A Walk Along the Beach(69)

“Of course.”

Patting my hand, Shirley stood. “I’ll leave the two of you to talk.”

Shirley returned to the kitchen and Annie came into the office. “Willa,” she said, and exhaled as if she’d been holding in her breath. “It’s good to see you. Can you update me on Harper’s condition?”

As best as I could, I replayed the events of the last few weeks, Lucas and Chantelle’s wedding being the highlight. I told her about John and his determination to help Harper. For the first time that morning, I smiled, relaying the obvious devotion the doctor and my sister had for each other.

Annie listened intently, nodding now and again, frowning at other times. When I finished, she asked, “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.”

She shook her head as though she didn’t believe me. “How are you really?”

“Fine,” I said again, and burst into tears. It was too much. I was losing my sister and my relationship with Sean had reached a dead end. He didn’t know it, but the handwriting was on the wall.

    Annie stood and wrapped her arms around me, holding on to me tightly. “That’s what I thought.”

“I want to believe Harper will beat this. She did the first time, but it’s much, much worse now.”

“I hope you realize you can’t keep her alive by the force of your own will,” Annie whispered.

Someone else had said that and I’d ignored it, refusing to believe I wasn’t the one keeping Harper alive by wishing and believing it. That was nuts. I held no such power over my sister’s cancer.

Or did I?

Annie was able to stay only a few minutes, as she’d left patients waiting at the clinic, but she’d wanted a personal update when she heard I was in town. Not knowing how long I’d be around, she took the chance I was available.

After Annie left, I talked to the two girls who manned the front of the shop. Joelle was a longtime friend of Harper’s and had worked for me before she started at Oceanside Fitness. She was taking classes to become a physical therapist. Working part-time for me while Harper was in Seattle had put a lot of stress on her. I thanked her and Leesa, who backed her up.

Dad arrived just after noon. He looked good. Better than he had at any time that I could remember since we’d lost Mom.

“You ready?” he asked.

“I am.” I reached for my purse and my overnight bag and headed to the car.

I looked longingly at the ocean. “Would you give me a minute?” I asked my father.

“Sure. No problem.”

I walked over to the beach, removed my shoes, and dug my feet into the cool October sand. Walking along the beach had always had the power to help me clear my mind and soothe my soul. Breathing in the briny scent of the wind, I held it in my lungs, comforted by the familiar smell and taste of it. A wave crashed against the shore, wiping out my footprints. The ebb and flow of change, of letting go, of moving forward and seeing everything wiped away like that single wave beating against the sand.

    Knowing Dad was waiting for me, I stayed only long enough to find my center before I brushed the sand from my feet and slipped on my shoes. I hurried back to Dad, who stood waiting by the car.

My stay in town was brief but telling. So telling, especially when it came to my relationship with Sean. With my heart in my throat, I wondered how much longer I would be able to hold myself together.





CHAPTER 26





Willa


On the long drive back to Seattle, Dad was in a talkative mood. He had nearly two months’ sobriety and was feeling good about himself.

Being that I had been the one to look after Dad when our mother died, I was afraid what might happen when he saw Harper. He’d seen her only one time since she’d been admitted, and that was for Lucas and Chantelle’s wedding. Harper had declined since then, and I didn’t want it to shock him.

I thought to prepare him, but couldn’t get a word in, as he talked nearly nonstop, filling me in on his life. I’d never known my father to be chatty or this open. Despite my heavy heart, I enjoyed seeing him this way. His chatter helped me keep my mind off Sean, Bean There, and what we faced with Harper.

“I’ve been eating better, too,” he said, “healthy stuff. Harper told me about this drink she concocted with all those seeds and germs and spinach. Sounded dreadful. Told her if she added beer I might be interested.” He laughed at his own joke. “Tried it without the beer and it isn’t half bad. Even ate nonfat Greek yogurt and a salad for lunch last week.”

    “Good for you, Dad.”

“I’ve been getting extra hours at the casino, too.”

I was pleased to see him taking an interest in his well-being.

“I’m putting a little money aside, so if you ever need help, you let me know.”

“I’ll do that.” As tempting as it was, I wouldn’t take his money to keep Bean There open. Whatever my father had managed to accumulate probably wouldn’t be enough to keep me solvent for longer than a week or two. I didn’t want to make my problems his. This was my business, and its success or failure was on my shoulders and no one else’s.

As we drew closer to Seattle and got tangled up in the heavy flow of traffic, dread settled over me. I hadn’t realized how depressed I’d become until we neared the hospital. With everything in me, I wanted to remain outside; breathe in the fresh air, look at the sky, forget that my sister was inside, battling for her life.