The Certainty of Violet & Luke(64)

I end up waiting for Luke after the game with Callie. I wasn’t going to but I guess it’s a thing or something. After every game, Callie waits for Kayden, and I guess now that I’m with Luke and am coming to games, I’m expected to wait for Luke with Callie, at least that’s Greyson’s theory. When I don’t agree at first he threatens me with cupcakes, so I stay behind, but deep down it’s not really about the cupcakes.

Trevor and James tell me that they’re going to go back to the hotel and warm up for a while, that California people were not made for this kind of weather. But they say to have Luke call them when he’s ready and we’ll go out and get something to eat.

‘And you guys can pick the place,’ Trevor says through his chattering, then laughs. ‘Since you weren’t a fan of the restaurant we picked.’

‘Was it that obvious?’ I ask, tucking my hands into my jacket pockets.

Trevor laughs again. ‘It was kind of a dead giveaway when you spat out the water.’ He walks over to the edge of the canopy we’re standing under, heading toward the parking lot.

James doesn’t follow him right away, instead pulling me in for another awkward hug like he did at the airport. ‘It was good to spend time with you,’ he says as I give him a pat on the back, feeling edgy and tense. He pulls away, seeming happy, then waves as he follows after Trevor, shivering the entire way. ‘See you at dinner,’ he calls out.

I wave, then just stand there, under the canopy, staring up at the stars, trying to figure out how I got to this point in my life where people make me cupcakes, make me laugh, give me awkward-as-hell hugs, and invite me to dinner.

I don’t get it.

I really don’t.

But I like it.

My last thought gets to me because I’m accepting it – this life. Which means I’m accepting the possibility that I could lose it. It’s hard to admit this to myself, that I’m taking that chance, something I haven’t done since my parents died.

‘They played a good game, didn’t they?’ Callie says and I startle – I’d almost forgotten she was standing there with me.

I put on smile as I turn to look at her. ‘Yeah, I guess. Although, I really don’t know. Not a football fan. But I’m guessing it’s good because the won.’

She’s leaning against the wall across from the door Luke and Kayden are supposed to be coming out of. The hood of her jacket is pulled over the top of her head and she has a scarf on. ‘Yeah, it was a good game. You should come to the next one with Seth, Greyson, and me.’

I shrug as I recline back against the wall. ‘Maybe.’

‘It gets easier to understand,’ she says. ‘And it makes it more fun.’

I kick the tip of my boot against the ground. I’ve never been good at chatting with girls, and Callie and I don’t have the best history, so I feel a little awkward. ‘You seem to know a lot about it.’

‘My dad’s a high school coach,’ she explains. ‘He was actually Luke and Kayden’s coach when they were in high school.’

‘That’s cool. It must have been fun to watch them play back then.’

She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. It makes me wonder what it was like for her in high school; I wonder if she hated it like I did. ‘So I was thinking that maybe you and I could do some more kickboxing. You seemed to have fun the other day.’

‘Not necessarily fun,’ I say. ‘It was just a little therapeutic.’

She turns to face me. ‘It’s that way for me too, at least it was when I first started it. Now it’s more for fun. I go at least twice a week. Seth usually goes too. You could ride with him.’

I’m not sure about the idea, but don’t just want to throw it away. ‘I’ll think about it,’ I tell her, surprised I actually mean it. It did feel good kicking the shit out of something, even if it was just a bag. I open my mouth to ask her how she got into it, when Jonah Malforten walks up to me and interrupts or conversation.

‘Violet, long time no see.’ He grins his stoned grin as he nudges my boot with his foot. Jonah is a guy I used to deal with and seeing him standing here, near the stadium while I’m talking to Callie, feels like the past is mingling with my present. I find myself not liking it, especially the reminder of my life with Preston.

‘What do you want, Jonah.’ I turn my bitchy attitude on, but this is nothing new to Jonah because back when he knew me, this is how I always was.