The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(51)

“It can be. I don’t mind leaving the parents, but a lot of times, I really miss the kids.” Especially when she’d simply taken off because of some guy. That was her original sin—leaving her kids behind without a word.

She often wondered if they eventually forgot her, as she’d told herself they would, or if they carried that scar of being abandoned with them. She’d been close to a lot of her charges, especially a set of twins. Did they remember her? Hate her? Wish she’d never been part of their lives? Regardless, she had simply disappeared. Yet another pattern in her past she was determined not to repeat. She was going to be more responsible.

“Do you like the symphony?” Norris asked, changing the subject. “A lot of people don’t like that kind of music anymore, but it’s one of my favorites.”

“I’ve never been to the symphony,” she admitted. “But I do like classical music. Connor—he’s the boy I take care of—and I play a lot of music. We alternate who picks and he really loves classical music.”

“Good. I have season tickets and I’d love to take you.”

“That’s perfect because I’d love to go.”

“I’m glad.”

There it was, she thought happily. The normal date. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Norris or if under her agitated nerves there was anything close to attraction, but at least this was what other people did.

Norris leaned close. “So here’s the thing. I was thinking we could get dinner and continue the conversation. Or, if you’re up for it, we could just go back to my place and take things to the next level.”

The words were so unexpected that at first she didn’t understand what he was saying. She went cold all over as her stomach sank to her toes and all hope died.

“You want me to go back to your place and have sex with you,” she said, wanting to confirm she hadn’t misunderstood him. Or maybe hoping he would be shocked and tell her that wasn’t what he’d meant at all.

He gave her what she assumed he thought of as a slow, sexy smile. “Absolutely. Jesus, Sunshine, you’re a walking, breathing fantasy. How could I not want to have sex with you? It’s all I can think about.”

Tears burned, but she blinked them away. She pulled twenty dollars out of her small bag and placed it on the table.

“No,” she said, her voice firm despite the fact she was shaking. “No. I don’t want that.”

She rose and headed for the door. Norris came after her and grabbed her by her arm.

“Wait. Look, I’m sorry if I read the signals wrong. I’ll buy you dinner first if that’s what you want.”

Because that was what she was worth? The cost of a salad and an entrée?

She freed herself and walked out. The valet brought around her car. As she got in, she felt the first tear leak out. It was followed by another and another.

She brushed them away so she could see to drive. Once she pulled into traffic, she looked for a safe place to stop. She saw a grocery store up ahead and found a parking space in the back of the lot. Only then did she give in to the tears. She cried out her hurt and disappointment as she wondered what she’d done wrong and how she was ever supposed to be more than she was. She’d dressed conservatively, hadn’t teased or been sexual in her conversation. She’d thought he was a nice guy, but he wasn’t. Or maybe it was her. Maybe she should stop trying so hard to avoid the inevitable.

When she’d run out of tears, she drove home and made her way inside. Connor and Declan were watching a movie. She waved at them but kept on moving. She changed into leggings and a T-shirt, then curled up on the bed and wished she were anyone else but herself.



Chapter Thirteen


A couple of hours later, hunger drove Sunshine to the kitchen. There was leftover chicken and a bag of salad, along with some avocado and Mexican blend cheese. It only took a few minutes to make a salad. She’d just taken a seat at the kitchen island when Declan walked in.

“You okay?” he asked, shoving his hands into his jeans front pocket. “You seemed upset when you got home. Did something happen?”

She resisted the urge to push away her salad and start crying again. Declan certainly didn’t want that. Instead she smiled brightly.

“I’m great. How was your evening with Connor? Did he have fun with his friend?”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he told her. “But I am concerned.”

So much for distracting him, she thought with a sigh.

“Nothing happened,” she told him. “It was just a crummy date.”

He took the far seat at the island. “Want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes. Let me ask you a question.” She put down her fork. “Did you have sex with Iris on the first date?”

“What? No!” He cleared his throat. “No.”

“Did you ask her to? Did you expect it?”

“No. Is that what happened? He expected you to have sex with him?”

The tears threatened as she nodded. “I don’t get it. I thought he was a regular guy and I never thought regular guys expected sex after a drink.”

“Some might but most of us don’t. I’m sorry that happened.”

“Me, too.” She looked at him. “The thing is I was so careful with what I wore and what I said. I wasn’t flirty or anything. I just want to find someone who is as interested in the rest of me as my boobs and my ass.”