The Dead Ex(92)

‘Did she?’

‘She said not.’

‘Did you attack her then?’

‘No! She attacked me.’

‘Did you defend yourself?’

‘Yes. But I didn’t kill her.’

‘How do you know?’

‘Because she was alive – and shouting at me – when I left her.’

‘I see. You’ve had previous experiences of being attacked, haven’t you?’ The barrister makes a play of examining her notes. ‘I believe you were assaulted in prison by an inmate when you were a governor.’

Why are they bringing that up?

‘Yes.’ Vicki Goudman speaks so quietly that I can barely hear her.

‘Would you like to tell us what happened after that?’

‘I was pregnant.’ Her voice is dull, as if she’s given up. ‘The attack caused me to lose my baby.’

What? A shock of horror zips down my spine. Mum never told me that.

‘Why didn’t you mention this when you gave evidence earlier on?’

‘Because it was too painful. I’d instructed my own barrister to leave it out.’

‘How else did the attack affect you?’

‘The head injuries led to epilepsy. My husband found this difficult to deal with. He said I’d become a different kind of person and he got embarrassed when I fitted in public.’

The prosecution’s eyes narrow. ‘Do you still have these fits?’

‘Strictly speaking, they are known as seizures.’

‘I apologize. Please answer the question.’

‘Yes. I do still have them. I usually take quite strong medication, which reduces the number of episodes, but it hasn’t stopped them.’

‘Usually take?’

There’s a nod.

‘Please speak, Mrs Goudman.’

‘Yes, I usually take my medication.’

‘Are we to conclude therefore that there are times when you don’t?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why not?’

‘I might forget or …’

‘Please continue.’

‘I don’t like the side-effects.’

‘What kind of side-effects?’

‘It can affect my memory.’

‘In what way?’

‘I might forget I’ve done something, like turn on the cooker. It’s why I have a microwave instead for food.’

‘Might it also make you forget you had hurt someone?’

‘Possibly.’

‘You originally told the police that you hadn’t seen your ex-husband for some years. Yet the court has already seen a photograph showing you arguing with him outside a restaurant on the thirtieth of November last year, just a few weeks before he disappeared. Would you like to explain that?’

I begin to feel nervous. That had been an opportunity which had simply fallen into my hands. There I’d been, having dinner with David, and then suddenly Vicki appeared outside. I knew what she looked like from her old prison profile online. I’d managed to take a quick picture on my phone. Mum had been beside herself with excitement when I’d told her. ‘Hang on to it. You never know when it will be useful.’

After David’s disappearance, I had simply handed it over to the police, explaining I’d taken it during a business dinner as part of my ‘portfolio’. The obviously aggressive body language in the picture was perfect ‘proof’ that the ex-wife still had an axe to grind. As Mum had said, it was all part of ‘making the guv pay for what she did to us’.

‘I followed him sometimes,’ Vicki is saying. ‘I couldn’t get David out of my head. But I was scared of telling the police that I’d seen him in case they thought I was guilty.’

Too late. The jury already look as though they’ve made up their minds on that one.

‘But where does it all end?’ says a little voice inside me. Vicki had clearly suffered too. She’d lost her baby. I place my hand protectively on my own stomach.

Then I push the doubt away. It’s Mum’s side I’m on. Besides, I know what happened on that day with Tanya. Vicki Goudman deserves to go down.





53



Vicki

16 July 2018


The prosecution is like a dog chewing away at a bone. Me. And there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s partly my fault for being so open when I’d talked about Tanya. But something had taken me over during the questioning. I wanted to tell everyone what kind of a woman she was. Now I wish I’d kept quiet and been more careful.

‘Would you describe yourself as an aggressive person?’

‘No.’

‘Is it true that you attacked a prisoner in your first week as an officer?’

The man who called me in when his toilet was overflowing? ‘I was defending myself. He yanked my hair by the roots and tried to put my head into the toilet.’

‘Anything else you’d like to add?’

‘No.’

The barrister is waving a piece of paper in the air. ‘I gather from these medical reports that you broke his collar bone at the same time.’

I begin to sweat even more. ‘Like I said, I was defending myself.’