When Everything Is Blue(72)

We invite Gloria to eat with us, and she comments on how good the food is, and how she didn’t know about Paula’s before I introduced her to it. She says she’s developed quite a taste for it, though her hips could probably do without. We chat easily about the goings on of Saint Ann’s—there’s a talent show coming up, and we tease Uncle Theo about his talent. He glowers at us. Not Chris, though. For Chris, he’s all smiles. I tell Gloria about yesterday’s skate competition. At one point she mentions Manuel in passing, and Uncle Theo points to the calendar on the wall, which has the seven days of a week with big red X’s over the boxes under Saturday and Sunday.

After a while, Uncle Theo announces that he’s tired and wants to take a nap. We condense the leftovers into one container for Gloria to hide in the staff fridge and throw the trash away. When we go to leave, Chris pulls Uncle Theo in for another hug.

“I missed you,” my uncle says to him.

“I missed you too, buddy,” Chris says and rubs his back. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Uncle Theo nods and turns away. I have to fight to keep my composure as we leave. The only conclusion I can draw is that Chris reminds him of someone from his past he was close with and maybe even loved. On the elevator down to the first floor, I turn to Chris, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, that was… crazy. Your uncle was so sad. Kind of broke my heart.”

“Yeah, mine too. Old people are the worst.” He chuckles, because he knows I’m just kidding. He grabs my hand, and I squeeze him back. “I have one more favor to ask you, Chris.”

“Anything.”

“I want to tell my dad. Today, if possible. And I want you to come with me.”

He pulls me in for a sweet, barbecue-flavored kiss. “Let’s do it.”





I’d Rather Be Selling Investment Portfolios


“THAT WAS wild,” Chris says when we’re back in his car. We’re still processing our visit with Uncle Theo. Chris can’t get over the fact that Uncle Theo is gay. “So, no one in your family knows?”

“If they know, they’re not saying anything.”

“That’s incredible.” He shakes his head.

“And kind of sad that he had to hide it his whole life. Or he felt like he did. I mean, what if he had a chance to be happy with someone?”

“Maybe he’s happy now.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I wonder how happy a person can be in Uncle Theo’s situation. I see a lot of myself in my uncle—stubborn, prone to solitude, cranky on the outside but sensitive on the inside. I’d be so miserable if Chris got sick of me and we stopped being friends. The thought of not having him in my life kind of terrifies me.

“Are you sure you want me there?” Chris asks, bringing me back to my most immediate concern. Our plan is to drive straight to Todesta, call my dad when we’re close, and totally blow his Sunday all to hell.

“If it goes really well, I want you there,” I tell him, “and if it goes really bad… I still want you there.”

Chris nods and gives a little half smile. If this whole thing goes to shit, I’m going to need someone to lean on. Chris thinks I’m overreacting, but I think it’s just because his relationships with his parents are so solid. Even though he was worried about telling his dad, I don’t think he ever considered abandonment as a real possibility.

“I don’t want to stress you out even more,” Chris says, “but I think we should have a plan.”

A plan right now seems like a great idea, whatever will reduce the chance of screwing this up royally. “I’m listening.”

“Okay, check this. Whenever my dad goes into a meeting with a client, he has a set agenda of what he hopes to get out of it. Goals, you know? That way, even if the meeting goes off the rails, he has in the back of his mind what he wants to accomplish, and he can work toward it. Make sense?”

I’m not sure how coming out to my dad is like sealing the deal, but I’m interested to know more. “Go on,” I tell him.

“For instance, other than telling him you’re gay, is there anything you want to accomplish?”

“That’s a pretty big deal.” Let’s hope, given my track record, I can even do that.

“I know it is, but is there anything else you want him to know?”

That’s a good question, and one I haven’t really thought about. “I guess I’d want him to know that our relationship is important to me.”

“That’s good. Then you should probably say it.”

“Maybe I should see how it’s going before I unload my feelings on him.”

“See, here I disagree,” Chris says. “I mean, you’re basically making a pitch—not an investment—but yourself. You want to come out of this meeting with your relationship intact. Why not put it all out there—how you feel, what you want from him, how you’d like your relationship to grow.”

That seems like a lot for one conversation. “Lay it all on the table?”

“Exactly.”

It actually makes a lot of sense, even if the idea of making myself so vulnerable to my dad is terrifying. I’ll show him everything—total honesty—and let him decide how he’s going to take it.