There's Something About Sweetie(33)

He must’ve seen something flash across her face—panic?—because he leaned down, his brow furrowed in concern. “You okay?”

“Totally.” Her voice came out a squeak, but she forced herself to keep smiling. Oh heck. How many times had Ashish Patel kissed girls? How many times had he had sex?

“Okay.” He straightened and, smiling, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Her traitorous heart juddered in her chest. “I’ll see you later?”

“Me too!” she said, laughing a little hysterically. “Next weekend! Bye!”

He stood waving at her as she made her way down the drive. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. Why hadn’t she thought this through? Why hadn’t she fully considered what it might mean to date Ashish Patel? Had she really believed all Ashish Patel had ever done was hold hands with girls? What if he was so experienced with new sexual techniques that she didn’t even know what he was talking about? What if he made a move next weekend, on their very first date, because he was so used to all his millions of experienced girlfriends throwing themselves at him? Sweetie knew she couldn’t back out now, not without totally hurting his feelings. Besides, she still wanted to date someone like Ashish Patel. She couldn’t just flee in fear, not now that she was Sweetie the Sassy Rebel. She’d totally lose face. To herself, but still. That was the most important.

Sweetie groaned. She had the feeling she’d just agreed to something way, way above her pay grade. And now there was no way to go but forward.

Sweetie was all jumpy at school the next day. Five more days, her mind kept saying. Five more days until you find out what a first date with a boy like Ashish really means. The thing was, it wasn’t all negative jumpiness. Part of her was … thrilled, almost aching, to find out what it would mean to feel Ashish’s big (hot—the boy was like his own mini nuclear reactor) hand loosely clasped around hers. To kiss him on those full lips for the first time. To hear him whisper her name under the stars. To find out why, exactly, his eyes always seemed just a little sad, even when he laughed. But there was a part of her that was worried it would all unravel. That she’d find out he was really shallow, that all he wanted was an “easy lay,” like those other awful jerks had said. There was a part of her that was terrified to get hurt, to find out that Amma had been right all these years.

“Heyyy, whatcha doing?” Someone grabbed her around the shoulders and Sweetie shrieked. Kayla raised an eyebrow. “Jeez. Someone’s on edge today. I know it’s not about that chemistry test you’re gonna ace.”

Sweetie took a deep, shuddering breath. “Oh, sorry. I was just … thinking.”

“I can see that,” Kayla said, adjusting her bright-green backpack. “Maybe a different kind of chemistry on your mind?” She laughed. “What’s going on? Did you text Ashish?”

Oh, right. Sweetie had actually forgotten that it was Kayla who’d given her his number Saturday night. It felt like forever ago. “I did.”

“Uh-huh … and I’m guessing the shrieking had something to do with that?”

“Yeah. It’s, uh, a long story, actually. I’ll fill you guys in at lunch.” Lunch and track practice were the only times all four of them got to hang out anymore at school. Junior year wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. “But how was the concert?”

“It was fabulous!” Kayla singsonged, and then launched into a minute-by-minute rundown of everything that had transpired Saturday night. Sweetie was glad for the chance to put aside her own thoughts and doubts for a few minutes.

The rest of the morning passed in a sort of fog. Sweetie managed to focus on her chemistry test—Kayla was right; she aced it—and then her brain turned back to Ashish and the Four Dates. They were watching a video in English lit. She looked around to make sure no one was watching her, then pulled the memorandum out of her backpack (she couldn’t just leave it at home, where Amma might see it). Smoothing it out on her notebook, she read it again. The temple. That’s where they were headed Saturday. But what the heck would they do there? What kind of a date was that? Sweetie wasn’t opposed to going to the temple. She went during the major religious holidays with her parents. It was a restful kind of place, with the bells and the smells of incense and the pujari chanting the prayers, the feel of the cool stone floor under her bare feet.

But still … it was a temple. A place of worship. She couldn’t think of a less romantic date than that. And maybe that was the point. Maybe Ashish’s dad was so concerned with … what had he called it? Oh, right, “hanky-panky.” Maybe he wanted somewhere that would essentially be environmental birth control. Sweetie sighed. That was still better than the alternative—accepting Amma’s opinion that someone like her should just stay inside, fully clothed, until she was thin. Besides, not having to worry about Ashish’s experience as a sexpert was kind of a gigantic relief.

Kayla, Suki, Izzy, and Sweetie sat at a picnic table at lunch, their backpacks on the grass at their feet. A light breeze ruffled Sweetie’s hair, and the sun was like a balm. She turned her face to it and closed her eyes.

There was complete silence at the table. Not normal. She opened one eye to see all three of her best friends staring at her. “What?”

“So? Are you gonna tell us why you wanted Ashish Patel’s number?” Suki asked.