When Everything Is Blue(69)

“That’s good,” Chris says and stretches his arms forward to rest back on his heels. I love seeing him bow before me. Smooth skin and hard muscle curled in submission, giving me control.

“Do you like it?” I feel really unprepared for this part. I should have practiced on myself beforehand.

Chris hums in response, and I warm some lube on my fingertips and try again, going a little deeper this time. My other hand is splayed across his lower back, holding him steady while my finger penetrates him. I experiment, moving it slowly in and out, twisting a little, curling it. Chris rises to his knees and mutters “More, Theo,” in a raspy voice. I add another finger, leaning on his back for leverage. We move like that for a while, sweating and growing increasingly agitated, but knowing we have to go slowly. My cock weeps and throbs for him, but I have to focus on Chris’s needs.

“Let’s do this,” he says in a deep, ragged voice.

“Now?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

I remove my fingers and prep myself with shaking hands, position myself at his entrance. Shit, shit, shit rattles through my brain like a runaway train as I nudge him with the barest amount of pressure, and he opens up like a morning glory. Chris rocks back into me, forcefully, perhaps thinking that will make it easier, then freezes. His whole body tenses as he tightens up around me. I freeze, afraid to move or even breathe and risk making it worse.

“Do you want me to take it out?” I ask him.

“No, just give me a minute.”

He takes a few deep breaths, and I can tell he’s uncomfortable, maybe even in pain. I know it’s supposed to hurt, but I hope it’s not too bad. I draw my hands down his rippling muscles and rub my thumbs over his tailbone to help him relax. He repositions himself, then drops back down with a grunt.

“Tell me what to do,” I say to him.

“You’re good. Just… stand by.”

I brace myself against the ground with my knees while Chris rocks slowly back and forth, determining the depth and pressure. My body hums like a live wire, but my worry for him is more present in my mind. My gaze is drawn to the point where we’re joined, still amazed that this is even happening. Awestruck.

“Take over,” Chris says. I add more lube and grab hold of his hips. He grunts as I ease in deeper. I’ve never felt this close to a person before in my entire life, connected so deeply on so many levels. All I want is for him to feel good, cherished, and special.

“I love you,” I whisper. He nods, back heaving with every breath. “Does it hurt?” I’m afraid of his answer.

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I can handle it.”

I’m nearly to the base now, and Chris groans so deeply, I feel the vibration in my balls.

“That’s the spot, Theo. Keep doing that.”

I angle in so that I’m hitting whatever feels so good to him. To me it’s all good—every nerve ending being massaged in all the right ways. Pleasure cascading through me with every thrust. We hit the right beat—breathing, rocking, and grunting as one, unraveling together. Chris grabs hold of himself, jerking his fist along his shaft while I drive into him. My eyes roll back into my head, pleasure ballooning inside me like hot, spitting lava. I’m relieved when I hear Chris cry out that he’s coming, because I can’t hold out much longer.

Stars explode behind my eyes, and I flood the condom with my release while the last delicious tremor dances through me. I lean over and pant on his slick, strong back.

“Don’t move,” I tell him and gingerly pull out.

We collapse in a heap on our sleeping bags, bunched up and in disarray, sweating and breathless. Chris holds on to me like he doesn’t want to let go, and the words fall from my lips between kisses.

“Thank you… for everything. I just….” My eyes get a little misty and my breath hitches, overwhelmed by it all. “I couldn’t have done it… like that… with anyone else… I can’t believe you let me.”

He grips the back of my head and draws me to his chest so I can hear his rollicking heartbeat. “I love you too, Theo. I think I always have. Since that first day. The only way I could be happy was if you were happy too.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Let’s just say, you’re getting the wet spot tonight.”

I know why he did this, because he’s always tried to protect me, even when I didn’t think I needed it. It’s what Chris does. He rolls over and scoots his ass against me so we’re spooning. My mouth finds his shoulder and I rest it there, on his archipelago of freckles, soaking up his smell, the feel of him, the way his body fits against mine so comfortably. The sense of being whole in a way I only can with him.

We drift off for a while, curled in each other’s arms. I’m breathing in his exhales, and then Chris is kissing me back from the brink of slumber, his mouth traveling down my chest while he massages my inner thighs with both hands, stirring me awake in more ways than one. He massages my balls and strokes my cock with amazing dexterity, making me twitch and moan and grip the fabric of the sleeping bags with both hands. I’m wide-awake now, strung out on sensation and eager for what comes next.

“Can I do you?” he asks.

“Yes.” And yes and yes….

He pushes back on my knees and gives me the same preparation I gave him, only more tenderly, it would seem. The sensations escalate until I’m restless and bucking, worked into such a frenzy I’m begging him to get inside me.