There's Something About Sweetie(30)
She took a deep breath. “So … what you’re saying is that I can date Ashish, but only if we go to the specific places you want us to go for our dates. Like … the temple.”
“Correct.” Ma nodded.
“It’s our only offer,” Pappa said, and Ma swatted him.
“Kya offer-shoffer, Kartik,” she said. “This is not some software you’re selling.” Turning to Sweetie, she said gently, “We know this must seem odd, Sweetie. But we only want to make sure nothing happens that we’d be ashamed to tell your parents about. And this is the only way we know how to do that.”
Sweetie stared out the window for the longest moment in the history of mankind and womankind. Then she looked back at Ma and Pappa. “O-okay. I guess I agree to your conditions.” She darted a look at Ashish that was half panic, half confusion. He had a feeling she’d agreed only because she was being put on the spot. Aaahhh. Cringe, cringe, cringiest of cringes.
Rallying himself, he said, “Good. Then we’re both on the same page.” He could always talk to her later. Get her to see that he wasn’t as much of a crackpot as his parents might have led her to believe.
They’d had a real connection this morning. He just had to remind her of that. His hand inched next to hers on the sofa. Obviously holding hands in front of Ma and Pappa would be out of the question. But if even the sides of their pinkies touched, Ashish could maybe convey that he was on her side, that he saw how bizarre this was too. But when he was less than a millimeter away, Pappa cleared his throat and stood, causing Ashish to jerk his hand away like it had been burned or something.
“I have something for you two,” Pappa said, handing them each a sheet of paper from his desk.
Frowning, Ashish glanced down at his.
MEMORANDUM OF AGREEMENT
This Memorandum of Agreement is entered into by Kartik and Sunita Patel (hereafter referred to as PARENTS) and Ashish Patel and Sweetie Nair (hereafter referred to as CHILDREN) on April 7, 2019, in the city of Atherton, California.
Ashish looked up, one eyebrow raised. “You seriously drafted up a legal contract, Pappa?” He glanced at Sweetie, who was reading it with a wondrous look on her face. “You’re going to scare her away.”
“Sweetie’s not scared of making things official! Are you, Sweetie?” Pappa boomed.
Sweetie chuckled, but it was a dry, withered sound, as if she were considering just jumping out of the window and running to her car. “Um … no, not … not really.”
“Read, read!” Pappa ordered. He pointed with his pen toward the bottom of the document, where there was a numbered list.
Jeez, he could be bossy. Ashish scanned the list.
Pavan Mandir. Both CHILDREN shall have their first date at Pavan Mandir, located at 12 Oliphant Drive. The date shall commence next Saturday, April 13, to begin no later than 9:30 a.m. and terminate no later than 3:00 p.m.
Holi Festival of the Indian Association of Atherton. Both CHILDREN shall have their second date at Oakley Field, where the Indian Association of Atherton will be hosting the annual Holi Festival on Saturday, April 20. Both CHILDREN must take part in the festivities. The festival will be from 9:00 a.m. until 12:00 p.m., after which the CHILDREN may go to lunch at a restaurant of their choosing.
Gita Kaki. Both CHILDREN shall visit the home of Ashish Patel’s Gita Kaki (paternal great-aunt) in Palo Alto, California, on Saturday, April 27. They shall drive up in Ashish’s Jeep and arrive promptly at 11:00 a.m. The visit shall terminate no earlier than 2:00 p.m.
Free choice. The CHILDREN shall make their own choice for this date, to be held on Saturday, May 4, with consent from both PARENTS.
Ashish looked up at Pappa, careful to keep his gaze away from Sweetie. He had no idea what she was thinking right now. She had to be internally screaming just as much as he was, though. “Gita Kaki?”
Pappa frowned. “Eh? What about Gita Kaki?”
“More like Gita Kooky. Wasn’t she the one whose neighbors got a restraining order because she attacked their yappy dog?” Ashish said, fighting to keep his voice level.
Ma looked aghast. Darting her gaze between him and Sweetie, she said, “That was all blown out of proportion, Ashish.” She laughed. “She was only being friendly! They misunderstood.”
“If I remember correctly,” Ashish said, “she ripped the poor dog’s sweater off and screeched ‘Banshee!’ at it over and over again, until they called the police.”
“The dog was very obnoxious,” Pappa said. “Its owners had been fined for noise disturbance many, many times before! And it had bitten people too! Your Gita Kaki can hardly be blamed.”
Ashish looked from him to Ma, who was nodding in eager agreement. “So. This is your idea of getting back at us.”
He expected Pappa to get mad and tell him it didn’t matter if Ashish liked it or not, this was the deal and he had to stick with it. And if he didn’t like these punishment-dates, he shouldn’t have been sneaking around.
But Pappa actually looked perplexed. Glancing at Ma, he shrugged, like Kya? What is our son talking about now?
Ma looked at Ashish. “Beta, Pappa and I put a lot of thought into these date choices. We wanted them to be fun but also culturally immersive. Do you … do you not see it that way?” She looked from him to Sweetie, her gentle face anxious.