The Summer of Sunshine and Margot(52)

Declan waved toward her. “And that other part.”

He was such an unbelievable combination of embarrassed and earnest that she couldn’t help laughing.

“Is the word you’re looking for vagina?”

“We don’t actually think that term, but yes.”

“So it’s never—” she made air quotes “—‘Oh, wow, I want to put my penis in her vagina’?”

“No. It’s more basic than that. More visceral.” His humor faded. “I’m sorry the guy was a jerk. I’m sorry he disappointed you but that’s what jerks do. You’re going to meet someone normal and nice who sees you as a whole person.”

“I’m not sure those kind of guys exist.”

“We do.”

She wanted to believe him, but it was difficult. No, it was impossible. “I’m so tired of being a piece of ass. I have a personality. I’m good with kids and I kind of like the ant farm. That should matter. I’m not great at math, but it’s early yet and I could get better.”

“You have a lot to offer. You really do.”

There was something in his tone. “But?”

“But it can be difficult for some men to see past the obvious.”

“You think I should give Norris a second chance?”

“No. But I think you might have to give a guy you really like a second chance. In case he was just overwhelmed in the moment.”

She would give Declan a second chance, she thought wistfully. If they were dating, she would give him a lot of chances. Not that she would have to. She knew in her gut, and a whole lot of other places, he would never make her feel bad about herself. He wouldn’t ask her to have sex right away. He would wait until they knew each other and it became something they both wanted because...

“I want to fall in love,” she whispered, brushing away tears. “I want to be someone’s world and I want him to be mine. I want to take care of him and our kids and our pets. I want to have a job I like and do laundry and go bowling and plan a yearly vacation. I want to put up a Christmas tree with Popsicle stick ornaments on it. I want more ant farms.”

“You’re going to have all that and more.”

“I don’t know.” She sniffed. “I think I’m stuck with what I have until I’m old enough that no one wants to have sex with me anymore.”

“That will never happen. Of that I am sure.”

“Thank you,” she said, wiping her face again. “You’ve been really nice and I appreciate all your kind words.” She managed a smile. “And the vagina insight.”

“I really am sorry, Sunshine. He’s not worth it.”

“I know. I don’t care about him—it’s just I had such high hopes.”

She collected her salad and took it into her room, then closed the door. For a second, she thought about rushing back and asking Declan to hold her. Not for any reason other than the fact that she could use a hug.

She would bet he was a really good hugger—the kind who just grabbed and didn’t let go. She’d seen him hug Connor and there was none of that A-frame nonsense.

She thought about her list of what she wanted from a few minutes ago and mentally added good hugging to it, then she set down her salad and curled up on the bed. She gave in to tears and sadness, as she wondered how much of what she was going through was her own fault and how much of it was the Baxter family curse. After four generations there hadn’t been a single successful romantic relationship and didn’t that just suck for them all.

  “You have a delivery,” Edna said. “They’re bigger boxes than I want to lift. The delivery guy left them in the foyer.”

As always, it took Alec a couple of seconds to travel the mental distance from the ancient world where he spent most of his day to modern times.

“Oh, the documents are here. Excellent. Thank you, Edna. I’ll take care of them.”

She nodded and left. Alec saved his notes and then glanced at the clock in his office. It was nearly four in the afternoon. He hadn’t heard Margot or his mother for some time now, so it was possible they were done for the day.

He got out his phone and quickly texted Margot.

If you’ve finished with Bianca and have a free moment, I have just taken delivery of several ancient pages. You might want to join me to see how they are handled.
It only took a second for her to respond.

On my way.
Even as he smiled, he acknowledged the ridiculousness of texting someone in his own home, but that was how things were these days. Besides, it wasn’t as if she were a friend visiting for a few weeks. She was his mother’s consultant. Her staying at his house was simply for convenience.

He thought about how he’d been concerned about the intrusion by both his mother and Margot, but both women were surprisingly unobtrusive. His mother was either with Margot or Wesley and Margot wasn’t the kind of person who got in the way.

If he were being honest with himself, he would have to admit that he liked having her in the house. He liked their morning breakfasts where they mostly discussed the news of the day. He liked running into her at odd hours and their impromptu meals together. He liked talking to her and laughing with her and looking at her.

He heard her steps on the stone floor as she made her way to his office. Something like anticipation grew inside of him, bringing him to his feet. He had the oddest thought he should kiss her when he saw her. And not on the cheek. He should pull her into his arms and kiss her with all the passion pent up inside of him.