried me most of all.

I leaned in and put my head on Billy’s chest as Brick and Trista continued to talk about all that was going on with the requests for interviews, the offer to sign the band with a major record label, and all of the merchandise they were moving from the website. Billy didn’t say anything to Trista and Brick. He listened to what they had to say, smiled and nodded, but no words actually left his mouth.

I did speak up though. I reminded them that Billy still wasn’t one hundred percent and he had months of recovery ahead of him, so any thoughts of him doing anything but staying at home in bed could leave their little minds because it wasn’t going to happen. Now was my turn to take care of Billy and I wasn’t going to let them try and force him into performing before he was ready. I almost lost the love of my life and I wasn’t going to risk his health and well-being for a few bucks. No amount of money in the world was worth that.

When we got home Billy and I went into his room and closed the door behind us. We were going to be alone, truly alone for the first time in a long time.

We didn’t tell anyone about the baby. It was still too early for that. But Billy did insist on going with me and when the doctor examined me; and we found out I was only a few weeks along, as the nurse had thought. He would do a more thorough exam on my next appointment in two weeks but for now it looks like my due date was going to be July 23rd.

Because I was so small it was easy to hide my growing baby bump by wearing loose clothes. But Christmas was fast approaching and that meant two things. First it meant that we were going back home to see my family and if that wasn’t enough stress, we had also agreed to do an interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. I didn’t really want to but Trista had been bugging us about it non-stop and I felt kind of bad that the rest of the band had to put their own lives on hold while Billy recovered.

Billy had been feeling much better for a while now and performing one song and doing an interview was Okayed by his doctors, so I felt like I had to agree.

The real problem with doing the interview was that by then I would be about sixteen weeks along and I didn’t know how I was going to hide my ever-growing belly. I was in really great shape and had a small frame so chances are I wasn’t going to be showing a lot at sixteen weeks but there would still be a noticeable bump. I hadn’t let anyone else know I was pregnant yet, so I was on my own to find a dress that would cover my stomach.

I searched online for hours trying to find the perfect dress. When I finally found it, I was ecstatic. I found it at a prom dress store, of all places. It was strapless and the top part was all white sequins and was heart shaped. That worked out perfectly because my breasts were starting to grow and that style would bring attention to them instead of my stomach. The bottom part of the dress was made out of bright red tulle that poofed out. The dress had a high waist that was brought together by a huge red flower and that meant my entire stomach would be covered by the flow of the skirt fabric.

We would fly into Los Angeles a week before Christmas to tape the show. Ellen was having a big special so she was having a lot of guests that day, which was great because that meant our segment was only a small part. Hopefully we would be in and out and then we could be on our way to Oklahoma so that Billy could meet my parents. And we could tell them about the baby. I really wanted to tell my parents before the rest of the world. I wanted that more than anything but sometimes things don’t always work out like planned.

While we were sitting in the green room, Trista offered everyone some eggnog that the show had provided. I started to take a drink but when I put it up to my nose and took a whiff I could smell the alcohol in it. I was about to put it back down but Billy jumped up and took it from me. “There’s alcohol in that!”

The room fell silent. Trista looked at Billy, who was holding the eggnog glass in his hand and then back at me. She furrowed her brow and then asked, “Why do you care if there is liquor in the eggnog?”