The Dilemma(19)

But – why hasn’t she been in touch? Maybe she tried to call, maybe I missed it. I check my missed calls log; there’s nothing. I press the FaceTime call logo and watch the screen, waiting for her face to appear. Nothing. I cut the call and try on audio, in case the signal isn’t strong enough for the video link to work. There’s still nothing. I try sending a text: Marnie, something happened to a flight out of Cairo. Text or call me as soon as you can, Love xxx

I send it by WhatsApp too, to double my chances, then hold my breath, waiting for a sign that Marnie has seen it – the two blue ticks, the Typing… at the top of the screen. Nothing. There are no ticks to say it’s been delivered. I check the status – undelivered. The network must be down in Cairo because of the crash. It must be chaos at the airport. There probably won’t have been an announcement about the crash but everyone will know something is wrong because all the departures boards will suddenly show Delayed or Cancelled for all subsequent flights out. Poor Marnie, she’ll be devastated by what’s happened.

I need to think what to do, how I can find out where Marnie is, and if she’s alright. There’s usually an emergency number that people can call to check whether or not a relative was on a flight. I know Marnie wasn’t but it would be good to have confirmation that she missed it.

I go back to the BBC news story and see an update: All 243 passengers and crew members are thought to have perished. The reality of the crash hits again. Livia, I have to tell Livia, she needs to know. The thought of telling her is overwhelming. How can I tell her what’s happened without sending her into a panic? She’s with Kirin and Jess at the spa – I can’t just call her on the phone, not to tell her this.

A group of teenagers walk past, pushing each other and bumping my arm as I refresh the BBC news story. But there’s nothing further. I check WhatsApp but still there are no ticks next to Marnie’s message.

I feel a creeping dread. I have no idea what to do.





Livia


The car slows and Kirin takes a left-hand turn down a leafy driveway lined with rhododendrons, before pulling up in front of a beautiful country house.

‘What’s this?’ I ask, peering through the window.

‘Our birthday present to you,’ she says, smiling at me in the rear-view mirror. ‘A spa afternoon, with a facial and massage all booked!’

I unbuckle my seat belt and lean forward, throwing my arms around the two of them.

‘Oh my God, you’re amazing! Thank you! Thank you!’ Something occurs to me. ‘You are joining me, aren’t you? You’re not just dropping me off?’

Jess laughs. ‘Don’t worry, we’re coming with you.’

‘I used to do this kind of thing once a month before Nelson and the children came along,’ Kirin says as we get out of the car. ‘Our first appointment is at two so we’ve got time for lunch first.’ She links her arms through ours, discreetly helping Jess. ‘Come on, it’s this way.’

‘I’m so glad to be getting away for a few hours,’ Jess says, as we stroll down a paved pathway, where scented clematis cling to an archway of wooden trellises. ‘Rob’s cleaning his bike and there are bits of it in the kitchen sink.’

Kirin nods in agreement. ‘Me too. It’s amazing how many things Nelson needed me to go over with him, about when to put Lily down for her nap and what to give the boys for lunch. Anyway, enough about men. How are you feeling, Liv? Does it feel weird that the party is finally here?’

‘I think it hasn’t really sunk in yet,’ I tell her.

‘It must feel strange,’ Jess says, as we come to the stone steps leading to the entrance. She leans harder on me and shifts her body so that she can climb sideways. ‘I mean, you’ve been planning it for so long.’

‘Twenty years. Isn’t that embarrassing? But it’s turning out exactly as I imagined. The weather is amazing and there are so many people coming, nearly a hundred. I feel so lucky.’

‘You deserve it,’ Kirin says.

We’ve reached the entrance and I stop. ‘Do I, though?’

‘Yes, of course you do!’ Jess says, tugging my arm, forcing me onwards. ‘Why wouldn’t you?’

‘I don’t know – deep down, don’t you think there’s something morally wrong in spending so much money on one evening, on one person?’

Kirin gives a sigh of exasperation as she walks towards the reception desk. We’ve had this conversation before and she thinks I’m being ridiculous. ‘In short – no. I spent a lot more on my wedding,’ she says laughing and pushing hard on the gold bell sitting by the sign: Ring for assistance.

‘Yes, but that lasted the whole day. And it was your wedding, not just a birthday party.’

‘Don’t worry, I’m going to have a huge party for my fortieth too!’

We’re taken to an outdoor terrace, where tables set for lunch are grouped around a huge swimming pool. A few people are lying on sun loungers, all of them on their phones. It sounds clichéd, but the water really is sparkling in the sunlight.

‘I should have brought a swimsuit,’ I say, looking longingly at the pool.

Reaching into her bag, Jess takes out a pretty gift bag and presents it to me with a flourish. ‘No sooner said than done.’