The Dead Ex(91)

Penny is further down, sitting behind the barrister. She turns round and gives me a smile that is probably intended to be reassuring. I am not fooled. The evidence is stacked against me.

Years ago, as a prison officer, I would be on duty at trials like this. Nowadays it’s usually handled by security firms. Sometimes we had bets on who would be let off and who would go down. If I was doing that now, I wouldn’t wager any money on me.

‘Victoria Goudman,’ says the court clerk. ‘You are charged with the murder of Tanya Goudman. Do you plead guilty or not guilty?’

‘Not guilty,’ I whisper.

‘Can you speak up, please?’

‘Not guilty.’

I sit down. The room is looming in and out. But my dizziness is not, as far as I can see, a precursor to a seizure. I am simply terrified. Still, at least they haven’t charged me with David’s murder. Penny had warned me earlier that with the evidence they had against me, this might be possible, even though there isn’t a body. But clearly they’ve decided against it.

A female barrister is outlining the case against me. In my fear, her words go round and round my head in no particular order.

Certain phrases, however, stand out. ‘You will shortly be told how the defendant was found to have a diary in her possession, declaring her hatred for her ex-husband David Goudman and her desire to kill him so no one else could – I quote here – “have him either”.’

There’s a gasp from the gallery.

‘The jury will also hear how Tanya Goudman was strangled by a dog-toothed chain – similar to the key chain used in prisons. The defendant was once a prison governor, and a chain of this type was found at her home after the murder.’

Another gasp.

One of the jurors shakes his head as if he has already made up his mind.

‘In addition, the defendant was photographed speaking to her ex-husband in a public place shortly before he disappeared. Initially she denied this but she then admitted to having lied.’

Each member of the jury now shoots me a suspicious glare.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, you will hear that Victoria Goudman has freely admitted entering the home of Tanya Goudman through the back door, bold as brass. She also admits to “tussling” with the deceased in anger. To corroborate this admission, the defendant’s DNA was found on the body.’

I want to put my hands over my ears.

‘You will also be told of her history of violence.’

What?

‘The defence will argue that their client is in far from robust health, but Vicki Goudman is no wilting violet. We will produce witnesses from her most recent prison appointment who will say she had a reputation for being tough and, at times, even aggressive in her demeanour. Clearly, she has brought this trait into her personal life.’

I can see from the jury’s faces that I am already guilty.





52



Helen

16 July 2018


I ask Mum to stay at home while I go to court. At first, she agrees. But after the weekend, on the third day of the trial, she kicks up one hell of a fuss. ‘I want to be there. See the bitch get her dues.’

We compromise with a coffee shop round the corner, agreeing that I’ll go straight there afterwards.

As I ease myself into the front row of the public gallery – I’m getting big now – part of me wishes I hadn’t come back to the court today. This place sends shivers through me. How many daughters have sat here and watched a parent being sent down? Or even their own kids. In fact, that could have been me in the dock.

My mind goes back to the time when I’d got caught shoplifting with the kids from the Walters’ house. Then I have a sudden flash of white hands and heavy footsteps coming into my room. Desperately, I stuff my knuckles into my mouth to stop myself from vomiting.

Then the court begins to ripple. Here she comes! Vicki Goudman! Led in by a burly prison officer. You’d never think from her bowed head and lank hair that this was the bully who had made Mum’s life hell. At last, with any luck, she’s going to get what she deserves.

The guv has given her evidence and is now being cross-examined by the prosecuting barrister. ‘Mrs Goudman,’ she says. ‘Could you describe your relationship with Tanya Goudman?’

‘She married my ex-husband.’

‘We are aware of that. Did you like her?’

‘Would any woman like someone who broke up her marriage?’

There’s a ripple of laughter through the court.

‘So you hated her, then?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘What would you like to say about the deceased?’

‘She wanted David. I realized that from early on. But I was foolish enough to trust him.’

Her barrister doesn’t look happy. I wonder if Vicki Goudman is enjoying this. It’s her moment for revenge. The women jurors’ faces indicate she’s not the only one who’s been cheated on. Still, she deserved it. Didn’t she?

‘From your statement, you admit to going into the deceased’s house on the day she was murdered.’

‘Yes.’

‘Louder, please.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘I wanted to see if Tanya knew where David was.’