Within These Wicked Walls(57)

“I won’t miss how cold it is,” said Kelela, her tone especially sharp today. It should’ve been ludicrous, but she looked beautiful in her high pink ponytail and matching pink lips. “Have you done any cleansing at all?”

At this point I knew better than to get upset over Kelela’s prodding. Anyway, I had plenty else to be upset about.

“As long as the Evil Eye is still present,” I said, “it’s not going to get any warmer. But the focus now is to cleanse Magnus.”

“Well, that’s excellent news.” And then Esjay and Kelela went about dinner as if that were the end of the subject.

I chewed on my lip. “So, we’ll need a volunteer to make eye contact with Magnus and draw out the Evil Eye.”

It was equally fascinating and discouraging to watch Esjay’s expression drop as I spoke.

“Kelela,” he said, standing quickly, and it was the most severe I’d ever heard his voice. “Don’t let Magnus look at you. Bow your head as you get up.”

“Esjay,” she protested, as if embarrassed by his behavior, but did as she was told. “We only just got here.”

Magnus popped up, wiping away stray tears. “Wait, you’re leaving?” he asked, a slight squeak of panic at the end.

“It won’t be just anyone.” I held up my hand, standing. “It has to be a willing volunteer, who’s fully aware they’ll be in the line of danger.”

“That’s a death sentence,” Esjay said, taking Kelela’s arm to prompt her to her feet. “You’ll never find someone to cooperate. Come, Kelela.” And he guided his sister toward the exit.

“We have to try,” I said, following behind him. “With the right preparation and a controlled environment, I don’t see why it shouldn’t work.”

“Of course, try. We’ve come too far to give up now. No, Kelela.” He opened the front door and made her walk out, despite her protests about being hungry. “Wait for me in the coach.” He shut the door behind her, taking deep, slow breaths before turning back to me. “I’m not going to be part of this. I’m sure you can understand why.”

It was such a stark change from when I first met him. To go from full support, dining under one roof, offering his own sister in marriage … to wanting nothing to do with it at all? It was irritating, to be honest. And it didn’t seem just.

“People have died in this house,” I said, forcing my voice not to sound harsh. “Not vanished. Died. You didn’t stop hiring servants when the first one disappeared, did you? All of them knew the risks. Whoever this brave person is, they will, too.”

“And it’ll only take one more dead person to cleanse Magnus, is that what you’re trying to say?” It was strange to hear Esjay sound almost aggressive. He opened the door. “If you need anything, let me know. But I don’t want any progress reports on this. I don’t want details. Just tell me when it’s over.” He went to leave, then paused. “And tell Magnus I’m sorry. Kelela was going to come over to say good-bye before she left for France, but due to the circumstance I think it’s better she doesn’t.” He hesitated, as if he had more to say. And then he left, shutting the door behind him.

I stood, staring at the door. God help me. And then took a deep breath and walked calmly back into the dining room.

“They left,” Magnus said, slouching slightly in his chair.

“It’s okay.” I took my seat again, taking his hand.

“I heard Esjay. They’re not coming back.” He slouched further, sliding down to sit on the floor under the table. “I think I’m going to die.”

I shoved his chair out of the way so I could get to him. “You’re not going to die.”

“That’s right,” he added bitterly, digging his knuckles into his eyes, “I can’t die. The Evil Eye won’t let me.”

“We’re going to get a volunteer, Magnus. Everything will be okay.”

“How? No one will come near here, let alone inside to be killed.” He lay down, pressing his palms to his eyes. “Oh God. The room’s spinning. I want to die.”

“You have to calm down—”

“Calm down?” he shouted, tears running down the sides of his face. “You rejected me. My only friends on the outside abandoned me. It’s only a matter of time before Peggy does, too. You might as well kill me now.”

My stomach twisted at the mention of my villainy. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Where’s your knife?”

I leaned down and tapped him in the forehead. He yelped like a startled puppy, swatting my hand away. “Stop it, Magnus. I’m not going to kill you.”

He was panicked, his breath coming in quick huffs. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be alone?”

His words sent a thin, needle’s stab through my stomach and out my spine. Wandering the streets. Checking over my shoulder. Having no one to rely on for … weeks at a time. I didn’t just have an idea of what it was like. I knew. Only, it wasn’t a burden I had the luxury to make room for.

“Magnus.” I spoke firmly but calmly as I sat down beside him. I stroked the line from his forehead, between his eyes, down his nose, and back again, shushing him gently. “You need to calm down now. All right? Calm. Down. Breathe.”