Unplugged (Blue Phoenix, #3)(30)

“Sure, Lou...” Shit, this girl is drunk. I’d better hang around to help her home because nobody else at the table looks capable. One girl with long brown hair is asleep against a man’s shoulder already and several people have their elbows on the table heads in hands. Two other girls with tinsel wrapped around their hair and shoulders sway from side to side and sing along with the cliché Christmas songs blaring from the pub.

She sits back. “But you didn’t screw her, so I won’t.”

Cerys is in Cardiff. I’m on my way back to the States. So is this over before we started? Would we have allowed the resonance to change our lives? The painful awareness that Honey is the person who suits my lifestyle edges in.

“Did they take the presents from under Mum and Dad’s Christmas tree?” I ask.

“What? Why?”

“Some of the gifts under there were for Ella, weren’t they?”

Louise shakes her fringe from her face. “You’re weird, worrying about a little girl’s Christmas.”

I don’t tell her I’m worrying about Cerys’s Christmas if she opens my gift to her in front of the dickhead who’s Ella’s dad.

****

CERYS



3 a.m. Thanks, Ella. Craig’s pissed off with her coming into the bedroom and nagging every hour since midnight; I wanted to put her back to bed and scold her but Craig insists we get up. His plan is to let her open the gifts so he can crash back to bed again.

At least her dad is here.

Of course, Craig’s splurged stupid amounts of money on the huge pile of brightly wrapped presents that she rips through, opening them in ten minutes flat. Her spoils are piled beneath the wrapping; books, Lego, DVDs, and boxes of toys requiring batteries I doubt I have. Ella grabs the last gift.

“I saved this one because the paper is pretty,” she says.

The silver and gold wrapping stands out from the gaudy Santas and reindeers, and Ella’s right; the paper does look pretty. Not the kind of wrapping paper selected for kids, which arouses my suspicion about who this is from. Unable to read the label, she thrusts the present at her Dad who kneels on the floor next to her.

“Who bought my present?” she asks.

His brow furrows as he reads the label. “Liam.” He glances sharply at me. “Who’s Liam?”

“You know who, Louise’s brother.” I fight the pink but fail. Shit, Liam. “He probably didn’t want Ella to feel left out when he bought everyone else a present. He’s home for Christmas.”

The suspicion on his face grows at my rambled explanation. “You mean Liam Oliver? Since when does he come back to Wales? Thought LA was more his scene these days.” He pauses and I attempt to keep my face unreadable. “Must’ve been fun living with a rock star.”

“Yeah, right, I had a great time living there,” I snap. Thankfully, Craig doesn’t want to go back to the topic of his behaviour so he drops it. The bastard hasn’t once apologised.

“Uncle Liam bought me an Olaf!” shouts Ella and hugs the soft toy version of her favourite movie character to her chest. “I love it!”

At the words ‘Uncle Liam’, a muscle in Craig’s cheek twitches.

“Open your presents now!” Ella instructs us.

We divided the presents from under the tree, and me and Craig have a small pile too. My eyes are drawn to the small gift in paper matching the gold and silver of Ella’s. I push it to one side, beneath the shaggy black rug. Why do I feel guilty? One kiss. Well, lots of kisses but nothing more.

I’ve avoided sex with Craig since we got back here a couple of days ago, letting him think he has to re-earn my respect first. I doubt he’ll wait long so there’ll be another source of arguments.

Craig has bought me lingerie.

I inhale as I pull out the expensive black silk bra and panties and Craig’s eyes shine. “You can wear them for me later.”

My desire to let this man touch me is zero. Without a word, I fold them back into the paper. I give permission for Ella to open the rest. Linda and Jim have bought me a basket of bath gels and soap; Ella’s face lights up at the chocolates and perfume from Louise.

“Okay, let’s tidy all this up! Daddy wants to get back to bed. We can watch your new movie together!” I say.

Ella dutifully scrunches all the discarded paper into a corner.

“You forgot one,” says Craig in a cold voice. “It got pushed under the rug.”

He’s looking at the present I know is from Liam. “Oh?” I have no choice and retrieve the package. Carefully, I undo the tape and push back the stiff paper. The black box inside is unmistakably a jewellery box and my palms sweat. I know what this is without opening.

Inside rests a gold chain holding a heart-shaped pendant with a diamond set in one side of the heart. A replica of the one I lost. I fix my gaze on the pendant, scared to look at Craig.

“What is it Mummy? Is it from Uncle Liam?”

I don’t answer but Craig’s observant enough to see the paper is the same. He snatches the box from my hands and lifts the chain out of the box, dangling the heart. “Why did he buy you this?”

“Because I lost the other one.”

“‘The ‘other one’. You mean the one I bought you?”

The day Ella was born Craig bought me the necklace I lost. It was the closest we ever got to a piece of jewellery showing any commitment. Marriage was discussed and every time we see his family the topic resurfaces, but Craig was never keen. Maybe in the early days I’d have agreed, but recently I’m glad I didn’t.