Weekend Surrender (The Surrender Trilogy, #1)(41)
It was on the edge of her tongue to tell Zoey to turn back, but the memory of Mitch’s perfidy still burned in her brain. She couldn’t take it if any of the four Brooks brothers let her down, and it was inevitable if she stayed. Without another look back, she turned to Zoey and began to share all of the sordid details of the weekend.
Chapter Thirteen
Hudson couldn’t believe that Rachel had actually left. The whole weekend had gone nuclear and he didn’t have a clue how to fix it. All he wanted was to make her feel wanted and desired, yet somehow they had hemmed her in and made her feel claustrophobic and paranoid. So she ran as fast as her sexy slim legs and black cowboy boots could carry her, right out of their lives. It was a disaster.
Now Parker was pissed, Sawyer was sulking, and Rogan was…well…Rogan was in a daze on the front porch staring down the road in the direction that Zoey’s car had taken Rachel. Hudson wasn’t sure what his own reaction was. He felt like someone had shoved a fist into his chest and yanked out his heart by brute force. A lonely sense of abandonment filled his stomach, and when he caught a glimpse of himself in the side-mirror on the car, all he saw was a vast nothingness in his own eyes. He was nothing without Rachel. They were nothing without her.
In a strange way, this whole weekend had sealed the deal for him in terms of who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had absolutely no doubts about his choice, but knowing she had doubts was killing him.
After she left, Hudson sat in the kitchen at the dining room table thinking back through the entire weekend, and wondered if there was anything they might have done differently to give her more security.
Ultimately, he gave in and popped the top on a can of beer before he headed into the back bedroom where the five of them had spent the last couple of hours in sexual euphoria. Ropes still hung from the bedposts, and lying at the foot of the bed on the floor, was a shiny silver belt buckle in the shape of a star. It winked at him, teasing him with what might have been, and he had to swallow back the burn of tears behind his eyelids.
As he picked it up and slid it into his pocket, a sense of determination began building in his gut. Rachel was his woman. She might not completely understand it yet, but she wasn’t going to find it easy to just walk away from the Brooks brothers without a backwards glance.
Within minutes he was in his truck and headed into town, a plan already formulating in his brain. This love story wasn’t over yet.
****
After hours at Zoey’s place moping and moaning about her heartache, her best friend had done what only a good best friend could do. She kicked Rachel out and told her she was being stupid.
Of course, Rachel didn’t listen, and chose to go home instead of driving herself back to Brooks Pastures. She wasn’t willing to risk getting hurt by those four men, even if Zoey thought she had found her soul mates. There was just too much at stake.
However, seeing a bouquet of white lilies waiting for her on the porch, along with a tiny white envelope, left her feeling like a heel for the hurt she was causing the four of them. If there was any way to avoid it, she would, but in this particular situation, she had to choose between protecting her own heart and protecting theirs.
The note was simple, and hand written. It said, “Rachel, We’ll be here when you’re ready. Love, Hudson.”
It was kerosene to the flames of sorrow already burning inside of her. Hudson. Sweet, kind, gentle Hudson somehow understood she left because she was scared. It meant more to her than she could have verbalized, and it was a good thing no one else was around because the tears began flowing like a river again.
She spent the rest of the day torn between tears and determination. Space and time. That was what she needed to let go the weekend, and forge ahead into the future. If there was an easier way, she would have gladly jumped on it, but the only thing she felt she could do was pretend like nothing had happened. Zoey was the only one that knew about the weekend’s antics, and that was how Rachel wanted it to be.
Except that every couple of days, she received a new little reminder from them. There were lilies the first day, a bottle of bubble bath in her mailbox on Thursday, a bag of SweeTarts showed up on her desk at work the following week, and so on and so on. The only note she ever received was the one from Hudson that Sunday afternoon, but she knew he had a big hand in the other gifts.
Each time she found a new surprise her resolve weakened, but yesterday was the kicker. When she got home from work there was a small gift bag tied to the front door handle. Inside she found a tiny pink box that held the most delicate silver charm bracelet. There were only four charms dangling from the pretty links, a silver heart, a cowboy hat, a pair of handcuffs, and a teddy bear. Her heart had nearly burst out of her chest as she took in the four reminders. One for each man, and each with more significance than they probably even knew.
It was time to admit to herself that loved them more than she could possibly have anticipated. She wanted to be with them, but she had no idea how to take back what she had said, much less what she had done. It was her call to walk away from them, and they were leaving it in her court to come back. If only they understood how hard that was.
****
Two solid months of misery later, Rachel sat in her office with an uneaten handful of saltine crackers next to her computer monitor, and a diet ginger ale in her hand while she waited for her mom to log on to Skype. She spoke with her mom weekly, and every week she had been purposely vague about her love life, so as not to rouse her suspicions. Now, there was no more avoiding it. It was time to make the biggest announcement of her life to her mom.