There's Something About Sweetie(26)

“Ashish, Sweetie’s parents don’t know. It’s not right for you to do this behind their backs.” Ma’s voice was soft, pleading.

“No, you know what isn’t right? For her mom to decide that she isn’t good enough to date me because of the size of the clothing she wears. Okay? Sweetie is thoughtful, intelligent, passionate, and beautiful. If you want me to stop dating girls like I have in the past, then you really couldn’t do better.”

“Bilkul nahin! I forbid it!” Pappa thundered.

But Ma was looking at Ashish thoughtfully. Putting a hand on Pappa’s arm, she said, “Ashish, could you please step out for just a moment and give us some privacy? I’ll call you back in a minute.”

He looked from her face—she definitely had something cooking under that mask of neutrality—to Pappa’s apoplectic one, then shrugged and stood. “Okay.”

Ashish crossed the vast living room into the adjacent dining room. There was no door between the rooms, just a huge archway, but he was far enough from Ma and Pappa that he couldn’t hear what they were saying. Well, most of what they were saying.

Occasionally phrases would leak through (mostly because Pappa seemed to be shouting them and Ma seemed to be raising her voice to match his tone).

“… not appropriate!” Pappa.

“… first time he’s … nice girl …” Ma.

“… nky-panky!” Pappa.

“… our chance … he’s got a reputation … good family … convince them somehow, eventually …” Ma.

“… guidelines. No negotiations!” Pappa.

“Fine.”

“Ashish? Ashish?” Ma again.

Silence.

Ashish sat up. Oh, she wasn’t talking to Pappa anymore; she was actually trying to get his attention. He crossed the dining room quickly and went back to the chair in the living room. His parents were both staring at him in still silence, like two mannequins with moving eyes. “Back to the creepy, are we?”

Pappa raised his eyebrows. “Kya?”

“Nothing,” Ashish mumbled.

Ma spoke first. “Ashish, we have decided, after much deliberation, that we will allow you to date Sweetie.”

“And you won’t tell her parents?”

“We won’t.” Ma held up a finger when he smiled. “But not because we think it’s the correct thing to do. Rather … well, we think this will be good for you. You have always resisted learning about your culture, maybe because Pappa and I have pushed you too hard and you think everything we say is ‘uncool.’ But somehow Sweetie’s family has managed to raise a daughter who is respectful and knowledgeable about hers. Maybe being with her will rub off on you, hmm? Besides, beta, I’m afraid you’ll develop a reputation in the Indian community for being a rebel and feeling like you’re better than Indian girls. Pappa and I have been worried about it, and we feel this will help change that perception.”

Ashish laughed. “So this is like a PR campaign for my brand?”

Pappa glared at him. “It is not a laughing matter, Ashish. It is not just your reputation, but your entire family’s. Think of Rishi and Dimple. Do you want the focus to be on your wayward ways when it comes time for them to announce their engagement? For us to plan their wedding?”

Ashish sighed. And there it was: It always came back to Rishi, the golden child. “No, of course not.”

Pappa nodded briskly. “Good.”

“We’ll tell her parents in due time,” Ma said. “But until then …”

“We have some conditions you must follow if you want to date this girl.”

Ashish froze. “Um … what kind of conditions, exactly?”

“You can only go on dates that are sanctioned by Ma and me,” Pappa said, a smug smile on his face.

Ashish blinked. “Wait, what? You guys are going to tell me where to take Sweetie?”

“Yes. Four dates. You must go on all of those or the deal’s off.” Ma raised one eyebrow. “It’s your choice.”

Ashish huffed a laugh. “You know I could just go behind your backs and date her, right? I mean, I have a car and so does she.”

Ma picked up her phone off the side table. “I can call her mother right now and tell her what you two have been planning. I have a feeling Sweetie won’t be going anywhere after that.”

Ashish shook his head slowly. “When did you two become such criminal masterminds?”

Pappa laughed, obviously pleased with this assessment of his character.

“We’re not trying to control you, Ashish,” Ma said. “We just want what’s best for everyone in this situation.”

“Yes, and assigning your dates will cut down on the funny business.”

A frightening thought occurred to Ashish. “Wait. Where are you going to be sending us that you feel we won’t be able to, uh, get into trouble?”

“We will refine the list,” Pappa said, steepling his fingers, “but for the first date we are both agreed that it should definitely be the mandir.”

Ashish looked from one parental face to the other, hoping that one of them would crack a smile to show that they were yanking his chain. But they just stared at him. He rubbed his face and tried to collect himself. “Are you serious? You want me to take her to the temple for our first date?”