When Everything Is Blue(77)

Chris frowns. “Yes, we can.”

“I mean, sort of, but what if we break up?”

“We just got together,” Chris harrumphs.

“I’m not saying I’d ever want to break up, but if it happens, then what?”

Chris’s eyebrows furrow, and he stares past my shoulder for a moment. “I don’t want to think about it. That would really suck.”

“Yeah, I know. It would be the worst.”

“We should make a pact,” he says. “Like, no matter what happens with this, we’ll always be friends.”

“Can we make that promise?”

“I can,” Chris says stubbornly, a challenge in his voice.

“Well, I can too.”

“Bet me, then.”

“Bet you what?”

“That we’ll always be friends.”

“To make a bet, you have to be at odds. Otherwise, what’s the bet?”

He groans at my literal interpretation of things. “Just this once, let’s bet on the same thing. The consequence of breaking the bet is a lifetime of suck.”

I’m tempted to ask him to define “lifetime of suck,” but I figure it to be more symbolic than anything else, and regardless, not having Chris as a friend would suck, for at least a lifetime. So I agree to his bet and we shake on it, as our deals have always been sealed in the past. It’s settled. No matter what happens, we’ll always be friends. I’m relieved. Chris is good at making complicated things seem easy.

“Be honest if you get sick of me,” I tell him.

“It’s been five years and I’m not sick of you yet. Be honest if I’m getting too possessive or jealous.”

“I don’t see that happening.” He lifts his eyebrows like he doesn’t believe me. “Fine, but honestly, I kind of like it.”

He grins at me like a scoundrel. “Awesome, then if you’re done, I brought you in here to make out with me.”

“It’s all about you, isn’t it?” I tease, and he peppers my lips until I kiss him back with fervor. I’ll never get tired of this—kissing, touching, talking—all our little intimacies and exchanges. I think of Uncle Theo’s friend and what a loss that must have been for him to endure, how a person can spend their whole life searching for the kind of connection Chris and I found in each other. How lucky are we? Wherever I go in life and wherever I end up, I want to remember this feeling of being understood and accepted exactly as I am. And I want to love and honor Chris with the same devotion.

“You have my heart completely,” I confess to him.

“You’ve got mine. Even though yours is probably bigger, judging from the rest of you.”

I chuckle and he grips me tighter, demanding my full attention. We make out in the fading buttery light of his shed until my mom calls me home from my bedroom window, reminding me there’s a whole world outside, and we can’t keep it waiting forever.

I press one gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. “I gotta go, Boss.”

“See you tomorrow.”

We exit the shed to find my mom shaking her head at us with a small smile on her face. As soon as she turns away from the window, Chris grabs my ass, and I dive in for one more good night kiss. “Best friends for life,” he reminds me with that cocky grin as he struts up his driveway. I watch him until I can’t anymore.





Muy, Muy


I THOUGHT it would be weird dating my best friend. Like, it might be awkward at first, or we might need to give each other some space so we don’t wear ourselves out. But as it turns out, our romantic relationship is a lot like our best friendship, only with sexy times. Like, we’ll be playing video games and one of us will get horny and then we’re rolling around on the floor with our mouths mashed together or dry humping to get ourselves off before anyone catches us. Or we’ll be skating somewhere, and Chris’ll corner me behind a building for a quick make-out sesh. Our friends all know we’re together, but we don’t do a lot of PDA’s. Chris probably wouldn’t mind it, but I don’t like having our relationship on display, especially after What’s in Wooten’s mouth? I’d like to keep our business between us.

Sometimes we get lucky and our parents will be out of the house, and one of us will put out the bat signal that we’re in the clear for some heavy petting.

Like today, we’re in Chris’s bedroom because his parents aren’t home from work yet, and Paloma has the day off. Chris cleverly added his parents to Find My Friends so he can track their commute from work to home. They still haven’t left the office, which means we have another half hour at least. We’re taking a break, both shirtless and laid out on his bed. Chris is a cuddler, so even when we’re not making out, he likes to be touching.

“Tell me about the first time you knew you had feelings for me,” Chris says with his face buried in my neck, one arm draped across my chest and his other hand nestled in my hair.

I think back to about a year ago, when we were surfing down at the pier. Chris fell asleep on a beach towel, and I was lying beside him on my own towel with my sunglasses on, trying to appear to be napping, but really I was watching him sleep, like a complete weirdo. I remind him of that day, then admit, “You were getting a hard-on, and I was imagining sucking you off.”