A Walk Along the Beach(71)

“Daddy…”

“No, please let me finish.”

Seeing how hard it was for him to speak of our mother, I moved closer and sat in the chair next to his. Seated, we were eye level with Harper.

“After we buried your mom, it didn’t seem more than a blink of an eye and we learned Harper had leukemia. Getting hit with that news was too much for me to take. I’d failed Claire and then I’d failed Harper.”

“No…” Harper stopped him. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s a father’s job to see to the welfare of his family. First Claire and then my sweet baby girl and I could do nothing. I let you all down, and honey, I am so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Harper whispered.

“Willa, you carried the load that was mine. I was selfish and unfair, a weakling when you needed me to be strong. If it wasn’t for you our entire family would have imploded.”

    My throat was thick. I leaned toward our father, and he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed.

“I’m here,” he said. “You need me, you call, and I’ll come. You two girls and your brother are my world. I’m nothing without you. I’ll never touch a bottle of liquor again; you have my word on that.”

“Dad.”

“No, I mean it. I went back to AA and have a sponsor. I can’t do this alone, and I know it. I’ve got God on my side and a whole meeting full of men and women who have made it and are here to help me along the way. I’m finished burying my pain in the bottom of a bottle. The only thing alcohol has given me is more grief, more self-pity, more headaches, and more wrong turns. I’m on the right path now. I’m ready to be the father I should have always been.”

“Love you, Dad,” Harper said.

“Love you,” I repeated.

He nodded. “Lucas and I had this talk a while back, said I’d give the same one to you two. Told him to love his wife the same way I loved Claire and he assured me he already did.”

He stood then, and, leaning down, kissed Harper’s cheek. “Rest well, baby girl. I’m meeting Lucas and Chantelle for dinner.” He looked at me. “Join us, Willa. Your dad’s treating.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll stay with Harper a while longer.”

This was the best conversation I’d had with our dad in more years than I could count. Maybe ever.

I could see that his visit had exhausted Harper, and she quickly drifted off to sleep. I welcomed the solitude and settled back in the comfortable chair, tucking my feet beneath me. My head swam with gratitude for the turnaround our father had made. His steps toward making restitution showed his determination to carve a new path. Knowing and loving him, I was convinced he was sincere and hoped he would pull through, no matter what the future held.

    Seeing that Harper was resting comfortably, I left the hospital around nine. Lucas agreed to come get me. Before I headed back, Dr. Carroll found me and said Harper was talking less and seemed to tire even more quickly in the last couple of days. I wasn’t sure what that meant and was too afraid to ask. Lucas and Chantelle were talking to Dad when I entered the apartment. They were happy, animated, chatting away. They greeted me warmly when I arrived.

“Did you pick up dinner at the hospital?” Chantelle asked.

I nodded. By the time I’d gone down to the cafeteria, the choices were few. I’d ended up with an apple and a cup of lukewarm vegetable soup. It was plenty.

“How’s Harper?”

“Sleeping.”

The call came in the middle of the night. It must have been around two. I didn’t bother to check the time when I reached for my phone, noticing only that it was the hospital.

“Yes,” I said, instantly alert.

Because Dad was sleeping in the spare room, I was on the sofa. As if aware a call in the middle of the night wouldn’t be good news, both Lucas and Chantelle came out of their bedroom.

Chantelle tied the sash around her silk robe and Lucas stood bare-chested in flannel bottoms, waiting, listening, their eyes steady on me, waiting.

My eyes held theirs as I listened, gasped, and covered my mouth, holding back the confusion and fear.

“I was with her only a few hours ago,” I argued. What could possibly have happened to change everything so quickly?

The nurse made no sense. Her words were plain enough, but I couldn’t take in what she was saying.

“Yes…thank you for letting us know.” I ended the call.

Dad stood in the doorway leading to the spare bedroom. “Willa,” he said, “what’s happened?”

    It took me a moment to answer as I mentally reviewed the short conversation. “When I left, the nurse told me Harper was stable and resting comfortably.”

“That’s what you said earlier,” Dad reminded me.

“She’s being moved to ICU.”

“What?” Lucas asked, finding it as hard to assimilate as I had.

With no time to lose, I grabbed my jeans.

“You’re going to the hospital?” Dad asked. “Now?”

Nodding, I shoved my legs into my pants as quickly as my body could move. “Harper asked that I come right away.”

“I’m going with you,” Dad insisted.