A Walk Along the Beach(68)

I was frozen in place; it was all I could do to take in a breath.

“I don’t want to leave,” he said, looking miserable. “I tried to get an extension, have the magazine hold the article until the following month, but the editor refused.”

Heading back to the bedroom, I reached for my clothes, dressing with my back to him, eager to leave.

“I realize the timing is bad. If I could put this off, I would.”

“So you said,” I managed, eager to be on my way before I lost control and said something I’d regret.

“Please, Willa, don’t be angry…I probably should have said something sooner. I’m sorry, sorrier than you know.”

“It’s fine,” I said, doing my best to hide my feelings. “You have no obligation to me or my family. We’ve only been dating a few months. This situation is with my family, not yours.”

As far as I was concerned, we were finished. This was his life, his profession. He left for weeks on end to places any sane person would avoid, risking his health and his safety. His camera was his mistress. The time had come for me to wake up and accept the truth. This relationship was not going to work for me. Perhaps I was a coward not to break it off right then. The temptation was strong, but I didn’t want to lash out impulsively. When we next talked, I’d be able to think and speak without emotions clouding what needed to be said.

    As soon as I dressed, Sean drove me into town. The silence between us was as heavy as a concrete wall.

When we arrived at Bean There, I climbed out of the car and leaned into the open window on the passenger side. “Thank you,” I said stiffly, letting it go with that. He started to say something, but I turned away before he had the chance.

“Call me once you’re back in Seattle,” he called after me.

I ignored him and headed toward my shop.

I entered Bean There and felt a collective sigh from both the staff and the customers. Everyone wanted an update on Harper, but no one had the courage to ask.

“I left Harper yesterday afternoon in good spirits.” That was a bit of an exaggeration.

Shirley gave me a hug. She looked tired and I couldn’t blame her. Since I’d been gone, she’d carried the weight of responsibility for the baking and bookkeeping, plus everything else: schedules, payroll, customer service, ordering supplies, and morale.

“How are you holding up?” she asked, automatically handing me a cup of coffee and a breakfast roll.

“Okay.” That, too, was an exaggeration. Worse now that I’d mentally ended things with Sean.

Shirley had emailed me the ledger entries so I could keep track of how the business was doing. Revenues were down, which was to be expected, I suppose. She suggested we add pecan rolls to the menu and commented that pumpkin spice was the current bestseller in the flavor category. We discussed a few strategies that would boost sales when I was away. While with Harper, my attention hadn’t been on the business. I wasn’t paying near enough the attention I should have been.

    After about a half hour, Shirley asked what had to be her most pressing question. “Do you know how much longer you will be in Seattle?”

I didn’t know and admitted as much. “I…can’t say.” I realized my being away from the business had gone on far longer than anyone had anticipated.

“The thing is,” she said, looking down at her hands, “I don’t know if I can continue filling in for you. I’m working all hours of the day. I want to help, Willa, you know that. But it was never my intention to come on full-time.” Reluctance weighed down her voice.

“You’ve done far and above anything I could have asked.” One option would be for me to close the business until matters with Harper were settled. No one else was capable of stepping in for me other than Shirley. It had been seamless with the two of us working in tandem, her filling in two days a week. I couldn’t continue to ask her to work as many hours as I did. When I’d hired her, it was for twenty hours a week, not fifty to sixty.

“Can you manage for another couple of weeks?” I asked, my heart in my throat.

She hesitated and then nodded. “I suppose, but no longer. I’m really sorry, Willa.”

“Don’t be. I understand.”

Shirley’s face betrayed her regret. “What will you do?”

I shrugged. My options were few. “I’m not sure. Winter is slower anyway, so it makes sense to close for the time being.” I hated to do it; financially, it would be devastating. But what choice did I have?

Mentally I reviewed my savings account. I’d need to make rent for both the shop and the apartment. I’d started to build a small nest egg, hummingbird-size, that would carry me one month, possibly two.

    A huge knot cramped my stomach with the reality of my situation. While I could be optimistic, in every likelihood I would need to close Bean There for good. Immediate tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away.

Shirley reached for my hand and gave it a squeeze. Maybe it was time I moved away from Oceanside. Maybe I should think about living in Seattle. The girl who worked the hospital cafeteria did a horrible job with the lattes. I could get a job there and…

Joelle knocked against the office door. “Sorry to interrupt,” she said. “Dr. Annie heard you were in town and wondered if you had a few minutes.”